The Train of Your Thoughts

Train of Thoughts

What do you spend the majority of your time thinking about? Do you actually have thoughts about one particular subject that override all others? Let’s really pin it down with three further questions. Do you have a passion? Do you have a healthy obsession? Is there something you want to achieve that requires most, if not all, of your attention?

Very successful people would answer in the positive to the majority of those questions. That’s the first thing to be clear on. If you want success, you’ve got to be dedicated, to your passion.

“The train of your thoughts refers directly to what we can describe as the driving force for success”

For a very long time I’ve fought the tendency for my mind to be slightly obsessional. In some ways, those who’re likely to advise me against obsessive thinking, would be correct. Let’s be specific though, obsessive thoughts, can fit into two categories:

  • Healthy, that drive positive outcomes
  • Unhealthy, that drive self-destructive outcomes

The fight against obsessive thinking is a little strange, and to some extent, is simply a battle between factions of the mind, whose ultimate aim, is the same: to decide the nature of life. Put another way, one part of the mind is contented to settle back for comfort, ease and stability, the other, longs for something more.

It comes down to mentality or beliefs. The mentality of seeking comfort, predictability and ease, is the consequence of childhood learnings. The mentality of seeking more, be that challenge, change or variety, is often one introduced to us much later in life. The battle that raged within me, was, in a sense, simply being fought between two sets of belief systems. The first driven by fear, the second driven by love.

When put this way it can seem a little simplistic, however, I’d prefer you viewed this as a ‘beautiful simplification.’

Now for the reason I say this. Once we breakdown, what can seem a jumble of unsolvable and confusing conflicts, into its most basic components, we stand a much greater chance of winning the battle for the best. And be in no doubt, we must ensure love, is the winner.

The mentality driven by fear, is the one that’s looking to avoid the unsettling things we associate with change and variety. Potentially, and especially if your childhood had similarities to mine, the time we found these things unsettling, was during our development. Were you insecure as a child?

As children we crave stability, structure and security. It’s true to say, when children, we do in fact require plenty of security and stability. Insecure children grow up to be insecure adults who may shy away from life enhancing activities. Show me someone who lives with depression and I’ll show you an insecure inner child.

“Where our next meal is coming from, where we go to sleep at night – surrounded by familiar people who love us – is very important. The line to draw here though, is this: we’re no longer children”

If you’ve been fortunate enough to have been shown powerful role models, that clearly distinguished between the security of childhood and the adventure of adulthood, all will be well. If not, you will need to find these role models, later in life. This does potentially have the downside of creating a battle between old and new, however, we must remember, every battle can be won.

Winning the battle is decided by train of thought. Decide to become actively involved with training your mind. Wake each day to remind yourself what each part of your mind is seeking, and decide what that higher part of your mind, wants. That’s to say, do you seek a life driven by fear, or one driven by love? It’s very, very easy, when seen in this light.

Be strong with yourself. Follow each link. Read them several times. Decide: is the driving fear, or is it love? It really is that simple,

Will it be you I get to spend time with this September? It starts here

The Ego, Fragile Ego

Understanding the Ego (a useful take)

Synergies of Passion

It will prove useful to fix your attention on this short post for a moment. If we’re to advance, it’s important we become aware, of what drives us. We must understand the usefulness of the ego and its limitations.

Our ego is what we are, or more specifically, what we believe we are. Put another way, the ego, is the vast collection of beliefs that form our sense of self. Reinforcing this sense of self is expressed when we talk of boosting ones ego.

So when we say: his ego needs a boost we’re referring to the minds need to bolster and reinforce the minds beliefs. The ego is responsible for our reality and the testing of this reality. Confirmation of beliefs is part of this process.

For example, let’s say you believe men treat you badly. In order for your ego to test this reality you may talk openly with friends about how badly boyfriends (past and present) have treated you. The subsequent reaction of your friends will often prove a boost to your ego. In addition to this, continued bad behaviour, of future boyfriends, acts as proof and sufficient testing of the your ego’s reality. The fact that your belief is erroneous, due to its generalised nature, (i.e not all men are arsholes) is of no interest to your ego, at all.

Now, as we can see, there are negative limitations to having an ego. It stands to reason, every negative has a positive, so when it comes to its usefulness we can easily sum this up: Without an ego we become a bit of a dullard.

Alternatively, people with big egos, are interesting people. A big ego is a facilitator to living a full life. All this testing and proving – the ego requires to constantly confirm its reality – drives individuals to constantly seek more. They’re seeking more of the feelings created when it receives confirmation of what it contains. We’re given a good feeling when ego receives confirmation of our reality.

“Confusion comes when this reality is a painful one”

On the one hand we have the ego’s need to confirm what it holds (beliefs) and yet on the other hand, we have the pain these beliefs may be creating. We obviously can’t feel pleasure and pain at the same time (unless we’re amongst the growing band of sadists in the world) so ego, will often defer the good feelings associated with confirmation, until later. Playing the victim when out with friends is the time for that.

Now we have a rudimentary understanding, we’re empowered to make some small, yet powerful changes. Know, all and every belief you hold, is very precious to your ego. Your ego will look to grasp on to what you are. You are your beliefs and the ego’s job is to protect their integrity.

The way in which we’re now empowered is through awareness. Once we’re aware of the job of our ego, we’re aware of its limitations. Its limitations are its unceasing need to protect the integrity of our beliefs. 

What you believe, is not necessarily, true.

Personal Development Workshops introduce tools designed to help bypass, our often stubborn egos, and change our limiting beliefs.

The Time Machine of Opportunity

The Time Machine

The Time Machine
The Time Machine

“I think back to my earlier life and I wonder what would have motivated me to attend a workshop that taught me about beliefs and relationships.”

The honest truth is, it’s highly unlikely I’d have found the reason, my attention was mainly fixed on improving my situation; believing my girlfriend and future wife needed security and a man who was a provider. I believed she was attracted to money I needed to earn it.

Educational workshop
The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet

“From very meagre beginnings (semi-illiterate on leaving school) I strived to retrain and find better paid work. Being a fairly shallow young man, provided there was enough sex, I felt my relationship was okay.”

I did as much as I could to care for my girlfriend and make her happy. Due to my background I believed my role was to care for my girlfriend almost as if she was a dependent. Little did I know at the time, dependency was in fact the attraction. Her mother was an old fashioned dependent housewife and that was ultimately the aim of my girlfriend: to become as dependent as her mother. Daughters often become their mothers. I remember thinking, even at the time, that her mother seemed nervy and slightly neurotic; the outcome of a dependent life.

“In time, I rejected all the emotionally dependant people from my life (luckily children weren’t involved) as on some level I realised, that the model of behaviour (caring for the emotional wellbeing of others) taught me in childhood, was of no real value to anyone (disempowering) and definitely not a recipe for happiness.”

As hard as I may have tried, I never fully managed to break from the model of caring for others, because I didn’t fully understand how and why I was doing it. All I knew, was that after a short time in a relationship, I’d reject it, as the vampires became close and emotionally dependent on me.

If we offer a human being a shortcut out of their responsibilities, they will nearly always take it. We must remember: we’re drawn to people on many different levels, and those seeking this way out would be extremely attractive to me; mostly on an unconscious level of course.

“This human tendency, toward taking shortcuts, is the main reason for my suspicion of our modern health care systems today.”

Many doctors, nurses and all manner of health care professionals, have simply become surrogate parents for those who lacked parental care during their childhood. The human mind will crave this kind of love if not provided when needed. The transition from childhood to adulthood is assisted when the kind of love we experience evolves. If all we seek is a caring love, that belongs in childhood, we then remain stuck. This has the effect of weakening society as a whole. Why do we imagine our healthcare system is creaking at the seams?

“The troubles of the NHS can’t be all about money, much of it is due to the unnecessary demand brought on by needy, dependent adult-children, whose body-minds have found the ultimate solution to receiving a caring love: illness.”

Educational Workshop

“And so, in a sense, attendance on a workshop when young would have been like jumping into a time machine showing me the dangers of the path I was about to follow. The question remains though: what would have motivated me to go an a workshop when my mind was elsewhere?”

I suppose the answer to that question lies in belief: I would have needed to believe in someone who introduced such an education to me. There would have also needed to be some kind of hook that appealed to my young mind. No doubt the prospect of a less tormented life, and being shown the example of a life filled with love and joy, would have motivated me to think again. At the time though, no such educational programme excised, it does now. Think again?

Charity: From the Inside Out

roots
See the Roots

It’s the way it works.

Whether we like it or not, it’s the only way to change what’s happening for us.

Take the example of the father who’s training for a charity run in aid of cancer research. His daughter died young from cancer, and so now he carries so much survivor guilt, he’s getting fit and going on a long run. We can’t run from our guilt, just as we’ll never be able to raise, and give away enough cash, to be rid of it for good. The only way we remove guilt is through understanding it.

Sometimes people die young, the reason they die young, is because ‘sometimes people die young.’ To talk of a ‘lost life,’ if death comes early, is in fact nonsensical. When we do this we’re assuming that life is somehow a right and we’re also assuming that a person’s life should be naturally long.

“To think of a life lost we must create an imagined future – ‘they had their whole lives ahead of them!’ – well no, they didn’t actually.”

When someone dies, whatever their age, what determines natural causes? How is it we don’t consider a random mutation, that then goes on to form cancer cells, as natural? Is it not the case that random events are a natural process?

“When we stop fearing death, spend time with our minds in the present moment, and live everyday to its fullest, then we’re free. We’re free of those who would, and are, taking advantage of our fear.”

Let me go further. Let’s say you believed that flying was dangerous. Now, if you believed this to be the case, would you then spend a lot of time in the air, or would you avoid ever flying? Most people who fly are unlikely to believe it’s a dangerous activity. They may consider it an unnatural activity, for a human, but not actually believe it’s any more dangerous than crossing the road. So it’s true to say, and although strictly speaking incorrect, the belief: flying is dangerous, is likely to keep you firmly on the ground.

To go even further, let’s say you lacked the acknowledgement that flying is an unnatural thing for a human to do. To add to this, how about if your passion was flying, and you actually believed that flying was the most natural thing in the world? If this were the case you’d quite possibly spend a lot of time in the air – either through paragliding, ballooning or whatever –  and so does this then increase the odds of you dying through an air accident? Of course it does; it increases the chances of dying through a random event or accidental failure. And so dying in this way, (hitting the ground at high velocity) is it not something we could consider, a natural cause? A natural consequence to spending a lot of time airborne.

gold-flying-dove-silhouette-no-background-800px
Safe for Some

We can follow this logic in the same way with cancer. The more humans there are, the greater chance of random events, killing us. Cancer in children happens through random mutations, so the more children we have, the greater chance of this happening. Even though feeling guilt, over the death of a youngster when we’ve survived, is understandable, in this instance, it’s misplaced.

“Charity begins with understanding ourselves from within.”

Understanding the reasons, for so much of the suffering and inequality in the world, is far more productive than the charity of giving money. No matter how much money we throw at problems, or as a means of ridding ourselves of guilt, it will never be the cure. If anything, charity can carry the side effects of keeping people stuck through dependence, or compounding worthlessness and limiting beliefs in those who receive our charitable hand-outs.

“The root is always the thing to tackle.”

Every good gardener will tell you, it’s no good looking to simply snip of the leaves or shoots, from the weed. To be truly free from the problem you must tackle it at the root. In the same way, we humans, must stop looking to cure our problems by treating the symptoms only. I cannot guess when this started to be the fashion (big money earner, whoops, did I just say that out loud?) yet we must stop running around in circles, wasting the time and energy, that could be far better placed, tackling the root of our problems.

Learn to fly.

company you keep

Keep My Company

Training And Development
The company you keep holds a direct correlation to your advancement

Imagine an Astrophysicist sitting in the company of a room filled with five year old children; what do you imagine he’s going to be chatting about with these kids? Perhaps he’d be able to chat about what he had for breakfast. Perhaps he could talk about the weather, or draw some nice pictures, or better still, perhaps he could build a castle made of sand!

“Look boys and girls, it holds together better, if you add a bit of water!”

Suffice to say, it’s unlikely he’s going to be chatting about Black Holes, Dark Matter or the Big Bang. He might, if he’s lucky, get to talk about the stars and be able to explain that they’re similar to our sun, but just a very long way away

“Far, far away boys and girls.”

“How far away is far, far away mister?”

“It’s about as far away as I currently am to having an intelligent conversation young lad.”

“Wow! That’s a long way mister.”

No shitting. So to my point: the company you keep will determine how far (or not as the case may be) you’re able to move your mind forward, through bouncing ideas of those around you.

“We all know attitude is infectious, and so in the same respect, we can know that sitting in a room full of five year olds, will only help our Astrophysicist understand the thinking, of five year olds.”

Some might say there’s likely to be a benefit to this and I would agree, yet no matter how hard we look to justify why we’re there, it won’t change the reality, that moving on from where we’re currently sat, needs to happen.

During my time as an Analytical Hypnotherapist (or Hypno-Analyst), I joined a few governing bodies whose aim it was, to promote the ‘discrete discipline’ (whatever that means) of Hypnotherapy (there was, and is, very limited provision for the ‘powerful discipline’ of Analytical Hypnotherapy).

One body in particular – the biggest at that time – offered: The Promotion of Hypnotherapy, The Protection of Consumer Rights, Client Referrals and Registration on their Website. In five years, the only dealings I had with them, involved one client referral, and their flailing negotiations with a member of the public, who, after a Clinical Hypnotherapy session with myself, failed to stop smoking. A situation easily resolved by myself, through offering to refund half of my fee, which my client gladly accepted.

Thankfully, personal responsibility was something I successfully explained to the majority of people I met (it obviously cost me if I failed – there’s a lesson there!). When it came to promoting the power of Hypnotherapy, I didn’t notice one editorial or evidence of any media activity whatsoever, from this particular governing body. Even so, they were quite happy to take my yearly subscription, and f**k you very much for that. Disappointed.

“After leaving this ‘governing body’ my attitude to my work changed. I was no longer someone who simply helped people give up the weed, I evolved into an independent and successful Analyst.”

The moral of the story is, never fully believe, that just because an organisation is the largest, or has a fancy logo, that they’re automatically going to do the best by you, or your clients. Some of them simply enjoy the money and little else. The way of the world so I’m told. We must to be cautious in respect of the company we choose to keep.

“By all means, if you’re a primary school teacher, stick with the company of five year olds, and thank goodness for you, you’re offering an invaluable service to humanity.”

If you’d like to be an Astrophysicist, or Analyst for that matter, seek those who display unending passion for their ‘powerful’ discipline. Not only will they help move your mind forward, they’ll fully expect your company, to move theirs.

Your Greatness – Their Greatness

map of greatness

“Have you ever engaged with someone at a level you’ve never experienced before?”

Have you ever had the feeling you have someone’s absolute, full and complete attention? Have you ever had the feeling that someone understands you so well, that it’s almost as if they’re inside your mind?

This, is the power of analysis conducted by well trained, knowledgeable therapists. Not only that, when you add the power of modern psychotherapeutic techniques, and specifically GOLD Counselling, you have a formula that encourages change.

Clearing the way, for our clients to get all they want from life, is the aim of the committed therapist. Deep within the psyche of all, resides the power to succeed or the power to fail. That’s right, failure takes energy of mind, easily equal to that required, for success.

blackboard3

‘Whatever I believe my mind always achieves for me either in reality or with my imagination as fantasy’ – GOLD Counselling

Required, for gentle insight into where our beliefs were learned, is the induction of a light trance, or relaxed state of mind. Simply listening to music can do this for the average person, due to our ability to focus attention. We’re then asking our clients to focus on some specific instructions; this alone can be sufficient to focus the mind.

Once focused we’re able to access and recall specific moments from our past that directly – or indirectly – link to the sensitising incidents where we learned our beliefs. Judicious questioning reveals startling insight into how, why and from whom we learned what we believe about ourselves, and the world about us.

Make no mistake, clearing the way, by removing limiting and negative beliefs from our minds, is only the first step, however, if we’d never taken our first steps, we’d have never learned to walk.

Imagine walking through life as if it were a minefield. Blindly stepping one way or the other simply hoping intuition, or trusting the map we’ve been shown, will correctly direct us to finding what it is we want. This, is what we all do, to a greater or lesser degree.

“The map is the territory and this map was shown and explained to us by our childhood cartographers. Do we know; can we be sure they got it right?”

Removing any doubt, that we may be heading blindly in the wrong direction – expending valuable energy – simply because we know nothing, other than what our childhood cartographers taught us, is how we positively place ourselves on the correct path.

By giving your clients valuable and elusive insight into their own minds you give them a powerful head start. By giving them the information, missing from the original map, you effectively give them the sight necessary, to see the buried land mines of failure.

There is a map in existence that clearly states: you will only ever have what you give. Your greatness, becomes their greatness as you begin to see clearly the map of misdirection laid out before you. A map that has been directing you, to use your time and energy, headed in the wrong direction.