Be Yourself By Design


The Wonder of It All

Sometimes I sit and ponder about the wonder of it all: the fact that I’m alive and conscious at this moment in history; at this moment in time. Just pondering on consciousness can while away hours. And how about our place in the universe? What about planet earth? A spinning globe sitting near a star we call the sun. A solar system on the arm of an indistinct galaxy. Itself a cluster of millions of stars that sits amongst billions of other galaxies, each with millions, if not billions of stars of their own. All of it moving; travelling; expanding and changing. How lucky we are.

Other times I realise the importance of not pondering too much and simply getting on with it. The importance of doing. Understanding the significance of our good fortune though, does make being here, a little more important.

When becoming involved with Personal Development it won’t take long for you to come across the expression ‘own yourself.’ I think the concept works well enough, especially if you’re a survivor, from a difficult past. A past where the adults around you took ownership of you through emotional and/or physical abuse. Amongst many other things, the effects of abuse, can be a detachment from the self. A sleepy lack of awareness. There can be a lack of identity or an inability to form a clear sense of direction. This is where design comes into play.

“The alternative to design is an aimless drift through life just following instinctive, unconscious drivings, or conditioning”

A man I know, who suffers from poor health, raised a flag for me today. He’s an overweight diabetic in his fifties. Circulation problems are the cause of his bad feet. His bad teeth are hardly worth a mention. With all these problems he continues to smoke, eat junk food (hence suffering with painful hemorrhoids,) and he drinks to excess. There’s no plan or design to his life, in fact, to me, it would seem his plan, is to die before his time. And to not die well either. He spoke to me this morning about having just returned from a holiday:

‘How was it?’ I enquired,

“It was alright I suppose, got pissed a lot, it was all inclusive.”

So much for sightseeing. But then again he can’t walk too far.

Tipping Point

I think about the tipping point. At what point did he decide to not do anything about his health? To me, it seems as if this individual, has decided to not change. That he’s decided the road he’s on has no turn offs or crossroads. What would it take for this lonely, unhealthy man, to wake up and make a plan to survive? Would a fascination, a curiosity for his good fortune, do the trick? Perhaps an appreciation of life? Is it ownership he needs?

“It can never be understated how important a design for life is”

If he’d made a plan to live well from an early age, are we able to imagine life working out differently, for unhealthy man? He’d probably tell you he did make a plan: “but it all went wrong!” Eldest son on drugs, ex-wife that hates him, crap job, very little money, no future. Even so, it’s never too late and I feel that if he took ownership, not just of himself, but of the good fortune life has offered him, he might live a little longer.

He could find the motivation to change. As far as the plan he might have made when young is concerned, well, it can go wrong if we don’t own ourselves to begin with. If we don’t own our mind.


Owning ourself (our mind) can only happen once we know ourselves. If we have very little knowledge of the alternative, unconscious design, our minds may hold for us, it can be a little like trying to train a puppy, whilst he has greater interest in a juicy bone.

A real and tangible understanding of our mind, along with the effects non-ownership can have – and the role of others in this regard – empowers us to take charge.



Sometimes there’s a need to design exactly who we want to be before we’re able to take ownership. Let’s face it, we’re more inclined to desire ownership of something that’s been lovingly designed, are we not? When we’re fully in control, of who draws the plans for this design, ownership becomes an easy consequence. Take charge, make a plan for 2019 that includes Personal Development. You can find your application form here

A True Intelligence

“We humans believe we’re intelligent”

The question is: does this belief help or hinder us?

There are those who would say that you are what you believe, i.e, if you believe you’re intelligent, then you will be. However we must consider the yardstick we’re measuring ourselves against. How do we know we’re intelligent?

Science fiction often presumes there to be far more advanced civilisations out there, and to some extent, even creates concepts and ideas only an advanced lifeform could conceive of. Doesn’t the fact we’re able to do that mean we are in fact intelligent; that we are a higher intelligence.

“Believing something doesn’t make it a fact”

It’s so often the case that we allow commerce, money and growth, to come before intelligence is it not? Consider the packaging industry. Surely there’s been a lack of forethought in respect of the materials they use. The amount of plastic produced is out of control, and this is surely due to a lack of forethought, and future projection. It really isn’t rocket science. All we needed to do, was think about the rather indestructible nature of plastic, and then think about how life would be, if nearly every-product-on-the-high-street were wrapped in it. Suffocating to think about.

“Nevertheless it is actually true to say, we humans are pretty smart; it’s just that we allow ourselves to become a little distracted at times”

In order to distract ourselves we do need our games. There are games that have been drawn up with intelligence, and there are those that are there, simply to entertain. It’s often the games that manipulate our emotions that are the most destructive. These games are played by manipulative adults to amuse themselves and have very little, if any, consideration for others. They’re played only for the sake of the game and the consequences for others are of no real concern.

It isn’t that the players don’t necessarily care, no, the problem is, they only care about how the outcome is likely to effect them. They’re often unable to empathise with others. Even if the consequences of the game were nuclear war, for example, it wouldn’t really matter to the player, whose only concern is for the self and winning. Especially if they have a nuclear bunker, ha ha.

“Anyway, if we want to exhibit the truly intelligent force-for-good that we are, all we need do, is slow-up a little”

Weighing up all the possible connotations and consequences of our actions takes time. If we don’t have the time to do this we must pass it on. Asking the questions, and then working out all the possible outcomes, takes time. Some decisions may need the work of several generations before the final choice is made. We’re all in far too much of a hurry. Slow down. Take a breath. We do this, and we increase the chances of things coming good, in the end.

We may not live to see these clever, well thought out, comings, and yet when we remove self-centeredness, (through maturing as a species) all we will then care about, is how the game comes out in the end. After all, the game of life, is not about winning or losing. No, believe it or not, the game of life is about survival. Survival is not winning, survival is caring about the outcome, for others. Some players seem to have lost track of these particular rules. Think things out.

In answer to the question at the top of the page: Does the belief we’re intelligent help or hinder us, the only way this will prove helpful, is if it’s coupled with another belief: We are thoughtful.

The Long Game Plan

The Long Game Plan

“Recent post have made reference to mentality, or mindset, and this post continues in the same vein”

When we compare the kind of mindset it takes to be successful, and that of successful failure, (we only ever succeed at failing) we reduce the margin for error. People who regularly achieve success in their personal and business lives, do so, through their ability to plan. There are short term, medium term, and long term plans. Playing the long game is all about long term plans.

Think of what it takes to knit a jumper. The first thing we must do is work to a plan. We have the body of the jumper, front and back, we then have the sleeves and the neck. All in all, there are five elements. When knitting the separate parts to our jumper, it does take some imaginative skill, to see it as a complete garment.

“One thing to consider at this point is, we don’t actually need to be able to see the complete garment in our minds eye, all we need is a plan that will eventually bring all the parts together”

It’s a little like modern airliners that are made in different factories in different parts of the world. At some point in the future, all the separate parts are brought together, and assembled to make a complete plane. The person making a wing, doesn’t need concern himself with how the plane will look once completed, neither does he need to know how to build the engine. His job, is to construct the wing, and that’s it.

In the same respect, when it comes to business, or personal lives for that matter, we must take each element and focus on them individually for the greatest success. Compartmentalisation is the ability to focus on one aspect of the plan, to the exclusion of all all other aspects, until it comes to the final assembly.

“Keeping our minds in the present moment means we do lose sight of the outcome of our long term plans”

There is a benefit to this in respect of us breaking things down into their component elements; being in the moment means we focus on that single element at that moment in time.

When working in this manner, the day to day, or moment to moment elements of any long term plan, may seem trivial and insignificant. When the results of each day are fairly small, compared to the eventual outcome, we can become disheartened. Even though this is the case, we must be caution with how much time we spend with our minds in places, other than the present moment.

The long term goal, as with our jumper or plane, is for all the individual elements to finally come together. If we distract ourselves too much with this aim, we may fail. Especially if the long term plan is something that covers a good number of years.

So to sum up. When there are many elements, long term goals, must be planned and executed separately. By keeping our minds in the now moment, once a plan has been drawn up, we ensure each element is completed to the best of our abilities. Spending too much time, envisioning how things will look at the end of the term, can be disheartening and counterproductive.

“Personal development can be seen as an important first element to any plan”

Be it improvements needed in our personal lives or our business lives, understanding how best to use our time and attention, means greater success all round. Ultimately, the clearer the plan, and the time span decided for it, the more efficiently we use our valuable time.   


The Spread of Myopia

Future woman with cyber technology eye panel concept

“If we’re never encouraged to look further than the end of our noses we’ll never learn the quality of planning for a better future”

“Look at that over there!”


“Over there, way off into the distance, you can see it.”

If we observe newborn babies, all they seem to look at, is what’s right in front of them. Their eyes only focusing on what’s immediately apparent. Food, comfort, their own fingers, toes or mothers breast perhaps. Looking way off into the distance is not something a newborn needs to do, unless encouraged, that is.

A recent study suggests myopia (short-sightedness) is on the increase. Perhaps only looking at phones or computers, never looking into the distance whilst playing outdoors, is the root to this.

“We may well evolve into a species that loses the ability to see into the distance, our eyes becoming lazy, the lenses fixed only on the light of what’s right in front of us. A sad loss no doubt.”

Encouraged to occasionally look at the future, as well as mostly remaining in the present, enables us to plan ahead. To draw a map with markers staked at points we’re able to easily reach out for. Remaining fixed in the here and now, means we’re solely relying, on maps drawn out for us by those who also potentially lacked foresight. We’re relying on what we’ve been told in the past. The downside being, a limitation on what we believe is possible.

“When we lack foresight we lack the imagination to conceive a better future where many things are possible.”

We must break free from expected norms, and poor standards set by the past (and those within it), and then gain the ability to imagine a better future. This is to be progressive in our thinking.

“All of this is important to consider; if we want to influence others to change in positive ways that is.”

To influence others we briefly look at the past – so we may understand it’s influence on the present. We must then look to an imagined, improved future, to change the negative influences of past mistakes. Without foresight we are lost. Without the courage to see into the distance, we limit and restrict ourselves to the old and outdated beliefs, of the dead. The past is dead and so are those who belonged in it.


There are those concepts and ideas that – once their time finally comes – are considered to have been ‘ahead of their time.’ Be ahead of time, cease the spread of myopia, and be part of a better future with the courage to see into the distance now.

what's the plan?

So, What Exactly Was the Plan?

what's the plan
Openings to mind

“There she is, appearing on national television, telling the world how hard it will be now, and how she may as well quit her job, because her benefits are being capped at £23,000 a year.”

Be cautious if you’re instantly feeling like this may be a judgemental rant, because as with most assumptions, you’d be wrong. All, that will be attempted here, is some assistance for future generations by using the above example further.

You see, the lady in question was being interviewed by a journalist on national TV, about the issue of benefit capping, and how it is now being enforced here in the UK. From today, no one will be entitled to claim more than £23,000 per year – outside of London – or £26,000 within.

All well and good you may say, as the intention – of this capping – is to encourage people, who’ve become dependant on the benefits system, to go back to work. The problem now being, as you’ll have noted above, and for reasons not fully explained, the lady in question doesn’t feel able to carry on working.

To add insult to injury, our example is a single mother with eight children (no that’s not a spelling mistake) and as such, benefits are currently something she’s not only dependent on, but her eight children are being kept alive with. And let’s not forget, the elite ruling classes of this country, do need all these children to survive, as a future generation will be needed to do all the hard work, pay their bills and facilitate an opulent lifestyle. Perhaps I’m joking with that last sentence, you decide.

Now, our journalist made the point that £23,000 is more money than many people survive on who work – and as a mother – she had decided to have eight children. A fair point, and the lady in question responded by saying: “yes, but I didn’t plan on being alone.” If I was interviewing this unfortunate lady, my response would be: ‘are you sure about that?’

A beneficial understanding of the human mind – is to know – that at a level our example wasn’t consciously aware of, she did actually plan, to be alone with eight children. An unconscious plan to prove her generalised, negative beliefs about men and women, will have been the driver of this plan. She may well believe this:

Men are:

users, bastards, deserters.

Women are:

used, lonely, afraid

These negative beliefs, or similar, are generalised in the unconscious mind, and will have been in operation at varying points during her relationships. Indeed, whenever a man left her, they would most certainly have become conscious, but if for a short time only.

So back on point, it’s not our single mother, with her eight children, who’s to blame here. Neither is it the hack-journalist – using her as an extreme example, for the purposes of teaching guilt, so the elite may retain power over her – no, it’s the fault of our failing education system.

If we could turn back time, one thing we could do, is this: We could take hold of our future single mother, as a teenage child, and gently point out some facts of life, that certain people would prefer she didn’t come to understand. These facts of life go like this:

“So far, during your time here on earth, you will have been taught some conflicting beliefs. Within these belief systems there will be positive beliefs and negative ones – you only need consider your physics classes for a moment, to understand the need for positives and negatives in the universe.

Now, when it comes to relationships, you may well hold the belief that men will love you, yet how they love you and what love is, may  be incorrect. You may believe they love you when they take you to bed. This is incorrect.”

You may also believe that because men are deserters, users and bastards, that having babies, is the solution to keeping them home, this is also incorrect.

If you would like a healthy, loving relationship in the future, where the man respects and empowers you, be cautious about how you behave now, as this will determine the type of man you welcome into your life in the future.”

If you’re a woman reading this, and you’re very fortunate, you’ll hold the beliefs – and they will be the predominant unconscious beliefs – that love is empowerment and that men love you when they look to teach you this, and build your sense of individuality in the process. The result being a wonderful, if not beautiful relationship – or relationships, as nothing lasts forever.


Once courageous enough, we’ll all be able to empower our children in this way. Remember, there is no one to blame here, except a system built for control. Only when we have the strength to shine light, on the shadows of ignorance, will we set people free – all people.

the key is parents who teach empathy

Where’s The Fun in That?

Golden key and puzzle

You’re crouched behind a low wall, your heart is beating fast, you’re anxious, you’re scared you have a rifle in your hands, the gun is sighted, you pull the trigger. Bang! He’s dead. So where’s the fun in that?

The plan is laid, the bomb is strapped around your torso. Now walking, as calmly as you possibly can, headed to the crowded market. You pick your moment, you’re sweating profusely, yet you know this is the only way. Bang! You’re dead.  So where’s the fun in that?

You’ve had a drink too many, you’re feeling happy, he’s asked you back to his room. You’re having sex it’s exciting, you’re drunk, and now his friend is at it too. Bang! You’re mind is dead. So where’s the fun in that?

“Whether it be shooting at your enemies, choosing martyrdom, from the self-detonated bomb, or having exciting sex taken much too far, we’re all able to find a way to make a complete mess of our own little world, aren’t we?”

You might wonder what it is that compels us humans to be so damned self-destructive. It’s not as if we plan it this way is it? The plan is usually survival of one form or another. A belief in the afterlife, one much better than this, is obviously very appealing when you live in abject misery. Especially when the corrupted teachers of hate and fear get hold of your mind when young. What underdeveloped countries lack is all too obvious: good leadership.

And what about the night out turned sour? Or playing war games with real guns and bombs, ships and tanks? We didn’t plan on getting raped. We didn’t plan on getting shot or being the shooter, destroying our lives with the guilt and shame of taking life.

Looked at from afar, we can see the games we play as simply that: games that have gone too far. Games where the rules of proper sportsmanship have become confused and overly complicated. Games of fear that we play out in reality making our lives, and that of others, a hellish misery.

When young, if we’re lucky, we’re asked to ‘play nicely.’ To play our games in a way that is controlled and based on simple rules. We’re asked by our parents: “if you hit Johnny like that, how do you imagine he feels?” We’re asked to be gentle and loving, we’re shown how to play nicely. We’re taught empathy. It’s as if we’re lacking these lessons in how to think. It’s as if we’re missing the lessons of how to love and build compassion for our fellow man.

How do the people left behind feel when you blow yourself up? How do the loved ones, of the man you’ve just shot, feel, when picking up the pieces of your violent act? If you take this woman when she’s drunk – with little control over her mind – how will she feel in the morning? Will you feel like a man or a coward? Would you feel ashamed? A real, courageous, strong man, doesn’t overpower a woman, to get what he needs, he respects her needs first. Where have all these men gone? Where are all the gentle-men?

“Truly courageous men and women don’t take up the gun or the bomb in the belief it will get the job done. True courage is displayed by those who seek, the more challenging and difficult job, of finding peaceful solutions. Where have all the peace-keepers gone?”

We can carry on failing and flailing, in an unthinking way, or we can plan to succeed. We succeed, not through destruction, but by the construction of loving bonds and lasting resolutions to the lazy solution of fuelling violence, anger and hatred. It starts with understanding how we fail. We fail through failing to plan with empathy and love for each other in our hearts. We fail by failing to plan.


When it comes to planning, and specifically how we plan on finding the correct people to lead us, it’s seems we’ve still to learn from our mistakes. We humans, don’t necessarily always learn from our mistakes, only sometimes.

So what about leadership? Those who are drawn to politics are not necessarily the correct calibre of people to lead us. We need a rethink. At the end of the day, it’s us that’re electing people who border on – or are completely full blown – psychopaths. Loving, powerful leaders with the skill of empathy, are rare, how do we find them? We find them in their childhood.

We must teach our children empathy and how to be effective leaders in their childhood. Only then will we have a pool of potentials, who, as adults, can lead us all on to greatness. Sound crazy? Think about it. We really do need a rethink, or perhaps just a reminder, of how and why certain leaders, from our distant past, became so great.