Reaching for Ideals

Ideal:

noun

  1. a conception of something in its perfection.
  2. a standard of perfection or excellence.
  3. a person or thing conceived as embodying such a conception, or conforming to such a standard, and taken as a model for imitation.

Should we seek the ideal? Is being an idealist different to being a perfectionist? The English dictionary defines the idealist as this:

  • Someone who believes that very good things can be achieved often when this does not seem likely to others.

We’re told that perfectionism is a negative

We’re told that wanting perfection, and only settling for this, is something to be avoided. If we believe there’s no such thing as perfect, yet at the same time seek it, we’re certainly going to be wasting a lot of energy.

Alternatively, when we understand perfection – as simply an ideal to strive for – we’re able to achieve our best in any given moment of time. Our efforts may not have been perfect, yet we can be comfortable in the knowledge, we did our best. In this respect we must have a ‘benchmark’ to reach for. There must always be a gold standard.

So whether we like it or not, perfection, is always going to be something strived for. The perfect body, the perfect house, life, car, job, child, marriage, we could go on. The downside of this, will be the negative feelings we’re left with, when we inevitably fall short. We’ll feel frustrated, dissatisfied and unfulfilled when we fail to reach perfection. Eventually we may give up altogether.

With this in mind, only reaching for the ideal, is the objective

Being the best we can be without achieving perfection is the plan. After all, to be perfect would leave us with nowhere else to go; a very dangerous situation indeed. And so in this respect, it’s very sensible for us to see perfection, as unachievable. Thankfully there will always be better to strive for. Seeing this for what it is, gives us room to work harder, even when we know we’ve done our very best.

It’s the knowledge that there is always more that keeps humans striving to move forward. We can always do better. There is always more. A very reassuring fact. This brings me on to the key understanding we must strive for.

At The Freedman College we believe it makes perfect sense for us to be striving for a better understanding of one key element in our lives.

“When we focus our attention on this one key element all other things are found”

If we come back to the examples given of what we seek perfection in for a moment (be it lives, bodies, marriages or houses), all of these things are easily achieved, when we have a clear understanding of this key element. Here it is: The Ideal of Love.

Once we cease – in our misunderstandings and misinterpretations of love – we will stop striving for an unachievable ideal. Because we’re confused about love, we don’t actually know, what we are in fact striving for. For example, we’re told that love is many things. The nonsense of this definition is the very thing causing confusion. If we don’t even know what it is, how can we strive to find it?

When young we often think we’re in love

We confuse the feelings we may have for someone as love. We may feel that we need someone, or that we feel lost without them; that we pander for them, or pine for their attention. We mistake lust and infatuation for love. We must make ourselves aware: Emotions of craving have nothing to do with love. Further to this, we mistake many aspects of fear, for love. We think because we fear losing them that we must love them. Fear of loss is fear of pain. Love is completely devoid of this.

We really only need ask ourselves one thing to know whether we’re in love or not. Here it is: Do I want to empower this person? The true emotion of love is something we’re awarded when we witness the freedom of our loved ones. Anything other than this will never be love and only a poor imitation and illusion of it. 

“To know if our version of love is reciprocal, all we need do, is turn the question around like this: Is this person empowering me?”  

At this stage be sure to have a clear understanding of the word empower. It is not empowerment to need a person and neither is it empowerment to give yourself up to another. Empowerment is when we’re able to lift a person to be a free individual standing on their own two feet who is the best version of themselves they can possibly be at that moment in time.

At the same time – as your empowerment of them – this power sets you free. The more people who have a clear understanding of this the better.

Here is the definition of an ideal love that we believe to be A Basic Human Right:

“Love and the ability to teach it, is wanting and needing to empower your partner and children to evolve into whole human beings who are free of fear, because that process gives you pleasure, freedom from your own fear, and brings you closer to wholeness”

Create Beautiful Partnerships

Wholeness is a calm acceptance of this version of love and that of yourself as a near perfect example of a human being.

Strive for this ideal and all other things will come.

Who or What is God?

Who or What is God?

We can never know the answer to that question

The thing about God is we can neither prove nor disprove His existence. You might think this convenient for those who believe in Him. Perhaps you’d be right with that. For those who do believe in God The Creator, all they need do, is look around and see proof of His existence, everywhere. The belief is sufficient for them to totally negate the realities of evolutionary processes.

And then we have the dilemma of who started that process. Who’s to say it wasn’t God, who planted that first seed, triggering what resulted from a few amino acids, some billions of years ago. To some it’s simply a game of numbers: enough suns with exoplanets, mixed with a lot of heat, chemicals etc., and eventually you’ll get life. But who’s to say it wasn’t a being of higher consciousness, that created the gases and chemicals, that made all the suns to begin with. We could go on forever with that argument, couldn’t we?

The Believers

At the end of the day beliefs are all it comes down to. Beliefs will always be blind to evidence for or against. Think of the web of beliefs, relating to God or Gods, that have been created by man. Over thousands of years they’ve been constructed as a means of explaining the unexplainable: who we are, why we’re here and so on.

“Beliefs are a means of explaining but also a means of shifting responsibility. A means of empowering some, and at the same time, disempowering others”

Think of those who believe that God is in some way responsible for their suffering. They say: “I’m suffering and this is God’s will.” In other words they’re saying: “I have no choice.” To believe that a higher force has control over what happens to us during our lives, is defeatist for some, and empowering for others. Those who are in control of the rules, the religious leaders, live off the back of these kinds of beliefs. It’s useful, for these particular human beings, for their subjects to feel they have no choice; that it’s God’s will no matter what’s happening to them.

On the positives of beliefs in God

Think of those who believe they are in some way chosen; that their good fortune can be attributed to the grace of God. Such people have been hated all through history. To make such a claim no doubt causes the claimant to stick out somewhat. A bit like the proverbial sore thumb hit with a hammer wouldn’t you say? They feel they’re looked on favourably by God. The advantage to this is, if you actually believe it, then you will be. Your mind has reason to believe that you will have a blessed and fortunate life. It is God’s will that you should prosper. Perhaps we should all have some of that!

Just yesterday I became engaged in conversation with a fellow blogger. Obviously a very intelligent young man who, even after some well placed argument, still insisted that God is responsible for suffering. I told him how I understood suffering to be a choice. How suffering has been devised by man for the control of other men.

For example, if we lock a man in a cell, and because isolation is against the instincts of man, he will suffer. However, if he trains his mind sufficiently, he can actually adjust to his isolation. He can begin to accept and potentially even enjoy it. But until this is the case, he’s at the mercy of his captors; totally under their control. Ask yourself this: Is a homeless man, who has adjusted to life on the streets, free or as trapped as we are? The average man has many, many chains, to bind him.

It is always a choice as to whether we suffer or not.

To my fellow blogger I also mentioned the flip side of all this. How those who suffer are teaching guilt. How they’re telling the rest of us: “I am suffering, so you must help me.” Their suffering is buying them something. It’s getting them a level of control over the people who surround them. Much in the same way a child will gain attention from its carers when in pain.

The child will learn that pain gets attention. Occasionally such a child will grow to adopt the “I’m suffering” angle as an adult. They do this in order to gain the illusion of power over others. To gain power over a system. It is of course a nonsense and an illusion; a fragile one at that. What the sufferer doesn’t realise is, their choice to behave in such a way, is to behave as a child all their life; so very wasteful wouldn’t you say? To waste a life. To then claim, their suffering is God’s will, is just another means of not taking personal responsibility. “It’s not my fault” they say.

I told my fellow blogger the tale of man I once new whose wife had died unexpectedly young. All this widowed man did was mope and moan. He suffered for years in his grief. I told him about choice and he shouted: “Oh, so I chose for my wife to die?!” I said: ‘No but you are choosing to maintain your suffering.’ He didn’t thank me, that’s for sure, and yet probably changed at a later date.

A Childish Concept

When we take a step back and consider the kind of things said, relating to God, we can see them as a construct from the childish human mind. The idea of prayer. An afterlife (there is one of sorts, think of the lifespan of an atom, it’s a very, very long time). Virgin births without medical explanation; that our destiny is out of our hands. Remember, many of these beliefs only suit those in power. Religions keep us in our place. Religions keep us powerless and subservient to the antiquated beliefs, that are serving to maintain the easy lives, of the powerful. Royalty and religious leaders live of the back of our continued ignorance.

“All in all, to think we can have any idea – of the what and who of God – is an absurdity”

Staying with childish thoughts for a moment. If there was a higher being, able to create the universe and everything within it, how could we, with our level of consciousness, ever possibly understand this. With our minds, as they currently are, we can only just touch on the realities of what surrounds us. We are simply not conscious enough to properly conceive of a consciousness that could create all that we see. At the present time we can only guess, with our childish notions, of what this is really all about.

One thing we can conceive of is time. We have a small sense of its passing. The universe is old, very old, and it’s true to say, a lot can be achieved if you have enough time. Perhaps that’s all we’re really dealing with. After all, there are very good odds of extraordinary things happening, when given enough time. Time is all we have. Be the master of your own destiny. Contact Us.

Philosophers and Game Changers

“There have been many Philosophers over the years who’ve cited that everything is simply a game. In some respects this can be useful, and in others, not so”

One advantage to seeing the behaviour of others as gameplay is that we’re able to think strategically. That is to say, we not only seek out a means of playing the game on their terms, we also look to play this game, to win.

“All of this changes though, when the game becomes abusive. Just as with a game of football, when things become abusive, red cards are shown, and players sent off”

If we intend, on seeing the actions of others as simply a game, we must know when to draw the line. In other words, when the gameplay becomes abusive, it’s time to show your opponent the red card. It’s time to cast them from your life.

Perhaps casting someone from your life isn’t practical, they might be a work colleague for example, so when this is the case, seeking out new employment might be necessary. If this isn’t an option there’s always murder. It must be brought to mind though, there aren’t many who get away with this. Unless you’re a government representative, or a member of some other untouchable organisation (of which there are many), murder is probably best avoided.

“So when murder or new employment aren’t options, firm boundaries and as much silence as is practicable, are a potential solution”

In an earlier post entitled How To Defend The Empath I spoke of the necessity of becoming emotionally detached. Manipulative game players are only able to get under our skin, so to speak, through tapping into our emotions. Developing thicker skins, and not being drawn into emotionally abusive gameplay, is key. Learning how to do this can take time. However, just as other Philosophers will tell you, time, is in fact, all we have.

When you feel so inclined be free to take some time and explore the many posts on this site. I hope you find the inspiration to move forward in your life. If time is of great value to you, remember there is always the option of experiencing us – The Freedman College team – first hand. Until we meet. Thanks for giving the only thing you have.

Andrew Freedman א

Human Beings

“Are we doing what we do because we like human beings? Sometimes we think: what is there to like?”

If we were an advanced form of robot, like those depicted in the video, would there be much to like about a biological lifeform such as humans? I ask this because of the brutality of biology. When we take a step back and consider all that biological life entails – and how we seem to manage and make our way through it – it does beg the question: how? How do we cope with knowing what we do about inequality, suffering and pain? How do we cope with being conscious of these things. How do we cope with knowing the true vile nature of humans.

Some say we cope, being conscious of life, by going slowly insane. Others say we cope with the horrors mother nature inflicts on us, through being far less conscious, than we think we actually are. If mothers, didn’t forget the brutality of natural birth, for example, they’d never have more babies. If potential mothers were truly aware of the brutality of childbirth would they ever have children at all? Of course they would. Instinct is far more powerful than consciousness.

In contrast to this, when our consciousness becomes more powerful than instinct, we have far more choices and options. The question is though, how many of us actually have a consciousness more powerful than our instilled instincts? I would hasten to say, not many at all.

“What we do have, is varying degrees of consciousness, and it’s this that decides the level of control, we have over our destiny”

Coming back to my initial thoughts: are we doing what we do because we like humans? The immediate answer is what we’re taught to believe i.e. if you don’t love yourself you can’t possibly love another. So what happens if you love yourself but still struggle to see the love and goodness in other humans? Should you look to instil love, as you understand it, in others, or just give up on them?

The thinking could be that we can’t wait for humans to lose their biological form, and all the negatives of human nature that comes with it: the vile gameplay that comes with inadequacy and fear – as just one example. At times, we all despair and think:

“Why would I want such a lifeform to make it further than they have? Why would I want such a destructive and harmful creature to survive? Other things will evolve.”

But who’s to say the next lifeform to evolve, into gaining consciousness, will be any less vile/violent than us? The chances are, any lifeform that does manage to better us, would be even worse. Think about the nature of all life on earth, how everything is feeding of everything else. It’s a violent place.

“Ultimate, we must remember, the antidotes to these thoughts, are to understand the violent nature of the universe itself”

Humans are a product of this. As such, perhaps it’s reaching a stage, where we’re able to tame ourselves sufficiently – through raising our awareness – that’ll facilitate the kind of programming advanced robots will require.

For the human animal, to evolve beyond its current biological form, it will obviously need to advance its thinking. AI robots programmed with current human behaviour and thinking, are likely to be just as conflicted and doomed, as we are. We do need to advance much further in our current form.

With this in mind, perhaps what’s important, is to keep the end goal in sight. In other words, it’s not the current humans that matter, it’s what they might become that does. With your help that is. Contact Us.

How to be Extraordinary

“On reading the title of this post you might instantly assume it’ll be about all those marvellous people who achieve wondrous things”

From the world’s greatest sportspeople, to the those who’ve made groundbreaking discoveries, we know all about extraordinary. This post is not about any of them. It’s not about needing to practice something for hours, days and years, to become great. It’s not about the supper intelligence needed to understand the universe, no, none of those things. What it’s about, is how, in just a moment, you can become extraordinary. In a moment of thought to be exact.

Now, I wonder if you’ve ever taken a moment to look at reviews; book reviews in particular. Perhaps a silly question because we all do it don’t we? We buy through the power of approval. The more people approve of something the more likely we’ll buy it. If it’s buying from Amazon we scroll down to check out the reviews. If we’re buying off the shelf, we instantly turn the book over to read the blurb, and we open the cover to seek out the forward and reviews. We actually need this approval to help make our minds up. In fact, it’s often the case, that others make up our minds for us.

And so what I want to talk about is the people who write these reviews. I find it curious. How is it they feel the need to try and either bolster or shatter the ego of authors? How is it these people think they’re sufficiently qualified to give they’re opinions and judgements? What exactly do they think they know?

“The point being, in order to become extraordinary, we must abstain from giving opinion and judgement”

Allow me to explain.

Often when we give an opinion we do it unthinkingly. We’re not actually asking ourselves why we’re doing what we are. We’re not asking: What is the purpose of my words and actions? When we can understand, that our opinion is worthless, we understand something great. In the process we become extraordinary. Allow me to explain further.

Think of this. What if every book review stated this and this alone:

“I’ve read it now make your own mind up”

One thing’s for sure, we’re more likely to buy a book that had fifty statements, than one that had three. We obviously buy from the power of numbers. Does this go some way to explaining the worthlessness of opinion? It’s the numbers that matter, not the words.

“To become a truly extraordinary person, all you need do, is recognise an important fact”

When you’re one of the unthinking multitudes you’re nothing. Once you begin to ask yourself a few fundamental, simple questions, you become a true individual. In reality, there aren’t that many truly individual people about. As such, there’s lots of opportunity out there! Becoming extraordinary is the easiest thing in the world when you think of it. Here are those questions mentioned:

  1. What is my true purpose?
  2. Is what I’m about to say or do based on love or fear?

Before the second question finds its power, you will need to understand and recognise the difference between the motivation of love, or fear respectively. Try this one for example. ALL Amazon reviews, are based on fear. “What?!” I hear you say.

Here’s a clue. Writing a good review is driven by a need to bolster the authors ego through bolstering your own. You want people to read and value what you have to say about a good author. You’re doing it off the back of someone else’s work. That is fear driven. The (seeming) opposite of writing a bad review, is the need to damage the ego of the author, and bolster your own in the process. Also fear driven.

“Keeping opinions to yourself is driven by love because you’re allowing the potential readers to be individuals themselves”

When what you do and say is based on love the more considerate and extraordinary you’ll become. Through thinking and asking just two questions – then searching deeply – you’ll become extraordinary in an instant. Furthermore you could become a beautiful person, and that, is extraordinary!

Teach Me Passion – Award Me A Beautiful Life

“Prompted by an earlier conversation I feel it’s time to talk about passion once again”

How would a Buddhist describe his beautiful life? A Buddhist would no doubt go into talking about Buddhist philosophies and beliefs. He would assert that beauty is found through following his beliefs and philosophies. The Buddhists believe they have the answers. Because they believe this, they have.

I believe, when we take matters down to their grass roots, we’re awarded a much clearer understanding of things. At this level, we can see the reason why Buddhists believe they have beautiful lives. We clearly see it’s because of their passion for Buddhism. The same goes for anyone who’s successful in fully believing their own useful and positive beliefs and philosophies. And this is the case no matter what they may be. 

To further explain, let’s say we asked Elon Musk or Richard Branson whether their life was beautiful, and if so, how they’ve achieved it. It’s quite possible they’d also go into the realms of their beliefs and philosophies. Once again though, we can nail this on the head by recognising something very important about wealth and success: it’s passion that brings it.

“Whether Buddhist or businessman, happiness, and the prospect of living a beautiful life, comes as a byproduct of passion”

Both of the above examples highlight what lies at the root to happiness, wellbeing, and beauty. Never get strung up on the detail of why people are living beautiful lives. It’s all relative to their particular philosophies and beliefs, and they’ll no doubt be happy to fill you in, on all the details. The thing to remember is this: In the example of Buddhist, or wealthy businessman, both believe they’re living beautiful lives. And this is even though they live at opposite ends of the spectrum.

 

And so, it comes as no surprise to say, once you find a useful and positive philosophy to believe in – and be deeply passionate about – you’ll be on the path toward finding a beautiful life. It has nothing to do with status, wealth or standing, and has everything to do with passion.

“In whatever you choose to do with life, learn how to be passionate, about it”

This brings me neatly to a gentle reminder of what lies beneath passion. Oh yes. For just as with quantum mechanics, we’re also able to reduce human drivings down many levels. What lies beneath passion is love. Once you’ve learnt what love really is, you will effortlessly, Create, A Beautiful, Life.

Want to learn more? Contact Us     

A Beautiful Li(F)e

“Gaining a beautiful life has nothing to do with status, equality, or justice”

A beautiful life is gained when we’re raised by adults who empower us through their love. Their empowering love manifests itself through a burning desire to teach us how to be fully grown. Being educated and informed, as to the ways of the world, and entering adulthood with our eyes open, means we’re properly equipped, to see through the lies.

Inequality is the result of beliefs held by the individual and the level of their dependence created through ignorance. The uneducated, ignorant individual, can do nothing about inequality. The educated man will see it for what it truly is: The belief in have or have not. The main thing the educated man truly wants and needs – to live a beautiful life – is a family and an empowering love, driving him, to raise our children to be fully grown adults. A beautiful cycle.

“Justice and injustice are a fallacy”

There is no such thing as justice. Where there is no justice there is no injustice. We have peace of mind, and resolution to the wrongs inflicted upon us, when we fully understand the need for painful lessons in life. Seeking justice, instead of understanding, keeps us as children wanting an immature vengeance. We’re taught: In order to ease our pain, we must cause more.

“The response to pain, from an adult love, is the search for understanding”

The parents of a brain dead child, fighting to keep him artificially alive, do this due to their inability to see the rights of the child as being greater than their own. When we, as a species, see the rights of the child, as always being greater than ours (by default), we will evolve into the loving beings we’re (possibly) destined to become.

“If we’re going to award a child the right to life, we must also be prepared to offer this same child, the right to die. The fact we need a court of law, to decide this for us, is absurd”

Parents, who have no model or concept of what it means to be fully grown, are constantly fighting a battle with themselves. They are quite literally fighting for control over their emotions and powerful will of their inner child. They cannot stand to let go of a child they believe to be their property. The child does not belong to them it belongs to itself. We can empathise with their suffering, yet how can we possibly display sympathy, for parents who are prepared to put their needs (to be free of suffering) before the rights of the child? The paradox, is now the courts have instructed them to allow the child to die in peace, their suffering will end.

“The worlds beliefs in money, equality and justice, will change, once we’re free from the suppression of ignorance”

True freedom is the ability to question the beliefs and expectations of others. Amongst many other things, the mature parent, is able to teach the child power of choice. They ask: “If you choose this option what will the possible outcomes be? Are those outcomes something you want?”

Contact Us if you need to know more about freeing yourself from limiting beliefs.    

The Only Game to Play

king and queen

The first thing we must understand is how we’re currently all being played. It really doesn’t matter what’s being presented to us through the media, all we need know, is its nature: Gameplay.

If we look at the big picture, in terms of migration and the displacement of millions of people from war torn countries, this picture helps us understand how leaders are playing on the world stage.

For example, if a chemical attack were staged, what would this kind of plant serve? Would staging chemical attacks, give world leaders reason enough to get involved with a civil war, that’s raging out of control?

Is world war – all be it a proxy war in Syria – something human minds crave for? Humans enjoy fighting. Gameplay leads to an inevitable scrap. In fact, gameplay, is often the precursor, to a full blown ‘gloves off’ fight, on any playground.

“With all this said, let’s bring it all back down to earth again and talk about the individual”

From recent experience I fully understand the power of the majority view. Even if this view is at opposite ends of the scale. This scale could range from lackadaisical to warmongering, or passionate to indifferent, and it would still infect us all, when expressed by a majority. The majority view is very powerful yet not necessarily correct.

“Think about the majority view on alcohol. It was once believed, a small amount of piss was good for us, now we understand this to be bunkum”

The ability to set ourselves – above the game-view of the majority – is gained when we embrace our true individuality. In order to achieve this, it’s tempting to imagine this individuality, as superior in some way. All we’re likely to get through this attitude though, is membership to another majority group; and a very unpleasant one at that! Pointless. So no, separating ourselves from the majority, through believing in superiority, is counterproductive.

“We rise above the majority by embracing our individuality and changing the direction of our thinking” 

By being clear in our minds about what our purpose and direction is, and having this as our motivation, we raise our game; not through thinking we’re somehow superior, but through being led by cleverness. There’s no cleverness in thinking we’re superior. There is cleverness in believing our driving is one of compassion and love. With this understanding in place, the only game we need play, is one driven by the positive emotions they create.

It’s clearly stated in the rules of this game, if we want love for ourselves, the world and others, we must look to teach: – ‘those things we understand that others presently don’t.’ In other words, once we understand what the cleverness of love would do about war, we must then teach others about this.

And so:

What would love do about war? Would love find a peaceful resolution by making a smart move within the world-game? And if so, what can you, as the individual, do about this? Perhaps, all you’d need, is an understanding of the nature of the games we all play.

We can help you with that.        

Defence Against the Lies

Truth and Lies

How can we tell if someone is lying? How can we defend ourselves against the damage of lies?

If we start with understanding what a lie is, and why they’re so common, we begin the process of understanding how to defend ourselves against them.

Let’s just take ourselves back to being young for a moment, and gently ponder, on the lies we told at that time. Straight away, there might now be a few who tell a lie, to themselves. They might be saying: “I never told lies.” Whoops, let’s just let that one go then shall we, and start again. We all tell lies. That’s right, all of us.

“The truth, and the truth of our opinions can be hurtful, so of course, we protect people’s feelings. We protect them against the truth of either our opinion, or indeed, the truth itself”

In this instance, we can consider the lie as being driven by our empathy, and consideration for the feelings of others. Even when we tell lies under such circumstances though, in a deeper part of our minds, we do understand lying isn’t necessarily useful. The lie may protect someone’s feelings, however, in the long term, the lie may do harm. For example, if someone close to you were to ask: “Do you love me?” And you’re answer is: “Yes,” when the truth is you’re no longer certain, eventually the truth will out, and the lie will then be seen as harmful. When the eventual break up comes, the question will be: “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could have moved on with my life years ago.”

So we can easily see, the issue of lies, is a complicated one. Telling the truth, in the above example, would take great courage. Now, pause for a moment if you will. Can we spot the real lie in the above example? Is it not the case, the real lie, is the reason for saying yes? Indeed we do want to protect feelings, however, because we’re fearful of loss, through making a mistake, the real lie, is that we tell ourselves we’re protecting someone else. What would the pain of loss cost you? Truth, it would seem, is often avoided in order to protect ourselves, as well as the feelings of others. Self preservation, is the lot of the lie, is it not?

“Now, when it comes to defending ourselves against lies, this is where it gets very interesting”

There are those individuals who are specially trained at spotting lies. Police detectives, psychologists and therapists, are potentially the best at spotting them. They deal with them all the time. With this said though, how competent are the rest of us at spotting lies? Can you easily spot one? Here’s a clue to the truth of that question: Everyone is lying to you right now. Almost everything you hear is laced with some kind of lie.

We must take on board the self preservation aspect of lies. To help with understanding this, let’s form the presupposition that everyone, is fearful of being alone. Let’s also state, that on one level, everyone is in fact already aware of this, and all we’re doing, is playing psychological games, through our lies, in order to escape accepting this truth.

With these presuppositions and understandings in place, defending oneself against the potential harm of lies, is easy. All we need do, is accept our own aloneness. Once we’re able to do this, there is no longer any need for us to lie, and lies from others, can be seen for what they are: A cry for love. Should anyone reject us through our truth, it will no longer matter, because we already understand ourselves as alone.

“Alone, is when no other person is able to be part of our mind, body, or soul. Can any other person be part of your mind, to the extent they could read your thoughts? No. As such, you are alone.”

In order to take our understandings of lies a little deeper, I need to change tack slightly. I need to talk about those people who’re able to create the illusion of being part of your mind. Once this illusion is created, you feel less alone, and as such, safer. There is great danger here. You can potentially become owned, controlled and dependant, on a person who has the ability to create such an illusion. The lie, is that they’re part of your mind; that they have some kind of connection with you, that’s more than mere similarity. You are the one who’s creating the lie incidentally. You’re lying to yourself.

“I’m going to give you a clear example of this. Take some time here”

Imagine a conversation with someone close, who starts talking to you, with the assumption you already know part of what they’ve been thinking. For example, they start the conversation, like this: “She said she didn’t know.”

Okay, a conversation initiated in such a fashion, could go one of two ways. You either ask them: “WTF are you talking about? Or you could take a moment to work out who they might be referring to: – There might be some tenuous link with a previous conversation, or you might be able to easily work out who’s been spoken about. Firstly, your attention has been grabbed. Secondly, in the process of you working out who’s been spoken about, you’ll be creating the illusion of being inside someone else’s mind. Something that creates a very powerful bond. Always bear in mind. This. Is. An. Illusion.

“Remember where the lie is here”

The lie is that it’s possible to be inside someone else’s mind. Don’t be fooled, once you buy into such a lie, you can be very easily manipulated. All of us humans are looking for one thing: to be less alone. Those who’re able to create the illusion of mind reading, will have immense power over you.

To the point. Lies are used as a means of protecting the self: the ego. The ego is excellent at lying. We only ever lie to ourselves and we do this as a means of self-preservation. We defend ourselves against the potential harm of lies, when we acknowledge, our aloneness. Knowledge removes fear.

Allow me to give you further example of the protective nature of lies. I work closely with a compulsive liar. She lies as a means of protecting her ego. Her ego is in fact extremely fragile. The person in question has been placed in a position of authority that well exceeds her abilities (resources). As a means of compensating for this, her opinions and conversation, are always laced with lies. This is now at the point that nearly everything she says seems made up. I’ve stopped hearing almost everything she says to me. I once saw a T-shirt with the words: “I’m not hearing a word you’re saying to me, I’m just smiling and nodding in all the right places, in the hope this works.” That’s the place I’m in with the lairs of liars. I barely hear a word anyone says to me.

Main Point:

As in childhood, the ego will recognise lack of resources and compensate for this, through lies. Some never grow out of the need to tell lies, because they’ve never grown out, of childhood. Sound familiar? Do you know anyone like this? Are there some – on the world stage right now – who need to tell lies, because their child-mind needs to protect itself?  

We must now understand:

“It’s not so much truth, that sets us free, it’s the fact only the free, speak it. Freedom is when you’re no longer afraid”

The Locksmith #8 (Distracted By The Human Condition)

The Human Condition

The Locksmith had watched Emily leave the room, waited for Lord Harry (the little terrier dog) to return, before closing his eyes again. It took just a few moments for him to gain his composure.

Human behaviour often amazed, shocked, saddened and sometimes even amused The Locksmith.

It wasn’t so much unexpected – to hear the tales such as the one just recounted by Emily – it was more about how it made him feel. It was disappointing to him, that so many people didn’t see the deeper side of their behaviour; the real purpose to it.

Ultimately, it didn’t so much matter that their behaviour was destructive to themselves and others – time heals after all – it mattered that so many seemed ambivalent to it all. For he understood, when there’s indifference or ambivalence to anything, change will be slow, or fail altogether.

He understood how human indifference wasn’t necessarily their state of mind to begin with, for him though, it developed rather too quickly.

The perpetrators of harm rarely gave though to the damage they caused. Abusive acts, be they physical or emotional, were carried out with such disregard, it saddened him. This lack of empathy and consideration for others was what also amazed. How have they made it this far? He would puzzle.

He experienced equal measure of amazement and sadness, for how people had such low regard for themselves, and their lives. Life can be so beautiful when one takes a moment to stop. And to have such lack of regard for others, was often a clear reflection of the low regard they held for themselves, and all life in general.

All these unloved children, with empty souls, seeking what they lacked.

The Locksmith also understood, the self-centered nature of human children, often never left them. Was being taught ‘out’ of this, through educating children about the dangers of self-centeredness, being overlooked? He would meditate on such questions. If the only concern, is for satisfaction of the self, humans will begin to lose the very thing that’s made them so successful: Their togetherness. His mind would answer the questions. It was the questions that mattered.

It seemed to him, that the need for power and control over each other, remained at the heart of so many of their troubles. The playground games, of winning or losing favour with each other, was a constant. Taking sides, building allegiances; general bullying and tittle-tattle was also there. All games created by the children seeking power, attention, and above all, love.

At times it became a distraction for him. His awareness of this was an annoyance.

He did have better things to be thinking of. For example, what was the nature of the seed he’d been sent here to plant? He knew it had a lot to do with the human concept of love. A flawed concept, though it was.

When something isn’t universally understood, it becomes a struggle to find it’s true power, as confusion tends to defuses it. His thoughts often concluded with the realisation of it flawed nature, yet he was always soothed, by its usefulness. It is the best they’ve come up with, to explain their feelings, he would surmise.

Having regained his composure his thoughts returned to Emily. Dear, dear Emily. Such a lonely child. Could he not say the same about all the people he’d met?

Reaching out to her again he sensed her pain ebbing. In his mind’s eye, he saw her walked away, back to a life, better understood. He knew the whole purpose to her life was love, just not one, she yet fully understood. The sooner the better he thought.

Slaves to Our Thoughts

Slaves to our lies
We’re all Slaves to Our Thoughts

“To a greater or lesser degree there is not one of us who isn’t operating on a system that enslaves us. The question is: to what extent has this system being designed by you, the individual?”

The word mentality is a very general term used to describe a particular kind of system, or set, of one’s mind. For example, an expression such as: ‘a working class mentality’ is a very general term used to describe the kind of thinking, or system of beliefs and thoughts, adopted by those of the working classes.

Further examples would be: victim mentality, average mentality, liberal, conservative, we could go on. Suffice to say, the type of thinking that binds us – or creates a sense of freedom for that matter – can be described as our mentality. 

“Many, with certain mentalities, enslave themselves with a paradox. It’s a paradox to think our beliefs free us, when the reality is, they enslave us” 

When it comes to being paradoxically bound by our mentality we can think of one clear example of this:  Consider those who’ve dropped out of society.

In the first instance, the act of dropping out of society, is seen as rebellious. Potentially it’s also considered a means of escape from a system of enslavement. What those who drop out from society don’t fully realise is, they’re simply swapping one set of beliefs or mentality, for another. Neither actually sets them free.

“Rich or poor neither are free whilst driven to fulfill beliefs unknown

We could go as far as to say, none of us are truly free until we’re free of all belief systems that dictate a certain behaviour, or indeed dictate our expectations, on life. Even the Buddhists, who see their beliefs as a form of escape from suffering, still suffer by their beliefs. Another binding paradox.

Slaves to Our Thoughts

I say this because lacking a belief in identity actually separates us into a group of people with a certain mentality. This, in itself, creates identity. It’s impossible to be free from thoughts whilst we’re alive and it’s these thoughts that enslave us. Perhaps, in this respect, life is a form of enslavement.

Slaves to Heaven and Earth

That last statement might sound a little negative, however, that isn’t the intention. The intention is to highlight the fact, even if we consider ourselves free individuals, we’re never truly this way. The trick though, is to get as close to freedom as possible, whilst being fully alive, living a full life.

“We could ask at this stage: What is a full life?”

The easiest way to achieve a sense of freedom is to simply question what our true intentions are from words and/or actions. For example, dropping out of society might be seen as a form of escape and/or rebellion, yet, what is such a person truly looking to achieve? What are they truly looking to escape from? Who are they truly looking to hurt through their rebellion? Is it conforming they want to escape from? Is it a neglectful parent they’re looking to hurt? Is it all a game for attention?

“When we think about it, we only ever conform to a certain kind of mentality, and a rebellious nature is a mentality that enslaves, through type”

The whole point of this post is firstly to create alternative, higher thinking, and secondly, to raise the awareness, that it’s what we bring our minds to; what we choose to think about, that dictates our life and the experiences within it.

“We could all have a much smoother journey when we realise the importance of being true to ourselves”

Now, going back to the earlier question: what is a full life? We can say that a full life is lived when we’re living true to ourselves. We find our true selves when we begin to question the authenticity and usefulness of our beliefs.

Slaves to Our Thoughts

We can know that none of our beliefs are original – we’ve learnt them all from somewhere, somehow or from someone – and so being true to ourselves, is really achieved when we consciously choose what we ‘want’ to believe. The unconscious only ‘must’ believe all and everything within it. You might want to read that again.

“So many of our beliefs have been instilled at a time when we we were naive or ignorant to their provenance and value”

Let’s finish by opening up the question of what you actually believe freedom is: What is freedom to you?

The Ego, Fragile Ego

Games of The Fragile Ego

The Ego, Fragile Ego

As a comfortable follow on from yesterday’s post, it’s most appropriate now, to talk more about how the ego seeks to boost and protect itself.

Defensiveness is potentially the most obvious method of protection. Being antagonistic, contradictory and generally argumentative, is a common form of defence. The ego must do this in order to protect what it holds dear. It’s only when we’re aware of this tendency, do we become aware of its limitations: the more we defend our position, opinion and beliefs, the less likely it is, we’ll advance and mature.

A fragile ego will be the most defensive. Low self-esteem is the symptom of a fragile ego. Those who live with such a mind are the most defensive of all. Once we become aware, of how our defensive nature, ultimately only adds to the fragility of our self-esteem, do we begin the process of change. Getting through to such a person is a different matter entirely though. It’s okay for the likes of you and I to understand this, but getting this message across in a subtle and successful manner to others, takes dexterity and cleverness. Paradoxically a fragile ego is the hardest to accept change.

The reason it’s the hardest to influence is because of its fragility. Let me explain further. Imagine an animal trapped in a snare. It’s still alive. Perhaps it’s only trapped by one of its hind legs. If we were to approach such an animal, we’d be in danger of getting hurt ourselves. It would be frightened and fighting for its life. In fact, because an animal in such a position is unable to escape, it will be forced to resort to the fight part of the fight or flight principle. An animal that’s trapped, is in a fragile position, to say the least.

“It follows in the same light, that a human being that’s trapped – by its narrow and limited scope of thinking – will, in order to protect itself, fight in the only way it knows how.”

The way in which this is achieved is myriad. Defensiveness has already been mentioned. Let’s talk now, about games of the ego.

Once again, the purpose of the whole exercise, be it games or defensiveness, is to protect. The ego must protect what you are. The ego protects the very fabric of what you are: your beliefs. Individuals who are neither defensive or game players have established something very important: they’ve come to understand the unnecessary and limiting nature of defensiveness and gameplay. Their ego has grown.

“Because of this, they’ve matured to the point that their ego no longer needs to defend itself; it is no longer fragile; it’s the animal set free from the snare. This has been achieved through awareness and maturity.”

So, the alternative to a free individual, is a snared game player. I’m going to leave you with one example of this kind of gameplay. The game of: I’ll like, follow or comment on your blog, simply because my ego needs to boost itself, through your interest in return.

Potentially the player of this game doesn’t have any interest whatsoever in what you have to say, and is only interested in the potential rewards, from their pretence. This is the work of a fragile ego. Never be confused here. A big ego is more likely to acknowledge any positive change they might see or hear suggested. 

And so, the player of this game learns nothing, whilst they remain stuck within it. Social media is the platform, or playground, and it’s something to watch out for. Don’t get pulled into this game because you just might become infected. It’s a nasty game and a nasty habit. Like many bad habits, they can end up, in control of you.

Freedom Costs Nothing

Many of us believe that if we just had a little more money we’d be freer. We think that if we only had enough money to set up that business, or establish some kind of higher status in the world, all would be well. The truth is, freedom, has nothing to do with these things.

Clarity of mind:

“This can be achieved through a meditative state. During this state, we must look to drop everything from our minds, that we believe matters. When we’re able to do this, we clearly understand: freedom occurs when we shed the layers of confusion brought about through conflicting beliefs.”

freedom
Freedom Costs Nothing

“The common man is indoctrinated into his expectations of life.”

A very broad and general system of beliefs we’re given, comes as a consequence of our environment, during childhood. For example, when young, what made our parents happy? This is easy to answer, because most times all we need do, is ask ourselves what makes us happy. Happiness, and most importantly what makes us happy, is a learned behaviour.

“By questioning our ‘learned’ behaviour we escape many of the shackles previous generations have taught us. Paradoxically, many of the means we use to seek happiness, actually enslave us.”

It goes without saying, happiness, well-being and safety, are important to us all. How we find these things varies from individual to individual. One individual might feel free, well, happy and safe when he’s in the local betting shop, placing a months wages on a horse, whereas another, may feel free and safe sitting in his favourite chair, with his family around him, watching a good movie after a hard days work.

“Yet another person, who has questioned the types of systems we’ve developed to make us happy, may feel all these things when sitting alone on a beach.”

True happiness is achieved when we free ourselves from the illusions created through learned behaviour. When we take the time to really think about it, happiness is a state of mind, effortlessly achieved, when we have balance. A Buddhist monk for example, may well tell you: happiness is achieved through realising the now moment. How easy would life be, if we we’re able to achieve happiness (a state of contentment) through simply being aware, of our breathing! In those moments, would we be enslaved by all the ‘trappings’ of life we’re taught to believe we need, in order to be happy?

“It may seem difficult to believe and accept, the most effective route to the true happiness freedom brings, will include: Creativity, Change, Challenge and Variety. All of which, can cost us, nothing.”

It’s worth considering a different route, to what you believe may help you feel happier, before seeking investment in that business. It’s only ever the ego (the best creator of illusions there ever was) that seeks a higher status in life, and is often driven by fear. Do we fear not seeming good enough? Our fears enslave us.

In addition to all this, raised self-esteem, is something we attach to happiness. The assumption is: low self-esteem equals unhappy. It’s certainly the case, if we’ve found activities – from learning martial arts to having sex – help with building our self-esteem, we feel happier when doing them. However when this is the case, we’re also working to the same mistaken principle: happiness comes from outside of us. This belief is our weakness.

Freedom
Small Diamonds Are Used To Change Big Things

We raise our self-esteem from the inside out. For example, if a child is small and weaker than his classmates, the solution will often be seen as something external. With this in mind, is learning martial arts the answer? High self-esteem will only be achieved during the hand chopping, board breaking classes. He’ll still potentially grow up to have low self-esteem in many other aspects of his life. If he never questions the belief: small and weak, he’ll remain this way on the inside forever.

“Now he has his ‘black belt’ what if he were drawn to a violent lifestyle or adopted a confrontational approach to others?”

Would this be a useful way to get through life? Far better to change how he feels about himself on the inside. We do this through helping him deal with his emotions in a gentle way, and then question his beliefs about size: small is efficient, small diamonds are used to change big things, and so on.

The paradox is this: The greater the happiness – found through our archaic beliefs – the more enslaved we become.

Happiness is found through the things that help us feel less afraid; when we can fight we’re less fearful; when we own we’re less fearful. The bigger the car, or the house or whatever – now we have the black belt – the safer we feel; all paradoxical. We really do live in a world that’s a mirror reflection of the true one. When we step out of this mirror – through shedding the confused conditioning of our beliefs – we’re able to see the ridiculous nature of the world we’ve created. Only then, will we find the freedom, that costs nothing.

Buddhism: Is this the Answer to Inequality, Poverty, and Injustice?

Solutions

“If you’ve ever reached a point in your life, where you seem unable to find the solution, to calming your reactions to the everyday struggles of life, you may find yourself turning to Buddhism.”

The reason I say this, is because the belief systems associated with Buddhism, and its many divisions, give us all an excuse, or reason, to simply cease the struggle and quest to reach a better meaning to our lives. If we’re to seek greatness, and leave some kind of legacy for the benefit of humanity, Buddhism must be rejected, just as Buddhism seems to reject humanity itself.

Non-attainment, non-attachment, the belief in ‘emptiness’ – that we have no identity and are simply all as one with no individuality – that life is suffering, due to our constant craving for more stimulation and more of the things that make us feel, are all within the remit of Buddhism. As such, the often seen images of laughing Buddhists, are a contradiction in themselves. Laughter is an antidote to guilt and fear, emotions the successful Buddhist, would never carry.

There are many contradictions throughout life if we look for them. It could be said, any good philosopher is likely to be filled with contradictions, as this is due process to his craft, as such, contradictions can be beneficial to some. However, when a belief system claims to be the path to Nirvana (death and freedom from suffering), or in the case of Christianity, Heaven (something better than life) is filled with contradictions, the only word that comes to mind is hypocrisy. And once we see hypocrisy, this is reason enough, to dismiss it, entirely.

“If we’re not very cautious, the need to escape struggles, and find greater meaning, becomes the need to escape life and our humanity altogether.”

Frustration is a necessary means to seek the solution. Without the emotion of frustration we will fail to advance. Without wanting to free our minds from our negative emotions: frustration, or fear, or guilt, for that matter, we simply fail to want betterment. To just exist for the sake of existing; to just wake everyday, eat, work and then sleep, is to be half dead. If we fail to feel – even if these feelings are considered negative – we fail to advance.

“I cannot imagine for a moment, if all of humanity were to adopt the beliefs of Buddhism, or any spiritual ‘way’ or ‘path,’ for that matter, that we’d advance beyond the death of our star.”

We may have been born here, yet I refuse to believe, we’re meant to die here. I believe we must strive to understand our minds better – in terms of the need for our emotions – rather than look to be less of a human through believing life is suffering.

We may suffer for a short while, until we realise, that suffering, is in fact, a choice. We choose to seek the solutions, because we suffer, without suffering, we’re nothing. It is simply unacceptable to say the solution to feeling frustration is to remove it by ceasing betterment. 

It may seem an odd interpretation (that there is purpose to suffering) however it’s a similar situation to the child who has little control over their emotions. From moment to moment they seem to shift: happy and giggling one moment, crying and screaming the next. It’s our job, as adults, to help the children temper and tame their unruly emotions. We do this through better understanding their purpose. For example, if we fail to be angry, at the injustice and inequality in the world, we fail to change it.

With this said:

“The elite are likely to be very happy with Buddhist beliefs because it excuses their inability, or unwillingness, to do anything truly constructive about inequality and injustice. To encourage spiritual ‘ways,’ I feel, is to fail. This relates to my revulsion to sentimentality: it helps no one.”

The availability of modern medicine, clean water and good education, will never become a global phenomena, when we continue to encourage charity and sentimentality. The belief systems that seek a solution to poverty and inequality, by simply rejecting our humanity, are just as ineffective in the long term.

Alternatively, encouraging the adoption of belief systems, that give us all purpose to strive onward, and indeed upward, are the solutions to encouraging advancement.

We will never achieve true greatness when there are parts of the world where people remain with limited access to clean drinking water, or modern medicines, or where billions are trapped, living in abject poverty, with a fortunate few having control over all the wealth. We must see this as unacceptable.

“We will never have true greatness when we fail to follow good examples of leadership.”

We will never have true greatness, whilst parents continue to believe it’s okay to have lackadaisical attitudes, to their responsibilities, to a fellow human being. Inequality continues to exist when we fail to feel and empathise in a constructive way.

Solutions

Once we’re all consciously aware of our real, meaningful purpose (to improve the quality of life for all and to become the masters of our minds and environment), our first objective must be equality. Without this we continue to carry the limiting guilt associated. We could all just laugh about it though, and then carry on as normal. Or better still, watch a sentimental documentary or news report, and be guilted into giving some cash to charity.

“You see, guilt, as with anger, can be used in a positive, constructive way when we better understand it.”

Charity is in direct opposition to equality and will only ever be a short term fix to our guilt. Properly understand the purpose of our emotions, and we make permanent, constructive changes. Reject that which rejects your humanity.

Only Just Getting to Know You

You may have seen the film 50 First Dates. I though it was a beautiful film. If you’ve not seen it, and you’re curious, you can read about it here

“Imagine for a moment what it would feel like to wake up every morning with no past (and as such, no future) and only the now moment. You have some very well defined understandings of life, and what you’re supposed to be doing with it, and yet the past has no influence on today, whatsoever. What would you do?”

In addition, imagine having no sense of self. In other words, imagine how it would feel to have no sense of an identity whatsoever. The only identity you’d be able to give yourself, is what you’re actually doing, in any one given moment. For example, if you’re currently drinking a class of water, and someone were to ask you, who you are? All you’d be able to tell them is this: drinking a class of water.

“Beg pardon, I asked you, who are you?”

“That’s right and I repeat my response: drinking a class of water”

“Take a moment … remember, you’re imagining there is no I. No such thing as an I in you. You have no identity, all you know is you’re alive, conscious and there’s someone asking you a silly question.”

In fact, so clear are you on this concept – of there being no I – that anyone meeting you, would have no clue whatsoever, of how to take you. They’d fail to work you out, and only succeed in transferring who they are, on to you. You have no I so no one can ever know who you truly are. Make sense? Can you imagine this? Well here’s the bastard of it all: that’s you that is.

In other words – and this will really bake your cookie – it truly is impossible for anyone to ever know any other human being, because all that you and they are, doesn’t in fact exist at all in any testable reality. It’s only ever a projection of what you believe you and they are. A belief is not a true reality, it’s only a belief, and beliefs, whether you believe it or not, escape reality.

The reality is you’ll never know who you, or I truly are. There is no I.

To make this clearer. Answer this question: Who are you?

You’ll no doubt have answered with: I’m Fred or Tony or Michael or Sarah or whatever and so this is not actually telling me who you are. All you’ve done is tell me your name. In fact it’s impossible for you to tell me who you are, because who, doesn’t exist. You can tell me your name, what you do, what you like etc. and yet you’ll never be able to explain to me who you actually are.

Perhaps, the way to play it smart though, is to answer with this: I am the sum total of my beliefs.

Cleaver? No, not really, because you weren’t born believing who you are, so to say: I am, is in fact to say: they are. You and your beliefs came from circumstances and those beliefs of others. In other words, life taught you who, yet life,  is your past. Forget your past and where does this place you?

In a beautiful place full of opportunity and choice. So remember to forget now. Who did you say you are?