“It seems, whatever’s going on in life, it’s just a repetition of something that’s happened before”
The same old news over and over again. We ask a work colleague how things are and the response is: “oh you know, same old, same old.” Is it time to get out of this cycle? Is it time to do something different? The expression is: ‘If you always do what you’ve always done then you’ll always get what you’ve always got,’ and if what you’re getting is frustration, confusion and disappointment, the solution lies in change.
Let’s say you don’t feel that something is working. However unrealistic your expectations might be, if there’s nothing happening in response to your investments of time and energy, a rethink is surely needed. Perhaps the first step is making expectations realistic. What are the underlying reasons for this? Do we need to face a reality the mind would prefer not see?
For example, it could well be, the underlying reason something isn’t working, is a fear that it will. If we ask ourselves: “what do I see myself doing when this is working?” And the answer is: “I see a lot of pain and upheaval in the near future,” potentially and because of this, the mind will look to sabotage our efforts. Are unrealistic expectations, that lead to frustration and disappointment, simply a method the mind is using to avoid the hassle of the inevitable upheaval of change? An interesting question, is it not?
“The mind certainly has many means of defending itself when unwelcome change is involved”
We become creatures of habit because of the minds reluctance to deviate from what it’s comfortable with; from what it knows and understands. The mind is minimalist and looks to use the least amount of energy in any situation. The path of least resistance is habit. Mind will seek to keep us within our comfort zone and look to protect us from change that moves us beyond it.
Uncertainty is one of the biggest enemies to making the necessary decisions for change. When uncertainty is involved, again, we can see this as the mind’s way of keeping us stuck. If we don’t know which way to turn at the crossroads, the uncertainty of this will keep us sitting there, with the engine running, wasting time and energy. Some words of caution to follow. There are those who will teach us this uncertainty.
“Our decisions are constantly questioned by such people”
Our opinions and know-how always countermanded in some way. It’s one of the most common forms of emotional abuse. Those who want to keep us trapped teach us uncertainty to weaken our spirit. Picture an old man walking two paces behind his wife of 40 years. He’s half deaf and blind; the only escape. He has a wife who’s nagged, browbeaten him and questioned his assertive decisiveness for years; now he’s broken and weak. Perhaps it’s easier to picture a woman in similar circumstances. Either way, some people are very, very clever, at causing us to question and doubt our thoughts and actions.
“It’s cowardly for us to remain in such toxic relationships”
Further to this we then start to teach ourselves uncertainty with fear. We say: “What if it doesn’t work?” We say: “How can I stand to lose this money?” I say, get out of the cycle and live your life with this: