Someone to Look After You

Become a God Yourself

“Those of a religious persuasion are comforted in the knowledge there’s someone out there looking after them”

That there is a God, a higher force; an authority making decision and changing things for them. They believe they’re a product of this God, designed and put here, to do His bidding. For the religious, there is someone or something looking after them.

It doesn’t matter what hardships befalls the religious either because these things have been sent as a test. A means for them to prove themselves worthy of His approval; to be welcomed into his loving arms at a later time. Very reassuring and comforting I’m sure.

My own birth mother was a very religious woman. I understand the need she had for her beliefs and I also understand their consequences. She would wrap herself and those around her in a controlling blanket of guilt. So encapsulating was this guilt, it stifled and crippled us all. My total rejection of her faith, and my family in general, was the result of needing to free myself of a crippling past.

“Before she died my mother sent me an email with a video attachment”

No words, no subject, just the attachment. The video clip was one of those ‘guaranteed-easy-get-rich’ schemes. It went on for ages telling me how rich I’d get by following their ‘remarkable’ trading system. No actual information, just a sales pitch: images of a rich man going about his business getting out of large cars and into private jets. After ten minutes of this tawdry twaddle I switched it off. In my mind there’s no such thing as ‘easy get rich.’ Unless you win the lottery that is, but where’s the fun in that?

“Anyway, having thought about things, I understand why my mother sent it”

It was so strange. After having little or no contact with my family for over ten years, I receive a video, telling me how to get rich. As mentioned earlier, I fully understand the beliefs my mother held, and so now realise the get rich video was sent as a means of ensuring we never meet in heaven. She was sincerely hoping I did get rich. For a rich man can never enter the gates of heaven.

And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly, I say to you, it will be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” When the disciples heard this they were greatly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?” But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”  

On reflection, and knowing what she believed, it would stand as a vile and cruel thing to send someone who held the same beliefs. A kind of curse if you will. It’s fortunate that my beliefs are a little more practical. Besides, if you’d like to follow what Jesus said, all you need do, is become a God yourself. Plenty have. “With God all things are possible.”

“You see, I don’t believe in heaven existing anywhere else, other than the here and now”

In fact, whilst being very much alive, it’s possible for anyone to experience heaven. All you need do is sit on a cushion, legs crossed, eyes mostly closed, mouth slightly open with your tongue tucked neatly behind your two front teeth. Now all you need is to quieten your mind by gently focusing on your breathing. Heaven is experienced when you’re truly in the now moment, with no cares, no worries, no expectations, no awareness of the past or the future, just now, just breathe. Now is all that matters. There is heaven.

Become a God Yourself

When I think of the religious; such lonely people, it makes me a little sad. Often when I think of the billions crying out for someone to look after them, a small, salty tear, rolls down my cheek. Their abject refusal to grow up and take care of themselves, and stop wondering about who might do this for them, is staggering in its blind temerity.

“Thankfully there are billions of other people who know the truth of their situation”

The majority understand: If they don’t take charge and responsibility for themselves, some other humanwill look to do this for them. For those in the know, that prospect, is hell on earth. Hell on earth is created when we stumble around leaving things to imaginary Gods. The chances are, if you wait long enough, something good will happen in your life. The religious will put this down to God. I put this down to mathematics.

Do the maths and help yourself get ahead with additional, practical, thinking tools. Become one of the Gods. You can apply using this form.

The Curious Nature of Money

The Curious Nature of Money

“Looking closely at money does seem to open up more questions than answers”

Even so, questions are important, and discussing money, so we can lose some of the potential stress and misunderstandings surrounding it, will be of great value (excuse the pun).

Often when seeking to understand money, we’re given advice and guidance that relates directly to its management: how best to save, invest, earn etc. All well and good, however, there is something of fundamental importance, that’s often overlooked: The Psychology.

The Curious Nature of Money

Time and money bear a close correlation. For example, we want that new car, bike or pair of shoes, but don’t currently have the cash available. So rather than waiting, until we’ve saved enough, we borrow. Buy now pay later. You might think fair enough. If we’re prepared to pay the interest on the loan, we’re able to enjoy the goods now, rather than later. But what is the psychology behind this thinking.

“What is buy now pay later really all about. Is this a lack of patience? Is it just a social thing? Or is it that our wants are greater than our needs?”

I’m able to compare my own experience of being young and broke with someone who is currently just starting out in life. When I was sixteen I didn’t have the cash to buy the moped I desperately needed, so, with my father acting as guarantor, I borrowed. It turned out to be a mistake – I borrowed more than I could afford – and my father had been foolish to allow it. He’d been unable to advise me otherwise. In comparison, I’m aware of a young man who, even though his earning capacity is restricted, has successfully managed to save enough money to buy his first moped. He’s also now saving for his next bike; a bigger one. He has no debt. To be able to put the words young and patient together, in the same sentence, is a very rare thing.

“We can know this is down to several potential factors”

Firstly he hasn’t been able to borrow money (no guarantor) or secondly he’s been cleverly advised out of it. The chances are, his beliefs – formed from advice and experience – have created a positive time/money correlation. In other words, he’s learned patience in its respect.

Home Ownership

Of course saving for a moped is one thing, yet buying a house for example, would be an entirely different matter. With the property market as it is, it would be nigh on impossible for the average person to ever save enough to buy one outright. He or she would be so old, by the time they’d saved enough, that they’d never have the chance to enjoy it. Plus we have the problem of house prices always increasing way above the rate of pay increases. And isn’t that a curious thing? The gap between the rich and the poor ever increasing do you think?

“Anyway Let’s Not Get Distracted!”

That last paragraph does all hinge on our beliefs relating to home ownership. Provided we’re able to find a decent landlord we can be quite happy renting. If you’ve no concerns over leaving inheritance to family members (or cat charities,) then owning your own home, is in fact a bit of a nonsense. We can all be sold on the idea of having no mortgage in retirement, but that can be offset, with the belief that retirement is a complete nonsense too. Retire from what? There are many ways we can stay as wage earners in old age. Society actually requires input from the older generation. This is in much the same way children (mostly) benefit from knowing grandparents.

The Curious Nature of Money

We could go on and on with the debate over money, yet there is one simple answer to removing much of the stress surrounding it. I touched on this earlier. It’s that thing of our wants being greater than our needs. Once we can reach a point in our lives where our wants match our needs we’ll be in a favourable position. The sooner the better. This is the time/money correlation in its essence.

“Doing this involves some cleverness”

If, at the age of sixteen, I’d been a little more canny and wise to the world, I could have avoided much of the stress and difficulties I’ve experienced ever since. If someone had said to me:

“Look kiddo, here’s the thing, you’re being fucked over by your own wants and your wanting is being driven by your beliefs on happiness.”

“Right now you believe the only root to your happiness is that moped, right? Okay, so what would need to happen for you to find this freedom and happiness without it?”

That last question would certainly be a mind-bomb for the average sixteen year old. It would probably be the case, that suggestions from someone I believed in and respected, would’ve been necessary. Perhaps, if such a person had introduced me to an inexpensive hobby, things would have worked out differently. Perhaps, if it’d been explained – in clear and simple terms – that happiness and freedom must begin in the mind, and never outside of it, things would have been very different.

The Curious Nature of Money

All in all, there’s no getting away from the facts of life: We will always need sufficient money to cater for our basic needs and independence. Without that we’ve no chance of happiness, and to add to our misery, illness is potentially around every corner.

“So to close”

Hopefully this has opened up your mind a little to the subject in hand. I would question the belief that money buys happiness. Without our basic needs being met, we’ll be unhappy, that’s a given. However, our attitude of mind, mentality and belief system, has great bearing on the amount of stress and unhappiness we might experience around the subject. It’s really worth pondering on the time/money correlation. Surly it’s the case, the wiser we are and the sooner we find this wisdom, the happier we will be from the offset?

You can find out more on beliefs through workshop attendance and by typing in the search word ‘beliefs’ into the appropriate box. Your application form can be found here.


A Beautiful Li(F)e

“Gaining a beautiful life has nothing to do with status, equality, or justice”

A beautiful life is gained when we’re raised by adults who empower us through their love. Their empowering love manifests itself through a burning desire to teach us how to be fully grown. Being educated and informed, as to the ways of the world, and entering adulthood with our eyes open, means we’re properly equipped, to see through the lies.

Inequality is the result of beliefs held by the individual and the level of their dependence created through ignorance. The uneducated, ignorant individual, can do nothing about inequality. The educated man will see it for what it truly is: The belief in have or have not. The main thing the educated man truly wants and needs – to live a beautiful life – is a family and an empowering love, driving him, to raise our children to be fully grown adults. A beautiful cycle.

“Justice and injustice are a fallacy”

There is no such thing as justice. Where there is no justice there is no injustice. We have peace of mind, and resolution to the wrongs inflicted upon us, when we fully understand the need for painful lessons in life. Seeking justice, instead of understanding, keeps us as children wanting an immature vengeance. We’re taught: In order to ease our pain, we must cause more.

“The response to pain, from an adult love, is the search for understanding”

The parents of a brain dead child, fighting to keep him artificially alive, do this due to their inability to see the rights of the child as being greater than their own. When we, as a species, see the rights of the child, as always being greater than ours (by default), we will evolve into the loving beings we’re (possibly) destined to become.

“If we’re going to award a child the right to life, we must also be prepared to offer this same child, the right to die. The fact we need a court of law, to decide this for us, is absurd”

Parents, who have no model or concept of what it means to be fully grown, are constantly fighting a battle with themselves. They are quite literally fighting for control over their emotions and powerful will of their inner child. They cannot stand to let go of a child they believe to be their property. The child does not belong to them it belongs to itself. We can empathise with their suffering, yet how can we possibly display sympathy, for parents who are prepared to put their needs (to be free of suffering) before the rights of the child? The paradox, is now the courts have instructed them to allow the child to die in peace, their suffering will end.

“The worlds beliefs in money, equality and justice, will change, once we’re free from the suppression of ignorance”

True freedom is the ability to question the beliefs and expectations of others. Amongst many other things, the mature parent, is able to teach the child power of choice. They ask: “If you choose this option what will the possible outcomes be? Are those outcomes something you want?”

Contact Us if you need to know more about freeing yourself from limiting beliefs.    

Passion and Gentle Meanderings


“I think of time as being a little like money. We spend time and we spend money, and I realise, if we stop thinking about either one, we can lose track of them.”

Thinking and obsessing are two different things. If we obsess about either time or money we can end up using them inefficiently. If we worry about running out of time or worry about running out of money, potentially, this causes us to stop using them wisely. Like the wealthy landlord I see visiting charity shops, we might become miserly, or we might run around like headless chickens, thinking this will help us make the most of what we have. Both are wasteful. Ponder.

Examining time more closely, or what we focus on within our time to be more specific, helps us understand how the process of focusing on one goal, can have the effect of improving others we’ve become less conscious of.

For example, if your attention were focused on fixing up a house, it’s possible, this could help other aspects of your life run smoother; those things that are better run on autopilot. Things, that if constantly attended to on a conscious level, would actually fall apart. Letting go a little, often helps, rather than hinders.

Consider the lives of people who have passion. Passion that takes up much of their time and money. Does this passion improve their lives? Of course there is a fine line; some people have passions that are so all consuming, their home lives suffer as a result. So there must be balance.

The same goes with money. I considered how it might feel to win over one hundred million on the lottery. And I realised I really wouldn’t want the responsibility. It would remove so much of the challenge of life, to such an extent, that it may end up not being worth living at all. It may well end up ruining my life, as it would, and has, for so many others.

Too much time and/or too much money are likely to create more problems than they solve. If you were going to live forever, with all the money you could ever possibly spend, what would you do? You’d certainly need a passion, but then of course, you wouldn’t consider time or money as particularly important, would you? You wouldn’t if that passion were a wholesome one.

With this in mind, it’s important to remember: Once you’ve fixed up your house, you’ll then need to find a new one. Having said this, some houses, especially the older ones, do need constant love and attention.

Do you understand?

The Borrowers (And round and round we go)

“And so here we are again. Today the bank of England has warned lenders that they’re putting themselves at risk, through the amounts they’re lending, as personal debt is on the rise again.”


It’s estimated the average UK borrower now has a level of personal debt to the tune of £30,000. Car finance has reached unprecedented levels, and it’s estimated over eight million people are now dependent on credit, just to get by. From food to rent, without credit, these eight million people would potentially go hungry and homeless. Should we worry about debt? No, we shouldn’t worry about the debt. What we do need to worry about though – or at the very least really start thinking about – is why so many of us are falling into this situation again.


The answer to why, is something many of us could easily find: we’re living beyond our means spending to find happiness. It’s the vicious cycle of needing to spend to find happiness, only to then find unhappiness due to how hard we need to work, just to maintain the debt. Once again lenders have us all by the balls, or if you want to look at it another way, gender-neutral, nipple clamps.

Nipple Clamps

This vicious cycle is of course driven by excessive consumerism. I know that I’m running the risk of sounding boring by going over this ground again, however, someone somewhere may gain the advantage through reading this: STOP LIVING BEYOND YOUR FUCKING MEANS!

Yes, I used to do the very same thing, and I know why: I was a desperately lonely drunk, who was not only addicted to the booze, but also spending money to buy the things, I believed, would help me feel powerful and happy. In the long term, all the booze and possessions did, was prove to me how drunk and lonely I was. And of course, in the end, broke.

It’s about taking a long hard look at what methods we’re using to find happiness, or at the very least, some escape from our unhappiness. We could tackle this by asking ourselves: how is it we’re unhappy? Or we could address what we need to do to find happiness, that doesn’t cost us more, than we actually earn. I feel the best method is is to deal with both.


Firstly happiness is of course relative: what makes one person happy would potentially have no bearing on someone else. Bird watching or golf might bore the tits of you for example, whereas partying at festivals, might really get your juices flowing. Perhaps age has a lot to do with these kinds of preferences, and yet true happiness, has potentially nothing to do with how we spend our free time. True happiness must have more to do with our predominate state of mind that manifests through adopting a more creative lifestyle, that cost little.


A sense of contentment, I believe, has a lot to do with happiness. You know, things like: a stable home environment, loving relationships, and work we find tolerable, or even enjoyable at times, must help build this feeling of contentment.

Also a positive mental attitude surely goes a long way to helping us feel happy. The kind of attitude that helps us see the pleasant side of any job, or mind state that enables us to tolerate those things we dislike in life, must be important. When it comes to asking: how do we do our unhappiness? Or: How do I find unhappiness? This must have a lot to do with our (too high) expectations of life, and perhaps lack of stability, healthy relationships and love etc, etc; all the opposites of contentment I suppose.

We spend to find some kind of reward for the unhappiness we’re experiencing in life. We’re creating our unhappiness through our discontentment. We need the possessions everyone else has – as we buy into the illusion sold by the media – that they’re happy and powerful (and yes we all need to turn the fucking TV off!). And so, ultimately, the more debt we have, the greater our sense of being trapped and discontented, and so the cycle goes on.

The cure, as you might have already guessed, is discomfort. Yes, that’s right, the cure is the discomfort we’re likely to feel at the transition from the illusions of our childish expectations, to the grown up realities of life. These grown-up realities are all about recognising how we do unhappiness. How are we keeping ourselves trapped in the vicious loops that ultimately make us feel unhappy? What must we recognise about our lives, and what’s lacking from them, so we may step out of the excessive consumption loop?


Even though these realities may make us feel briefly uncomfortable, the long term goal, will be reached. The long term goal is the ability to separate ourselves from the illusions we harbour – that help us avoid the harsh realities of life. When we embrace discomfort we will fully realise true happiness. The happiness we currently seek is only a form of avoidance. We cannot avoid the truth for ever, in the end, it always catches up with us. Face the truth and of course we set ourselves free.


Take the Easy Route

“​Today is going to be filled with good news, yep good news all around, and I’m going to start with a blinder (or eye opener depending on your perspective)”


This good news I’m sharing with you, starts to take real effect, when we help each other shatter some very limiting beliefs and illusions. The first illusion I’m going to help you remove (so you may help others) is the one concerning comfort and ease.

Currently most of us believe we are living a life that is built on making our experience of it as comfortable as possible, that is to say, the system – or patterns of thinking we’re following –  are the one’s designed to make life easy and comfortable.

To expand, consider what is meant by the term ‘Social Norms.’ Fitting in with social norms means we’re following the path of least resistance, and as such, you may think this is the easiest way to live life: to fit in.

There is the illusion, right there. What if the reality, of the social norms most of us are living under, were in fact one of the most difficult ways of life? What, if the world we’ve built around ourselves, was in fact designed by a limited few, simply for their own comfort? What if the lives, the majority of us live out, were in fact the tedious trudge of struggling to find something that will always remain an illusion.

Think of the man working night shifts in a hotel. He calls into his local newsagent, every morning to spend a massive percentage of his wage on lottery tickets, in the hope of escaping his horrible life: illusion. Think of all the gentle souls wondering when it will be ‘their turn’ to get some kind of lucky break, a lucky break that involves happiness through money and lifestyle: illusion.

“It’s when we’re striving for equality – in this regard – that makes life hard. Chasing illusions is the hardest way to live and the easy path was the one we’ve been told to stay clear of. Social Norm?”

It’s my belief, the key to living a life to its fullest – and not necessarily form joy to joy or leisure to pleasure (like it or not, we must have some challenges and pain in life) – is freedom.

“The kind of freedom I’m talking of here is freedom of thought. When or thinking is expanded, beyond social norms, we’re then able to see the difficulties therein.”

In other words by questioning established patterns of thinking we free our minds to look elsewhere. Let me explain:

It’s often the case that those who drop-out from society are seen as living a very difficult existence. Images of sleeping rough, drinking problems, mental health issues etc. come to mind. What though, of those individuals who live outside social norms, and yet thrive? I’m talking, of course, about artists.

Those who live a creative life, and not just a life that has creativity in it, one that is creative as a whole, live freer lives. To put it another way, those who live their whole lives in a creative manner, live freer lives.

“To live creatively is to live against social norms, in fact, there are those who would say that social norms stifle creativity.”

At it’s base level, one of the most influential factors to living and thinking freely, is belief. Questioning beliefs, built by a system that favours the few, is where we must begin.

Consider how religious beliefs only truly favour the few. It’s those at the top of the hierarchical systems, built into religions, that are favoured. These people scam a seemingly effortless, comfortable life, at the expense of all others. This is achieved by maintaining control of the masses through fear and guilt.

These precious few, at the top of the religious hierarchical systems, continue to con us into believing they’re working for God. Be assured, they are not, they’re working for themselves.

“They’re self-employed decorators who constantly need to paint over the cracks of their lies, hypocrisy and deceit. I wouldn’t allow them near my house, would you?”

We believe in this when we’re kept in a system of control through fear and guilt that belongs in the past

Helping others question their beliefs is one of my missions in life. It continues here. Notice these two pictures:

We experience this when we believe life is about having
We experience this when we believe life is about giving

Once empowered through knowledge and understanding, what we choose to believe, can be up to us. All we need do, is begin to question where, when and how we learned what we believe. Our beliefs then become only something we believed back then, and in the present moment now. The future? The future is up to us and what we choose to make it.​

Image Credited To: Pinterest

Living a freer life, really can be this simple, when we think creatively.


The Hairy Successful

“It’s a question I’m continually asked: How exactly do successful people achieve their success?”

When you think of it, this particular post could be a very long, boring drawn out affair, however, with my particular penchant being for simplification, I reckon I can keep it interesting and relatively short.

During their childhood (bear with me) the majority of successful people have been shown some very simple principles. One, and potentially the most important, is the principle of how we all learn through example. Put simply, during childhood, successful people have been shown powerful examples.

These examples are from the adults around them. Of course, the most influential examples, are going to be from those closest to us. This is not to say that positive – or negative – examples, of how to succeed or survive (respectively) in life, have all been from parents. On the contrary, children are influenced in many ways, from many people.

“Predominantly negative examples are likely to lead us to surviving rather than thriving in life. If we see examples of lackadaisical, unimaginative people around us, there’s a strong likelihood, we’ll follow suit.”

Alternatively, experiencing positive examples from loving, imaginative and emotionally mature parents, leads us on to live lives full of love and creativity. You might think this obvious, yet surprisingly, poor parenting, from unenthusiastic adult-children, is not necessarily seen as the precursor to a miserable life; be assured, it is.

And so, there is one of the most important provisos for success: a happy childhood. Those of us raised by emotionally mature parents will always have the advantage over others. Let’s take the example of two very popular cooks here in the UK: The Hairy Bikers.

Straight away we can know that one of the main reasons The Hairy Bikers are popular, is because they’re cooks, and good ones at that. In addition to being good at dealing with food, they also come over as being two extremely grounded, and genuine people. They’re genuinely interested and love cooking good food. This is reflected in their jovial, light hearted manner and proficient cooking skills. They also exude love. They are social people. They are interested and passionate about what they do.


Another example of a genuine, passionate, social and loving cook, who adores what he does, is Jamie Oliver.

“Successful people are adult people, so much so, they often come over as children’s entertainers. The antics of The Hairy Bikers, for example, wouldn’t go amiss at a children’s party. You can be rest assured though, when it comes to business, they’re very grown up indeed.”

You simply cannot become a millionaire in childhood. When our thinking is still based on the poor examples we were shown in childhood, we’ll never be successful in the way we wish. We’ll be successful, but we’ll only be succeeding, at being the example of a human being, we were shown during childhood. Parents raise replicas of themselves, in fact, they make a point of it.

Once we know and understand this we can change. We can change through learning from the examples we see around us from successful adults. Many successful adults are merely exploiting a fact: we children need entertaining.

Be successful and entertain the children yourself, with good examples, by becoming an adult. Look around you: are the people you see emotionally mature, fully grown adults? If not, move on, and find some better examples. You may not have had any choice as a child, yet now you are grown, you can put away the things of childhood.


A Malevolent Smile

Were the Vikings evil? Or do we think them brave conquerors?

When it comes to personal beliefs, one thing I’ve always refused to believe in, is evil. It’s my belief that evil is often confused with fear or lack. Also, when we’re unable to explain away the actions of our fellow man, evil is often used as a ‘get-out-clause.’

“When we say: “What an evil person” this relieves us of our responsibility to the child they once were. We feel less guilt when we label certain individuals as evil.”

There is an important distinction for me to draw here: even though we may refuse to believe in evil, it doesn’t automatically follow, that the beliefs others may hold, doesn’t make evil relevant in the world today. In other words, others, who believe that evil exists, and indeed that it has a power, make evil, and the network of beliefs that built it, something that has force or energy. Believe in anything and we give that ‘anything’ energy.

Imagine you believed that evil has as much right, to be a relevant force here on earth, as the belief in love does. Imagine how it would be, believing the force of evil to be strong, and that following a path, the beliefs in evil dictate, will in fact get you all the things you desire here on earth. Imagine you believed that there was no such thing as love and that evil – inasmuch as self-centeredness is a correct way to be –  will award you a good if not fine standard of life.

“In fact, we don’t actually need to believe in evil at all, we simply need to lack the belief that it’s important to do the right thing by our fellow man, and that there is such a thing as the love of all people and love of truth.”

Is it not the case, that consideration for our fellow man, is borne of beliefs related to love? If we lack belief, this is simply as effective, as there actually being something like a force of evil.

Very recently I meet a famous individual. He’s very rich, very popular, flamboyant, and doesn’t shy away from exhibiting his wealth. Good luck to him you might say, and to some extent, I would agree. The only problem, I have with the financially wealthy though, are their lies. Be wealthy by all means, just don’t feel you need to protect yourself – or place yourself on some kind of pedestal – through lying. It is NOT money that makes wealthy people happy, it’s busy, creative lives, that does that. Never feed into the illusion, that wealthy people often project (to the young), that it’s their wealth making them happy.

“Buying into this illusion will ultimately lead to unhappiness, perhaps even despair. It’s no wonder so many of our young feel despairing. They’re being fooled by the lies of those who create illusion to maintain their popularity.”

Sure, money’s nice, it’s a lovely facilitator, however, some of the happiest people I’ve known in the past, would have been considered poor by modern standards. Believe it or not, the reason they, and those now like them, are happy and contented, is because they’re surrounded by love. It seems to me, that it can often be a one or the other situation: Love or Money; no doubt also a belief.

I feel we can take this slightly further than belief though. The reason I feel this way, is because of the evidence. If it’s simply the money you’re after, I really doubt you’ll be a happy, loving individual. Alternatively, if by consequence of being extremely good and happy with what you’re doing, you get rich, this is a different situation entirely.

Arriving by helicopter isn’t all it’s cracked-up to be

The chemistry for being wealthy – and happy – is simply to have made your money through doing the things you love. What I sensed, from the pop star I recently met, was a high degree of arrogance and loneliness, (not to mention the malevolent smile). Money can no doubt offset a lot of loneliness – and excuse an arrogance the young look-up to – just be sure you make a lot of it, as fighting off loneliness, is an expensive business. Be wealthy, yet never believe you can Cheat-am all, all of the time, I’m not that easily fooled. א

Personal Development

Alter the Filters

Golden Cog Gears with Personal Development Concept.

“Allow me to paint a picture for you. You’re in a dilemma. Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, as the saying goes. On the one hand you have the option of a gamble – plain and simple.”

You put your money down and then wait and see if your numbers come up. On the other hand you have a private pension, that you’ve ignored for many, many years and yet now feel you’re in a position to start contributing some regular cash, but only if you don’t gamble. It’s a one or the other situation.

The gamble is a business venture, that has no guarantees, no insurance etc, but requires large sums of money before any income is likely to be seen. The pension currently has a pot that’s just about large enough to piss in. You can’t touch this until retirement age and to make the pot bigger, than simply one you could only piss in, you must start contributing, and do this right now.

Option one, you gamble and potentially open up your life in extraordinary ways. Option two, you live a steady, safe and predictable life, feeling relatively comfortable. Neither happy nor unhappy.

Okay, picture painted. Now, the main reason for this dilemma is the fact you don’t gamble. In fact, so averse to gambling are you, that after taking up the offer of a fun night out at the local casino, all that happened was you spent the whole evening desperately trying to win back the two hundred pounds you lost within the first half hour. On returning home, after this ‘fun’ night out, you promptly threw up! That’s an aversion to gambling.

Let me take your mind back. Imagine the main reason for your aversion to gambling is a complex set up by your father. This is to say, during your childhood it was drummed into you, through no uncertain terms, that “gambling is a mug’s game!” Many would agree. However, spending a little time with a Personal Development Coach, Counsellor or Hypnotherapist may well show you some clear and interesting distinctions.

“In business you do need to be prepared to take a gamble. A complex established in childhood, similar to the one described above, will be limiting you.”

The way in which we filter, and as such see and experience our lives, is primarily through our early lessons and the beliefs formed from them. Professional assistance would help you remove these filters (provided they were a Licenced GOLD Counsellors that is) and help you understand the limiting nature of the generalisation: Not ALL gambling is a mugs game.

On the surface you may be thinking: what’s the problem, just be sensible and put your cash into the pension. Surely it’s the better option; the safe option? And my response would be this: Where did playing safe ever get us? When we ask the individual in question about the person who taught them: gambling’s a mugs game, what are we likely to learn? That they led a safe life? Umm… to me, safe means: predictable, boring and humdrum. A sort of half life.

So there we are: If you truly want to live, Alter the Filters. They’re not always there for our better good. Live a little, take a gamble, you’ll never regret it. And besides, retirement, what exactly is that then, time to start dying?

There is no lack when we believe

It’s Hard to Believe


“What would you say is hard to believe? Would you say it’s hard to believe there’s happiness in life, without the things we use to create it?”

For example, how can we live life without the emotional games we play, or the drugs we take, or the possessions we own? Is it hard to believe a life without these things?

What if our relationships were smooth and flowing, full of change, excitement, understanding, compassion and love? Would we find it hard to believe we had found such a thing? What if our life were filled with satisfaction in our work? What if life was filled with satisfaction and happiness in our home lives? Would it all just be too much, and too hard to believe?

“You may think there are far too many questions in those last two paragraphs, and so to a few explanations, and potentially, some answers.”

Imagine for a moment you believed all of the above were possible: the compassionate, loving relationships. The fulfilling work life. The fulfilling home life. A fulfilling life without drugs, without overeating, without the need for the amount we seek. In order for these things to become reality, and stay a stable reality at that, we do need to believe they’re possible.

Those who struggle to find this stability and happiness may think they believe it’s possible, yet at far deeper levels, their minds hold beliefs that jeopardise this stability and happiness.

“A restlessness is created through what this deeper part finds hard to believe.”

To explain, imagine a person who feels constant dissatisfaction in most, if not all, aspects of his life. Something many of us can no doubt relate to, is the feelings associated with dissatisfaction, and frustration. And so imagine this person who continues to feel this sense of dissatisfaction and frustration, no matter what successes, accomplishments and achievements he finds. How can we explain this?

“One way to help explain this is through understanding lack, and more specifically, lack of belief.”

When our minds don’t actually hold beliefs, at the deeper, unconscious levels, that instruct us to feel complete, happy or satisfied with what we have in life, then frustration and dissatisfaction is the result. We then continue to grasp and reach out for more in the hope we will find this elusive happiness, and satisfaction. When it comes to drugs, money and possessions, these are simply used as a means of calming and comforting the dissatisfied mind, if only for a while.

What if we held the belief: I am complete.

Or: I am whole.

Would this help do you think? There is strong evidence to suggest that wholeness (an acceptance of all aspects of life and our human selves) is in fact what we’re seeking through our excessive consumption. We’re constantly looking to find satisfaction (completeness, wholeness) through external trappings because we lack the above beliefs.

Think about this belief: There is nothing I want that will make me happy.

And then add this: Happiness is a state of mind I can achieve without want.

Now the cruncher: Imagine being taught this by parents as a child.


When you come to truly understand the power of belief, you’ll understand how it is there are happy people who have, nothing. They are out there. Could you find such a state of mind? Is it that hard to believe?

Just Play The Game

play the game

“Here’s what you need: Money, and not just a little bit, you need lots and lots of it.”

Okay, now we’ve established that, we’re ready to play. The game we’re going to play is called: LIFE WITH THE HUMAN ANIMAL

For what ever reason, the way things are set up here on planet earth, dictates, that in order to experience the most from life, and get the easiest, happiest experience of it, you need money. The more you have, the happier and easier all will be. Consider just two examples – although there are many – Richard Branson and Mark Zuckerberg. Are these two people happy? You bet they are.

The counter argument to ‘rich-makes-happy’ has been posed many times over the years, and it goes something like this: you don’t need money to be happy all you need is love. Fair enough, however, if there is no love or you simply don’t understand what this is, then money is certainly a solution.

Now, how we go about getting money – under the rules of how we play this game – don’t really matter. You can borrow it, steal it, exploit others for it, sell your body for it – or indeed that of others. You can even live off imaginary money that only exists in computers or on ledgers as numbers. The rules are very lax, and provided you understand the rules, all is well.

For example, if you decide to steal to get rich, then you must be prepared for the possibility of being caught and punished. Stealing (unless disguised as something else) is considered a crime here on planet earth. You must be clever when it comes to stealing. Most thieves, here on earth, are clever enough to disguise the theft of your money as a service or product. Often the thieves will be exploiting you through your weaknesses (desires of the ego and fear).

It really doesn’t matter what service or product you decide to offer the public, as most, if not all services and products, involve some kind of exploitation, it’s just in the nature of things here. To help you understand this, consider the opposite of what weakness and fear is: Strength and Love

“True strength is displayed by those who have control over their ego and the necessary understandings of love. When you have this magical combination, you’ll be happy, and life will be less of a struggle. This is compared to others who live with the disability of ignorance.”

That last paragraph is certainly worth pondering on. Fully understand it, and your sentence will be life.

It could be said: wealth is attained by those with a good business sense (amongst other things, an ability to separate human sensibilities from business affairs). When you know that business is simply that: business, and nothing else, you’ll have a good hand when it comes to money and the game. It could just as easily be said, if you’re unable to compartmentalise in this way, getting into business to earn lots of dosh is probably not the way for you.

In other words, if you’re a truly empathetic person who has a constant sense of how things ‘feel’ to others, and have a powerful need to display integrity and reason, one of the best ways for you to find money, will probably be in the arts or caring professions. A challenging way to make a living, but very rewarding. The complete opposite of empathic, is psychopathic, and if so, business will certainly be your game. There’s currently plenty of very rich psychopaths in the world.

“That’s not to say all wealthy people are psychopaths, it could just as easily be, they also have a fine understanding of love, fear and the weaknesses of ego, indeed, it’s this very understanding, coupled with clever business sense, that’s the difference that’s made the difference for them.”

With all this said, there is another game we can play. Yes that’s right, it’s called: LIFE WITH THE HUMAN as opposed to LIFE WITH THE HUMAN ANIMAL. In this particular game you’ll be playing with a minority of people. These people are very, very clever, for they understand some very specific rules. One of the rules of this game is the rule of Exclusion.

The rule of exclusion involves learning the ability to be extremely selective. This is to say, to play this game well, you’ll need to have learned how to exclude your own human weaknesses, you’ll have learned all about integrity, and you’ll have a very specific understanding of what it means to love your fellow man.

play the game

When you’re able to exclude those from your life – who don’t play by the same set of rules – money and riches, believe it or not, become less relevant. We all need to learn this irrelevance, because very few of us get really rich, and even though there are rich people in the world, not many of them share their wealth in a constructive and useful manner.

“There are many billions of people currently living in poverty here on earth. If wealth, information and intelligence were better shared, we could change this very quickly.”

And so, the more we change the disability of ignorance, into the ability of love, and the more we’re able to exclude the self-centered takers who exploit us, the more we’re likely to enjoy the new community of people created. A community that are more likely to share their wealth, love and understandings, and in turn exclude crippling poverty for billions.

Ultimately, whichever game you choose: LIFE WITH THE HUMAN ANIMAL or LIFE WITH THE HUMAN enjoy the process, yet know: often the games we play promote a grasping and suffering we remain ignorant to, or they promote a giving and sharing we can experience pleasure from. Both worth thinking about.

Something also worth thinking about is, the rules of both the games described, do come down to what we believe, and what we believe, is and will always be, the biggest determiner in what kind of life we and others live.