Be Ready To Believe

“Failure and rejection are unpleasant yet inevitable aspects to life”

At some point we’re all going to experience them. When we’re rejected we feel we’ve failed and of course we have. Once we pick ourselves up though, we must then come to understand, these things are only an opportunity to do it differently, next time around.

We may need to change our technique, business model, looks or approach . . . you name it. Provided we’re determined to succeed, and we alter what we did to find rejection and failure in the first place, we will. It’s simply a game of numbers. Problems arise, when after failure, we keep on with the same strategy. This is the definition of insanity.

“There are those who set out in business, with a particular product or idea, that has no practical application or demand”

In terms of invested time and money, so far are they, into the pursuit of their idea or product, some individuals often see no choice but to just blindly continue on. They may do this for many more years, wasting time and money as they do, until eventually the penny drops. Once they move on, it may well be, that an entirely different idea or product comes to mind. It’s quite often this new one that succeeds. This is the entrepreneurial spirit in action.

The point of my title is to make us aware of the need for preparedness. We must be prepared for failure and rejection, this way, we’re ready to see this as feedback and opportunity to change tack for next time. Changing direction on each pass – on each attempt – enables us to develop and grow. As we do, we increase our chances of success.

Does your product have practical application? If not you may want to have a rethink. Does your idea have a demand? If not how could you create this? Caution is advised here. We must be careful in how we may be deluding ourselves into thinking our ideas or products are fabulous, useful, or even groundbreaking. You may see it this way, but will anyone else? How will you know until you put it out there? You won’t, and so potential failure must be seen as only the feedback you need, in order to progress. Above all, stop doing what doesn’t work.

“One stumbling block many overlook is their own mind. Believe it or not, our own minds can be the very thing – the very difficulty – we need to overcome, before we succeed”

We’re all aware of the existence of the conscious mind. Your conscious of these words as you read them. What you’re not conscious of – at least until now – is your breathing or heartbeat. These things are cared for by your unconscious mind.

Unlike our heartbeat, we can alter our breathing, because this is something that’s considered semi-autonomic. Consciously changing ones heartbeat is a little more tricky. And so, the things we have conscious control over, are easy to alter and change, once we become aware of them. Becoming aware is the trick.

Believe

The majority of our beliefs remain unconscious until we request them. Beliefs remain unconscious until such a time we need to bring them into our awareness. If all of our beliefs, rattled around in our conscious awareness, all the time, we’d go completely bonkers. For example, the beliefs we hold about what food we like, are not in our thoughts all the time, but do tend to come into awareness, when we’re hungry.

“When it comes to awareness of our beliefs, it may well be, that many of the unconscious beliefs we hold, are having a detrimental effect on the outcome of our endeavours”

Consciously we may believe in what we’re selling, yet unconsciously, we may not. This conflict is a no win situation as the unconscious, always, wins. Unless, that is, we change the programming. Let me give you an example.

Let’s say you’ve taken a job selling insurance. You’re regularly consciously aware of your ability to sell. You look in the mirror and say “damn you’re good!” Perhaps you successfully sold yourself, or some other beautiful thing when younger, and so there’s no problem with your beliefs in that regard. There is one problem though, you don’t particularly believe in insurance.

This lack of belief, or mistrust of insurance, is not something you’re consciously aware of. Deeply set into your mind is the forgotten memory of your mother being conned by an insurance agent. This forgotten memory is creating a negative. In fact, this memory could very well be the unconscious driving force behind you taking a job as an insurance agent, in the first place. That though, is a subject open for further debate, at another time.

Anyway, staying with this example, all we need do is recover this memory and then update or change your understanding of it. In this way, we firstly make the negative belief conscious. Secondly we explained to your mind, this wayward insurance agent your mother met, was only one example. There are certainly many good examples. You being one of them. We also explain, to that part of your mind, the benefits to insurance. This ‘bolstering of beliefs’ will reinforce your ability to sell, as you now believe in the product both consciously, and unconsciously. We remove the conflict, we remove the likelihood of your own mind scuppering your success.

Meditation, leading to light trance, is experienced during the application of the GOLD Counselling method.

The Locksmith Series #5

Abreaction is the phenomena experienced when we revisit emotionally charged memories from the past. These emotions and buried memories drive our neurosis.
Abreaction is the phenomenon experienced when we revisit emotionally charged memories from the past. These emotions and buried memories drive our neurosis.

Abreaction and Meditation. Emily was standing in front of the flame red door. Finding Vidya Alley had been surprisingly easy. A few minutes earlier, as she’d walked toward the door – clearly spotted at the end of the alley – she’d been puzzling over how, in all the years living in the area, she’d never noticed the alleyway before. It’s amazing what you can miss, when you’re not looking for it, she’d thought. As she raised her hand, about to touch the gold coloured knob, neatly centred in the middle of the door, it clicked open. The door continued to gently swing inwards and now, beyond it, she could see a softly lit hallway. There was no one there to greet her, and yet, after seeing the soft light, and now smelling the sweet incense, she decided to step forward.

Tucked into the right hand corner of the L-shaped hallway, sat a grandfather clock, it was gently ticking; the pendulum swinging, right to left, right to left: tick, tock, tick, tock went the hypnotic sound. Just in front of the clock, and somehow slightly out of context, there sat a small terrier type dog: quite scruffy and unkempt looking, and in that way dogs do, when they’re trying to work something out: a sound or something they’ve seen, its head was turned slightly to the right; he sat very still, completely unmoving.

As Emily stared at the dog, it sat so still, she began to wonder if it was a stuffed toy. But then, as if seeming to want to clear up her confusion, the little dog stood up, walked away from her, retreating further into the house. She looked on after it, slightly sad – thinking that might be the end of the encounter – when it suddenly stopped, turned around, and looked back at her.

After a few moments, and a slight wag of its tail, the dog walked off turning into the entrance of an adjoining room. Emily, perhaps foolishly, decided to take that as an invitation to follow, she glanced behind her, noticing that the front door was now closed. It had closed so gently and silently, she hadn’t felt, or heard a thing.

The entrance, through which the little dog had disappeared, was covered by a beaded curtain. Emily couldn’t see what lay beyond the curtain and so allowed her curiosity to pull her into the room.

On entering, the first thing she noticed, was a man sitting on a cushion in the centre of the room. There was absolutely nothing else in the room except a small incense burner and a similar cushion placed opposite him. The man appeared to have his eyes closed. He had very short hair and was wearing loose, saffron coloured, robes. She thought to herself, oh bollocks, it’s a fucking Buddhist.

“Hello Emily,” said the man, “I see you’ve met Lord Harry, and no, I’m certainly not a Buddhist, the reason I wear these robes is because they’re practical and comfortable, and I like the colour.”

Two things popped instantly into her mind: How the fuck did he know my name and who the fuck is Lord Harry?

“Lord Harry is the little fella sitting next to you who showed you in, and no, I’m not reading your mind, I just have excellent timing is all.”

She looked down, and sure enough, there was the curious little dog.

“That doesn’t explain how you know my name though, does it?” said Emily, “That’s a bit creepy by the way, and actually, now I come to think of it, this whole experience so far has been a bit creepy,” – I was warned, she thought – “and why don’t you have a phone, everybody has a phone, and how did you know my name?”

“So many questions girl, come, sit as I am, here, opposite me.”

The Locksmith, she’d assumed this must be who she was now talking to, indicated with his hand that she should sit on the small cushion opposite; she did as he requested; placing her bag on the floor; crossing her legs. Lord Harry, the little terrier dog, came over and curled up next to her; she felt instantly at ease, after everything that had happened to Emily, she was ready to be now.

Taking her attention for a moment, a single, white tendril of smoke, spiralled out of the copper incense burner, in front of her. She began to notice the soft lighting now, and wondered where the source of the light was. There were no lamps, wall or ceiling lights she could easily discern, and yet there was light; a calming, soothing light; it seemed to shift and change like the Northern Lights she’d heard so much of. Emily found herself becoming very relaxed, she dreamily heard the Locksmith telling her to notice her breathing, and how the in-breath felt: cool and relaxing; how the out-breath calmed. Her eyelids became so very, very heavy, she felt so relaxed and calm now, and then the unexpected warmth of that salty tear, as it slowly tracked its way down her cheek.  

What on earth is happening to me, she thought.

To be continued…

The Locksmith Series #2

Meditation helps to focus the mind as we seek answers to questions the mind wouldn't ordinarily reveal. There are many benefits to meditation.
Meditation helps to focus the mind as we seek answers to questions the mind wouldn’t ordinarily reveal. There are many benefits to meditation.

Meditation. He was sitting in a darkened room, cross legged, a firm cushion raising him slightly from the floor. His back was straight, he sat perfectly balanced with no perceptible tension in his body at all. As he gently breathed in, through slightly parted lips, tongue gently tucked behind his front teeth, his mind spoke the word: Shamatha, an old Sanskrit word meaning “Dwelling in tranquillity.” And as he breathed out, his mind spoke the Sanskrit word: Shunyata, meaning “Emptiness, void.”

He found that using these old words for a short time, at the start of his meditation, helped to rid his mind of all the chatter and the sounds of the world around him. He could remember a time when it was so, so quiet, and how they told him, he’d hear God’s plan. Beliefs in God, as was prescribed to him then, as a child, had long since faded though. There was a new God in his life now; one of his own making.

To the observer, seeing the Locksmith, sitting as he was now, in a darkened room, incense burning, he would potentially have been instantly labelled as Buddhist, yet looks can be deceiving. He didn’t hold to many of the Buddhist’s beliefs, just those he found useful. And he knew about labels, he knew about the label an observer would place on him, and how that flew directly in the face, of so much of what the Buddhists believed. Hypocrisy and nonsense so much of it. No, he was happy to have an identity all of his own, not Buddhist, yet not quite fully anything you could easily label. Human of course, just as human as the Buddhists, who’d even like to lose that particular tag; a tag all humans carry, right up until they die. No escaping that.

As the chatter of his mind stilled so did the need for the repetition of his Sanskrit words. Only aware of his breathing now: the sound and feel of it, a slow steady inhalation followed by that inevitable, yet no longer fully automatic, exhalation. Becoming more and more relaxed with every out breath, drifting down and down into that comfortable place of calm. It was then that the Locksmith heard and felt the name; the name of his next inquisitor: Emily. His mind felt the sound. He would patiently wait.

To be continued…

truth

Tent of Shelter

Bedouin tea party set on oriental style

“It’s okay you can come in, don’t worry about the cushions, they’re there for you to sit on. Do you like my tent?”

Do you like all the swathes of fabric tied up into the roof? Beautiful. What colour would you say that is? Do you like how that gentle breeze moves the fabric? A gentle rustling sound. Can you hear it? And what about these large, beautiful colourful cushions, aren’t they fabulous?

Come in, sit, whatever’s the most comfortable for you. If you’d like to relax I can help you with that. Would you like to relax? That’s right. Just sit in whatever way is most comfortable for you, perhaps with your legs crossed, or lying down, either way is good. You may, or you may not, find it easier to close your eyes now, as we go on a journey together.

Imagine you’re becoming more and more relaxed, not too much, just enough to see that ball of blackness in front of your eyes. Can you see it now? You can see it, now. A ball of blackness in front of your eyes.

total solar eclipse

Think of that ball of blackness as fear. Fear of being alone. That fear that causes you to need; to need to be with those who are not empowering you, not loving you, just needing you. Need and love are two very different things you know. Love has no need.

Think of that black ball of fear as getting smaller now, that’s right, smaller and smaller now. That ball of fear that blocks your vision, keeping you stuck. It’s stopping you from seeing beyond that tiny space around you. A tiny world about you.

“As the fear; as the blackness diminishes, that world, your world, begins to grow. Can you see the light of that knowledge from behind that black ball of fear? The light from behind that ball is growing larger and larger now.”

The ball of fear, is getting smaller and smaller, that black ball of fear. Fear of the cold, fear of the dark, fear of alone, fear of hunger, fear of what others may think. Now, the light is growing bigger and bigger, filling you with confidence, filling you with love. Look how small that ball of fear has become.

So small now that there is no fear of being alone, no fear for those you leave behind; after all they’re welcome in my tent of shelter also. Or do you think they would rather grow that ball of fear, that ball of need?

Imagine a world where there is no one needing anything from you, no one wanting anything from you, just a place of freedom, where you can walk, or run, to that next experience, that next adventure away from all the pain and the suffering of those, who can’t even see the entrance to my tent. My tent of shelter.

As you open your eyes now, hold that light inside your mind; inside your soul; inside your heart. That light obliterating the darkness of fear, carrying you away to a brighter, better future, of courage and love.

sunsine.

You know what? You’re welcome in my tent of shelter whenever you need my friend, you’re welcome.