The Most Important Relationship

A gentleman recently told me he thought he was too independent. On reflection, I heard that to mean, he doesn’t need anyone. A rare thing indeed. When I asked him: ‘Was there any such thing as too independent?’ he replied: “I’m no-one’s prisoner, that’s for sure.”

“I’m ‘no-one’s prisoner’ came across as a curious statement at the time; it made an impression I suppose”

In some respects taking the time to think about what people say is a useful habit. The position I’m in dictates the need for this habit. It’s the analyst in me. Many of us benefit from this kind of hindsight, and yet, I believe even more of us would benefit from it’s opposite. That of foresight. In particular the kind of foresight that would bring the answer to this sort of question:

“What is the likely outcome of what I’m about to say or do?”

It seems at the moment a lot of people, even respected people, are opening their mouths (or twittering their tweets) well before they’ve actually considered the likely effects and consequences. An expensive error. In fact, in my previous post, I mentioned the worthlessness of opinion, but recent events have made us aware of how expensive,  some people’s opinions can prove to be. The more you’re worth, in this world, the more valuable your opinion. This is the case, even though wealth, often has very little to do with emotional maturity, or intelligence. A bit topsy-turvy in my humble opinion.

Anyway, to the point. The gentleman who told me he was ‘no-one’s prisoner’ was right of course. It’s what he feels and believes. The thing is though, he will always be a prisoner of sorts: a prisoner to himself. We’re all prisoners to ourselves to a greater or lesser degree.

“The use of the term itself implies some kind of unseen metaphor to his life”

He also told me how, once there was no love left in his relationship, he’d simply left his wife. I imagine, if we looked deeper into his life, we would see many examples of where he’s continued to imprison himself with the belief ‘too independent.’ The belief comes first. As such, it could be said the belief ‘too independent’ was the cause of his marriage breakdown, rather than the reasoning.

It seems strange to suggest we could imprison ourselves, through believing we’re too independent, however, isn’t isolation just another form of it? The man in question lives alone, alone, alone. The other thing to consider, is how our gentleman in question, potentially associates being in a relationship with being imprisoned. Beautiful partnerships and healthy relationships set us free. Provided we understand how to believe in this, thus achieve it, that is.

“We imprison ourselves with our beliefs”

Imagine the minds flaw as such: We are imprisoned within a castle and our beliefs are the walls. The solution of lowering the drawbridge – creating a gap in the walls – is accomplished through raising our awareness.

Raised awareness awards us foresight. The ability to think before we speak or act. Something to consider, before we do anything, is in what way our beliefs might be limiting us and our relationships. Not just the relationships we have with others, but also, the one we have with ourselves.

An Educational Workshop to raise your awareness. Contact Us.

A Beautiful Li(F)e

“Gaining a beautiful life has nothing to do with status, equality, or justice”

A beautiful life is gained when we’re raised by adults who empower us through their love. Their empowering love manifests itself through a burning desire to teach us how to be fully grown. Being educated and informed, as to the ways of the world, and entering adulthood with our eyes open, means we’re properly equipped, to see through the lies.

Inequality is the result of beliefs held by the individual and the level of their dependence created through ignorance. The uneducated, ignorant individual, can do nothing about inequality. The educated man will see it for what it truly is: The belief in have or have not. The main thing the educated man truly wants and needs – to live a beautiful life – is a family and an empowering love, driving him, to raise our children to be fully grown adults. A beautiful cycle.

“Justice and injustice are a fallacy”

There is no such thing as justice. Where there is no justice there is no injustice. We have peace of mind, and resolution to the wrongs inflicted upon us, when we fully understand the need for painful lessons in life. Seeking justice, instead of understanding, keeps us as children wanting an immature vengeance. We’re taught: In order to ease our pain, we must cause more.

“The response to pain, from an adult love, is the search for understanding”

The parents of a brain dead child, fighting to keep him artificially alive, do this due to their inability to see the rights of the child as being greater than their own. When we, as a species, see the rights of the child, as always being greater than ours (by default), we will evolve into the loving beings we’re (possibly) destined to become.

“If we’re going to award a child the right to life, we must also be prepared to offer this same child, the right to die. The fact we need a court of law, to decide this for us, is absurd”

Parents, who have no model or concept of what it means to be fully grown, are constantly fighting a battle with themselves. They are quite literally fighting for control over their emotions and powerful will of their inner child. They cannot stand to let go of a child they believe to be their property. The child does not belong to them it belongs to itself. We can empathise with their suffering, yet how can we possibly display sympathy, for parents who are prepared to put their needs (to be free of suffering) before the rights of the child? The paradox, is now the courts have instructed them to allow the child to die in peace, their suffering will end.

“The worlds beliefs in money, equality and justice, will change, once we’re free from the suppression of ignorance”

True freedom is the ability to question the beliefs and expectations of others. Amongst many other things, the mature parent, is able to teach the child power of choice. They ask: “If you choose this option what will the possible outcomes be? Are those outcomes something you want?”

Contact Us if you need to know more about freeing yourself from limiting beliefs.    

Defence Against the Lies

 

How can we tell if someone is lying? How can we defend ourselves against the damage of lies?

If we start with understanding what a lie is, and why they’re so common, we begin the process of understanding how to defend ourselves against them.

Let’s just take ourselves back to being young for a moment, and gently ponder, on the lies we told at that time. Straight away, there might now be a few who tell a lie, to themselves. They might be saying: “I never told lies.” Whoops, let’s just let that one go then shall we, and start again. We all tell lies. That’s right, all of us.

“The truth, and the truth of our opinions can be hurtful, so of course, we protect people’s feelings. We protect them against the truth of either our opinion, or indeed, the truth itself”

In this instance, we can consider the lie as being driven by our empathy, and consideration for the feelings of others. Even when we tell lies under such circumstances though, in a deeper part of our minds, we do understand lying isn’t necessarily useful. The lie may protect someone’s feelings, however, in the long term, the lie may do harm. For example, if someone close to you were to ask: “Do you love me?” And you’re answer is: “Yes,” when the truth is you’re no longer certain, eventually the truth will out, and the lie will then be seen as harmful. When the eventual break up comes, the question will be: “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could have moved on with my life years ago.”

So we can easily see, the issue of lies, is a complicated one. Telling the truth, in the above example, would take great courage. Now, pause for a moment if you will. Can we spot the real lie in the above example? Is it not the case, the real lie, is the reason for saying yes? Indeed we do want to protect feelings, however, because we’re fearful of loss, through making a mistake, the real lie, is that we tell ourselves we’re protecting someone else. What would the pain of loss cost you? Truth, it would seem, is often avoided in order to protect ourselves, as well as the feelings of others. Self preservation, is the lot of the lie, is it not?

“Now, when it comes to defending ourselves against lies, this is where it gets very interesting”

There are those individuals who are specially trained at spotting lies. Police detectives, psychologists and therapists, are potentially the best at spotting them. They deal with them all the time. With this said though, how competent are the rest of us at spotting lies? Can you easily spot one? Here’s a clue to the truth of that question: Everyone is lying to you right now. Almost everything you hear is laced with some kind of lie.

We must take on board the self preservation aspect of lies. To help with understanding this, let’s form the presupposition that everyone, is fearful of being alone. Let’s also state, that on one level, everyone is in fact already aware of this, and all we’re doing, is playing psychological games, through our lies, in order to escape accepting this truth.

With these presuppositions and understandings in place, defending oneself against the potential harm of lies, is easy. All we need do, is accept our own aloneness. Once we’re able to do this, there is no longer any need for us to lie, and lies from others, can be seen for what they are: A cry for love. Should anyone reject us through our truth, it will no longer matter, because we already understand ourselves as alone.

“Alone, is when no other person is able to be part of our mind, body, or soul. Can any other person be part of your mind, to the extent they could read your thoughts? No. As such, you are alone.”

In order to take our understandings of lies a little deeper, I need to change tack slightly. I need to talk about those people who’re able to create the illusion of being part of your mind. Once this illusion is created, you feel less alone, and as such, safer. There is great danger here. You can potentially become owned, controlled and dependant, on a person who has the ability to create such an illusion. The lie, is that they’re part of your mind; that they have some kind of connection with you, that’s more than mere similarity. You are the one who’s creating the lie incidentally. You’re lying to yourself.

“I’m going to give you a clear example of this. Take some time here”

Imagine a conversation with someone close, who starts talking to you, with the assumption you already know part of what they’ve been thinking. For example, they start the conversation, like this: “She said she didn’t know.”

Okay, a conversation initiated in such a fashion, could go one of two ways. You either ask them: “WTF are you talking about? Or you could take a moment to work out who they might be referring to: – There might be some tenuous link with a previous conversation, or you might be able to easily work out who’s been spoken about. Firstly, your attention has been grabbed. Secondly, in the process of you working out who’s been spoken about, you’ll be creating the illusion of being inside someone else’s mind. Something that creates a very powerful bond. Always bear in mind. This. Is. An. Illusion.

“Remember where the lie is here”

The lie is that it’s possible to be inside someone else’s mind. Don’t be fooled, once you buy into such a lie, you can be very easily manipulated. All of us humans are looking for one thing: to be less alone. Those who’re able to create the illusion of mind reading, will have immense power over you.

To the point. Lies are used as a means of protecting the self: the ego. The ego is excellent at lying. We only ever lie to ourselves and we do this as a means of self-preservation. We defend ourselves against the potential harm of lies, when we acknowledge, our aloneness. Knowledge removes fear.

Allow me to give you further example of the protective nature of lies. I work closely with a compulsive liar. She lies as a means of protecting her ego. Her ego is in fact extremely fragile. The person in question has been placed in a position of authority that well exceeds her abilities (resources). As a means of compensating for this, her opinions and conversation, are always laced with lies. This is now at the point that nearly everything she says seems made up. I’ve stopped hearing almost everything she says to me. I once saw a T-shirt with the words: “I’m not hearing a word you’re saying to me, I’m just smiling and nodding in all the right places, in the hope this works.” That’s the place I’m in with the lairs of liars. I barely hear a word anyone says to me.

Main Point:

As in childhood, the ego will recognise lack of resources and compensate for this, through lies. Some never grow out of the need to tell lies, because they’ve never grown out, of childhood. Sound familiar? Do you know anyone like this? Are there some – on the world stage right now – who need to tell lies, because their child-mind needs to protect itself?  

We must now understand:

“It’s not so much truth, that sets us free, it’s the fact only the free, speak it. Freedom is when you’re no longer afraid”

The Land of The Free

“I enjoy spotting paradoxes. This mornings favourite is the one about guns”

Yes, you see it’s a paradox for Americans to believe their second amendment (of 1791 for crying out loud) amounts to freedom of the individual. As long as just one man owns a gun no one is free.

What exactly is it that drives the desire to own a gun? A gun certainly creates the feeling of empowerment. You have a gun in your hand and it creates a sense of power and protection. Point it at someone and that power is confirmed. That power though is borne from instilling fear.

If someone pointed a loaded gun at me, I’d probably soil my pants, and there’s no shame in admitting this. The one thing I’d also understand – in that bowel loosening moment – is the person pointing the gun, is just as powerless as me standing there in my soiled pants. The soil is in their mind. The belief that guns empower actually enslaves the believer.

Power

An ugly truth is, some humans enjoy manipulating, dominating and controlling others. It’s a natural tendency. Just yesterday, proof of this was demonstrated to me, whilst out cycling. Allow me to share.

You’d imagine, as a motorist driving along a narrow lane, that stopping for a cyclist, coming in the opposite direction, would be the polite thing to do.

“Most would feel this purely because a cyclist is soft and squidgy and easily damaged in comparison to a car”

However, some motorists don’t see it this way, and choose to force – the poor soft and squidgy cyclist – out of the way and into the hedges. They use their car as a kind of weapon to intimidate, dominate and control. Under these circumstances I look to ride defensively and simply get out of the way; there’s little point in getting angry and trying to compete with a ton of metal.

The other understanding that empowers me, to remain calm, in control and enjoying my ride, is this: The motorist that uses his car to bully and intimidate me, is a coward, the one who stops has courage. Similarly, use a gun to intimidate and frighten me, and you’re a coward. So thankfully, most motorists, are polite and considerate to the poor cyclist. Lycra lout or not, cyclists are vulnerable, compared to cars, that is. 

“Anyway the point being, until we recognise our natural tendency to need supremacy over each other, guns enslave us all through ignorance”

A gun is simply a method of instilling our fear and cowardice into the minds of others. A knife works under the same principle. Many youngsters, who’ve given up carrying such weapons, are fully prepared to admit this fact. I once heard a child being interviewed on TV saying this: “When a carried a knife I did it because I was frightened.” Even so, in London, and cities all over the world, every day, some youngster losses their life to knife or gun crime.

The true issue, is our denial and ignorance – of our need to rid ourselves of fear, hatred, cowardice and anger – by instilling it into the minds, of others. It’s ignorance and denial of our true nature that enslaves us. Our lack of awareness enslaves us. The Human Animal: We have such a long way to go yet so much to reach for.

I Will Never Be Silenced

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“The control rods of shame and guilt are being used against the voices of reason”

It’s seems no matter if our opinion is reasoned and well thought out, shame and guilt are being used as a means of silencing, those who believe in the rights of the child.

“Reason is in fact the true control rod, yet when people stop listening to this, because it’s cold reality frightens them, the train starts to leave the tracks”

It is not homophobic to state the opinion: children have a right to be raised by a mother and a father. It’s just an opinion. If you don’t like it, come up with a counter argument, but don’t look to silence and control free speech through guilt.

It’s believing we have a right, to anything we want, irrespective of the rights of others, that’s creating the human rot so often seen throughout history. Control and ownership gone mad is war. Millions have lost their lives fighting this and many more will no doubt continue to. Isn’t it about time we started respecting those who gave their lives for our freedom, by protecting free speech? We’re still fighting a war of sorts right now.

“When victims refuse to take any responsibility whatsoever, and look to understand their part in matters, we have the north south of victim driven mentality”

Taking responsibility empowers us to protect ourselves. When victims point the finger of blame and say: this is all your fault, they become powerless. Power is when a rape victim says: “yes I drank too much and next time I’ll be sober, carrying a fucking rape alarm.” Stop thinking there is no such thing as the human animal, there is. If we fail to protect ourselves through our naivety, we must acknowledge and accept this failing, or fail over and over again.

Stopping free speech, because we’re frightened of the truth, (or our own homophobia, remember what criticism is) creates a society that’s driven by the repression of ignorance. When we refuse to acknowledge cause and effect we add to this ignorance.

“It’s important we really start to take a close look at what we are in fact doing. When we take away the black and white of boundaries, and the proper respect of nature, we muddy the waters, to such an extent, we’re endangering our very survival”

You might think that last statement a little dramatic, however, if we don’t learn the lessons from the past, they’ll keep repeating themselves. From experience, I can tell you, this is a horrible prospect. Control and ownership are the most distasteful human diseases. The human need for these traits is so powerful they can gently and subtly creep into society without our noticing them. These traits, will always be there in the background, we must learn to spot them quickly.

“Our tendency to deny truth is the war we must fight”

Truth sets us free, so how is it we struggle so much with this? Because it hurts, that’s why. We struggle to accept that our self-centeredness may be denying our children the future their genes decided for them. We struggle to accept, we simply cannot have everything we want, without their being a cost. A cost we’d rather not acknowledge.

The cost, is we lose our fight for the rights and freedom for all, before we’ve even started. This includes unborn children. Self-centered ownership of our children is saying: the needs of the few, are greater than the needs of the many; another disease of humanity.

Advancement

Advancement

“It could be said we’re all advancing. From the moment we’re born, it starts. Be it simply growing or learning, our brains and bodies are developing, we’re advancing”

The question is, to what extent are we advancing compared to others? Of course, comparing ourselves to others, is potentially never a good idea. We’re all different. One person’s view on what it means to grow and advance may differ greatly to another. Just so long as we’re changing and developing, in some fashion, all is well. The point remains though, the quickest development, is the greatest gain.

Life is short. We’re all in a hurry. This isn’t surprising considering the uncertainty of it all. Live the moment. There’s always a bus ready to run you over. You never know what’s around the next corner. You could be dead tomorrow etc., etc.

“With this in mind, let’s also consider the close correlation between the words ‘advance’ and ‘advantage.’ The quicker you advance the greater the advantage”

In this moment now, I believe the quickest, most effective advancement, is to raise awareness. As I experience people, it’s all too obvious to me, many lack self-awareness. When we take a step back and think about the behaviour of some humans, we can see, it’s a lack of self-awareness, that drives their self-destructive patterns. We could say this lack is a form of mental illness.

Now, adding to the array of labels associated with mental illness, isn’t necessarily a good thing, we have plenty already. With so many children craving attention, and the mental health professionals so keen to pander to this through creating new labels, why add to it? Give me a label though, and it makes me feel so, so special. I’m Autistic, Dyslexic, Asperger. Are you? Or are you just a lonely human exhibiting a difference for attention?

“Does giving us labels help with self-awareness? Or do they close us down and give us something to live down to? We could live up to somewhere different. An awareness that gives us advantage”

Once we become aware of limiting behaviour, devoid of a label, we’re more able to change it. Let’s take the limiting thoughts and behaviour related to sexism, bigotry, racism and intolerance. Is it not the case that labelling ourselves may be creating a form of individuality, yet also creating, a separateness? Can we be individuals without others being intolerant? I believe we can through raising awareness.

For example, what’s behind the behaviour of sexism? Why are we intolerant of others? Is it because we’ve given them a label? Does the label mean less or more? Why is there hatred? Raise this: Hatred is a consequence of a lack of self-awareness. We hate what we don’t understand about ourselves, and project it, onto those we’ve labelled.

As children, when the adults around us display their hatred of other humans, we, as sensitive children, take this on, to our ‘selves.’ We only ever hate our selves. This is then projected. Children don’t see differences as occurring outside of themselves, they internalise them, and learn to hate their selves. Get it? The suicide bomber is blowing himself up. Clarity? 

Anyway, we just love our labels, don’t we? Think of this: I’m a Muslim, I’m a Christian, I’ve got a degree, I’m black, I’m White, and on and on we go. What if we removed all of these labels and simply had one? This one: Flawed Human.

There’s no getting away from the fact many want to be seen as better than others. To have the bigger car, more money, a better job, a more loving God and so on, however, the trick, through raising self-awareness, is we begin to see the nonsense of this.

“There is also a paradox to this trick. We need the driving to be better; to be more advanced, in order to want raised awareness. Once we have it though, some become enlightened to our often, ridiculous nature of wanting superiority. A Beautiful Paradox”

Seek the advantage of advancement and discover this Beautiful Paradox for yourself. When you find it you will also find a beautiful freedom. The freedom of Self-Love.

Freedom Costs Nothing

Many of us believe that if we just had a little more money we’d be freer. We think that if we only had enough money to set up that business, or establish some kind of higher status in the world, all would be well. The truth is, freedom, has nothing to do with these things.

Clarity of mind:

“This can be achieved through a meditative state. During this state, we must look to drop everything from our minds, that we believe matters. When we’re able to do this, we clearly understand: freedom occurs when we shed the layers of confusion brought about through conflicting beliefs.”

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Freedom Costs Nothing

“The common man is indoctrinated into his expectations of life.”

A very broad and general system of beliefs we’re given, comes as a consequence of our environment, during childhood. For example, when young, what made our parents happy? This is easy to answer, because most times all we need do, is ask ourselves what makes us happy. Happiness, and most importantly what makes us happy, is a learned behaviour.

“By questioning our ‘learned’ behaviour we escape many of the shackles previous generations have taught us. Paradoxically, many of the means we use to seek happiness, actually enslave us.”

It goes without saying, happiness, well-being and safety, are important to us all. How we find these things varies from individual to individual. One individual might feel free, well, happy and safe when he’s in the local betting shop, placing a months wages on a horse, whereas another, may feel free and safe sitting in his favourite chair, with his family around him, watching a good movie after a hard days work.

“Yet another person, who has questioned the types of systems we’ve developed to make us happy, may feel all these things when sitting alone on a beach.”

True happiness is achieved when we free ourselves from the illusions created through learned behaviour. When we take the time to really think about it, happiness is a state of mind, effortlessly achieved, when we have balance. A Buddhist monk for example, may well tell you: happiness is achieved through realising the now moment. How easy would life be, if we we’re able to achieve happiness (a state of contentment) through simply being aware, of our breathing! In those moments, would we be enslaved by all the ‘trappings’ of life we’re taught to believe we need, in order to be happy?

“It may seem difficult to believe and accept, the most effective route to the true happiness freedom brings, will include: Creativity, Change, Challenge and Variety. All of which, can cost us, nothing.”

It’s worth considering a different route, to what you believe may help you feel happier, before seeking investment in that business. It’s only ever the ego (the best creator of illusions there ever was) that seeks a higher status in life, and is often driven by fear. Do we fear not seeming good enough? Our fears enslave us.

In addition to all this, raised self-esteem, is something we attach to happiness. The assumption is: low self-esteem equals unhappy. It’s certainly the case, if we’ve found activities – from learning martial arts to having sex – help with building our self-esteem, we feel happier when doing them. However when this is the case, we’re also working to the same mistaken principle: happiness comes from outside of us. This belief is our weakness.

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Small Diamonds Are Used To Change Big Things

We raise our self-esteem from the inside out. For example, if a child is small and weaker than his classmates, the solution will often be seen as something external. With this in mind, is learning martial arts the answer? High self-esteem will only be achieved during the hand chopping, board breaking classes. He’ll still potentially grow up to have low self-esteem in many other aspects of his life. If he never questions the belief: small and weak, he’ll remain this way on the inside forever.

“Now he has his ‘black belt’ what if he were drawn to a violent lifestyle or adopted a confrontational approach to others?”

Would this be a useful way to get through life? Far better to change how he feels about himself on the inside. We do this through helping him deal with his emotions in a gentle way, and then question his beliefs about size: small is efficient, small diamonds are used to change big things, and so on.

The paradox is this: The greater the happiness – found through our archaic beliefs – the more enslaved we become.

Happiness is found through the things that help us feel less afraid; when we can fight we’re less fearful; when we own we’re less fearful. The bigger the car, or the house or whatever – now we have the black belt – the safer we feel; all paradoxical. We really do live in a world that’s a mirror reflection of the true one. When we step out of this mirror – through shedding the confused conditioning of our beliefs – we’re able to see the ridiculous nature of the world we’ve created. Only then, will we find the freedom, that costs nothing.

Is Happiness Always an Illusion?

We know what creates happiness don’t we? Whether it be the simple things in life, like walking the dogs, a nice meal with friends and family, or perhaps it’s the larger things like our work or relationships; we know what makes us happy. Perhaps for you it’s security that works: a nice home, enough food and sufficient money to have what you want and need.

All of these things create a feeling that we call happiness. On a physical level our activities release certain chemicals (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins) into the brain, creating our happy feelings; we’re happy because our brain is telling us we are.

“Scientist have of course measured this and can now manufacture these chemicals, (drugs) and once in the bloodstream, they actually bypass those things we need to be doing in order to feel happy. So being happy is a physical thing we can measure.”

With this in mind, can happiness ever be an illusion? If we’re creating the chemicals associated with happiness, (ether externally administered or within our own bodies) this must mean that happiness is tangible and real; surely there is never an illusion? If we feel it, we are!

All things considered, and on a slightly different track, we now know all about the placebo effect: feelings can be created through administering the placebo of a sugar pill. As such, the effect of happiness is created by the belief we’ve been given a pill. In this respect we can see that happiness is always an illusion simply created within the mind through belief. We believe that certain things need to be happening for us to be happy. When we believe something works its the belief making it so.

Going back to our opening examples, if we’re unable to walk the dog, or spend time with friends and family, and we believe these things lead to happiness, surely without them, it follows we’ll be unhappy? To explain we can use a certain group of people as example: prisoners. Are all prisoners unhappy?

We know there’s currently a lot of self-harm and depression in our prisons, and so is it the case the removing a person’s liberty, always leads to unhappiness? Actually, no, this is not the case, some people are actually happier in prison, than they were in the outside world. In particular those who’ve been institutionalised.

“One might say, that to a greater or lesser extent, we’ve all been institutionalised, and our happiness is simply the consequence of what we’ve come to expect from life, and what kind of life we need to be living, in order to be happy.”

Depression in the outside world is on the increase also, and considering our quality of life has never been better, we might want to wonder why. Perhaps old beliefs are beginning to break down and we now need some new ones.

Try this one. It’s my belief that happiness is a state of mind that can be found no matter the circumstances or quality of life. That might seem an odd assertion, however, this kind of positive mental attitude (PMA), is achieved when we have this fundamental understanding:

“Happiness already exists within us and is found (released) through the change and challenges we set ourselves. Contrary to this, beliefs are often the false, illusory root to our failing happiness.”

When it comes to depression we can say that this is simply a symptom of feeling stuck. Even prisoners are able to escape depression once they’ve been given sufficient challenge and variety. Exercise, for example, is a popular activity in prisons, as this helps to release the chemicals mentioned earlier, and also sets competition and challenge between inmates.

Further to this, it could be said, the type of people who find themselves incarcerated in our prisons, have confused beliefs on life, and once they’re made to feel safe, with sufficient challenge and variety, this is all that’s needed for them to feel some kind of contentment. Potentially imprisonment has challenged (but not changed) their beliefs, and so once released back into the wide world, confusion sets in again, causing them to reoffend.

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Happiness is often an illusion maintained through lifestyle

Coming back to the illusion of happiness for a moment, let’s consider the average man and what he needs to be doing in order to feel happy. How about spending the day watching television, does this work? How about working all week living with the expectation of watching his local football team at the weekend, followed by a few beers when out with his mates? Is this man happy?

The average man would probably tell you that he’s okay with this, and he’d be telling you the truth. Provided his beliefs for happiness are being fulfilled, all is well. His expectations (beliefs) may well be that he must work all week, in order to afford seeing his local team and buy beers later, and when this is the case, he’s sorted. For the average man problems can begin when this pattern is threatened. For the average man, security and stability are the linchpin to his happiness. I would consider these beliefs to be illusory.

“I say this, because there simply wouldn’t be enough variety and challenge in this kind of life, for it to lead to happiness. Once a man raises himself above average, his old beliefs break down into illusory, leading to frustration, dissatisfaction and depression.”

And so to sum up, happiness will be a failing illusion under certain circumstances:

1, When induced by manufactured drugs

2, When governed by old and average beliefs

3, When driven by possessions, habits (good or bad) and security, rather than challenge and change

Happiness is real, lasting and tangible when:

1, We understand it’s ‘released’ from within through challenge, change and variety

2, We’re able to push aside our fear of losing the illusion of security

3, We recognise how the average man imprisons himself through his beliefs

Breaking free? Find true happiness and do so.  

LOVE IS EMPOWERMENT

The Currency of Love

“Of late, once again, I find myself stuck with negative feelings relating to my fellow man. At times it seems so hard to be positive and understanding of others.”

It’s when I feel this way that I know there needs to be some kind of internal change. My cynicism and revulsion perhaps has value in terms of me distancing myself from certain people, the only problem being, I tend to distance myself from everyone.

It’s the horrible generalisation – that all humans are egotistical takers – that’s damaging. Perhaps it’s when we have low self-esteem, and potentially slight depression, that we have such negative opinions of others, perhaps, in fact, we have a downer on ourselves.

Along with negative opinions we must be cautious of the current culture of over-analysing ourselves and others. We seem to be over thinking and over questioning our behaviours. From gender neutral child-rearing (the abuse of experimenting with another person’s life) to the size of our carbon footprint, we all seem to be getting a little bogged down with the detail.

“They say the devil is in the detail. Is it really? Confusion, over-thinking and over-analysis are only adding to our current distress.”

There can be no harm in just taking a step back and taking the time to understand the damage inflicted when our ego’s are out of control. The human will and the human ego are the reasons for so much beauty and also so much ugliness in the world. All we need do, is understand the simple roots, to so many of our problems, and we take out the confusion.

For example, there can be no harm in extracting good, tried and tested methods of child-rearing. Believe it or not mothers and fathers of the past did do some things right. Family units, where children felt secure, due to strong and powerful structure and effective boundaries, are not something we should question as being restrictive.

Building beautiful families (and indeed relationships – the root of a strong family) does in fact take a lot of effort. Is it the use of this effort and energy that so many of us are potentially looking to avoid? If it is, and we don’t want to devote ourselves to investing the necessary energy into building strong families, perhaps we should consider not having them at all.

“All we need is the ability to make this kind of decision by escaping our instinctive programming. There are other things we can do.”

Those of us who come from strong loving families tend to create the same in return. Those who come from strong loving families see the value in them. If we don’t know the value of creating strong relationships and families, we must either learn this, so as to give our children a powerful head-start in life, or simply give up on the idea.

Just never assume you’ll create a loving family if you’ve never experienced one. So if you go it alone, no harm done, enjoy your life and all that. You have permission to be free for God’s sake!

“Whether we like it or not, human children, with their developing ego and willpower, do need the kind of boundaries and structure we might find difficult to enforce.”

As parents we might find enforcing rules difficult through fear of falling out of our children’s favour. It’s a fallacy to think our children need to be our friends though. Enforcing structure and boundaries may at times feel uncomfortable, yet be rest assured, our children will feel more secure and loved as the result. In the long-term, we will reap the rewards – in society as a whole – when we once again embrace and understand the need for structure and boundaries when raising our children.

On recently reading the statistics, for the amount of young children referred to doctors for gender related issues, a little tremor of fear spread through my body: literally the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Children’s minds are simply not developed enough to be left to themselves to decide what sex they want to be. Nature is easily relied upon when we are unsure as parents: if your child has a penis it’s a boy, and if the alternative of a vagina, it’s a girl. Simple. We socialise our children as boys and girls to create a type of balanced structure within society.

“When we project our dislike, or biased opinions and beliefs of what it is to be a man or a woman, we mold our children into being what they become: a reflection of those same beliefs and biased opinions no matter what genitals they’re born with.”

Uncertainty and confusion comes with growing up, it’s up to us, as parents, to help our children remove confusion and uncertainty – and not through a surgeon’s knife and injected hormones – but through love of ourselves and the opposite sex. Things are becoming so horribly complicated.

This brings me onto the recent stories surrounding sexual harassment. If, as a woman, you were raised with the belief and expectation that you’re simply an object of man’s desire, and its then up to you to manipulate and use this desire, you are then complicit in any kind of abuse. If you’re frightened of not getting that next promotion or acting role (same distinction) and so sleep with the director through this fear, you are then complicit.

“On the other hand, if your mother taught you that you’re a free individual, who will naturally be desired by men – and yet gave you the knowledge of how to use this in a constructive, not submissive or negative way – then you’re simply playing the game of life.”

When playing the game, to the extent you open your legs, more fool you. A good slap to the face of any potential abuser will do more to gain respect, all you need, in this instance, is less fear and a little more courage. Good, loving and strong mothers, instill this into the minds of our daughters.

The currency of love is the most valuable of all. This currency equips our children with the tools that enable them to push aside their ego and allow their will to prevail. In other words, the next acting role or job, is something to be gained due to high self-esteem and a powerful will, awarded through love in childhood. Our ego can be blind to the damage we can cause ourselves through striving for greatness.

“We love our children through setting strong boundaries and effective structure so they may flourish in their adult lives.”

Yes add colour to their lives by allowing them to be children, yet the black and white, of yes or no, rather than maybe, is equally as important. The currency of love has far greater value than we realise, all we need do, is understand how to implement it.

So much rebellion, so many fighting what they see as conformity. Love can never be allowing our children to run riot. Love can never be allowing our children to try and raise themselves. Children must have the security of structure and boundaries so they may grow into adults that contribute to a society that considers the needs of all. Remaining as rebellious children and then having children of our own is perpetuating confusion and disorder.

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Some might say that none of this matters. They may well be right and yet those of us who remember (instead of choosing to forget) the pain and fear, that comes with insecurity, loneliness and the disorder broken families create, think that it does matter. It matters a lot. It matters to our children. A person is free to choose who they are and what they want in life provided they are free of confusion. We constantly witness the troubled lives of adults with childhoods devoid of structure, love, boundaries and the effective guidance from powerful role models. It starts with you.

Guilt and Hotspots (the empowerment conflict)

In a post entitled Ahhhhhhh… got me again! One of our members enlightened us to someone who enjoyed humiliating men. We’re glad to report that he hasn’t yet murdered her, however, if he’s allowed to stew much longer, we fear the worst. So with this in mind, we’re going to help him understand the, ‘for some strange reason’ of his predicament a little better.

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Hotspots!

We all have hotspots. That is to say, we all have some unresolved issues, buried deep within us, that others inadvertently tap into from time to time. If you haven’t yet read the post in question, then please do, and we’ll see you on your return.

Okay, welcome back. Now, as our member mentioned, he fully realises the issues Jilly potentially carries around with her, to include: loneliness, lack of confidence, love and a tendency to get off on humiliating people. A defence mechanism (or means to get people to reject her) no doubt taught her by the adults around her during childhood. What our member must also realise (to stave of the desire for murder) is that during his childhood he will of also witnessed those around him experiencing humiliation.

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Stock Humiliation

Perhaps mother humiliated father, or the other way round, and he, as a sensitive child, also felt this. Perhaps this humiliation went further and he also experienced it from his peers. Unable to defend himself, as a child, whenever similar feelings are aroused within him, as an adult, anger is the result (outward expression of fear). It would seem the inability to defend himself against humiliation is still prevalent, resulting in, (dramatic drum roll please) murder in mind. It has been known for passive-aggressive people to resort to murder when their ‘kettle-boils-over,’ so to speak. Oh we hope we’ve saved you Jilly, you poor, lonely lass.

Finding hotspots, through the annoying traits of loveless people, can be a bit of a double edged sword; an empowerment conflict. We want to hate them, and we even harbour murderous thoughts, yet the fact remains, they’ve taught us something very useful and empowering about ourselves. They’ve raised to the surface some unresolved issue from our childhood, and once we’ve dealt with this, there can only be healthy repercussions.

Healthy, because the more we know about ourselves, the more we’re able to find calm peace of mind. Peace of mind can only be found when we’re one with ourselves; when we’re whole. So, Dear Mr Angry member, Jilly is a blessing to you my friend, so please don’t kill her.

When it comes to issues of unresolved guilt – and because we’re in a generous mood today – the conflict here is, that fully understanding the negative destructiveness of guilt, actually leaves us feeling a little frightened.

Frightened, because to suggest repressed guilt, increases our chances of becoming ill prematurely, and further suggests we have no choice. The reality is the opposite. If we were to give you examples of how guilt has led to cancer you would refuse to believe us (yet be assured there are many), so we’re not going to do that. What we will do though, is help you understand this: when we take responsibility for how we create our own disease – through repressing our guilt – we actually empower ourselves through increased choice.

“The guilt is the root – and the unhealthy lifestyle – the mechanism by which we’re shortening our lives.”

Even though this is the case, we could also give you examples of people who’ve died through repressing guilt, who actually led reasonably healthy lives. We’ll give you just one example to ponder on. You may remember this person: Jade Goody. Think about how long it took for her to die after the world taught her to feel guilty about her racism, bigotry and ignorance; racism and bigotry she will have been taught in childhood from those around her. If our parents were racist, there is a strong likelihood that on some level, we will be too. Many cancers are rooted in our childhood experiences, and to face this as fact, can be a very frightening reality.

“Therefore it’s much easier for us to see cancer as something that is beyond our control, with its roots lying anywhere other, than within our own bodyminds.”

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The current trend for researchers, geneticists and scientists to seek the cure for cancers – and many other diseases for that matter – as being rooted in understanding and changing our genes, is in fact correct, but only when we also see our genes, as something inherited through the bodymind link, and our life-experiences.

Those around us always hold the key to understanding ourselves better. Humans really do need each other, and the more annoying, the better. So get out there!

The Art of Fuckology

“Why would you want to live a good life doing the right thing? What do you actually have to gain?”

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Ouch! That hurts

If you talk to people about corruption, sexism, racism or any form of injustice and inequality, they’ll tell you: “oh it’s everywhere, but what can you do?” It’s as if it’s an accepted aspect of humanity. Why is this accepted? In addition to this, how is it the corrupt, sexist, racist lairs of the world, seem to have it so good, while the rest of us struggle on regardless? How is it we seem able to accept this? In particular, here in the UK, we even place these kinds of people, at the top of our hierarchical systems. Princess and princesses, kings and queens, lords and sirs, taking us up the rear, as we lie face down, biting into the pillows of denial and ignorance.

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There was a time when we feared harming, using and abusing other humans. Fear and guilt were the control rod, yet now this is fading, (the church spectacularly failing in its duty) what is to replace this control mechanism? Perhaps, if the just and the good were less accepting of the rife abuse in the world today, things would be different. One thing’s for sure, some of us are getting very tired, of feeling like we’re being made fools of.

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The art of fuckology, is all about understanding how to gain the upper hand over the abusers. Here at The Freedman College we ask: what is it we need to do, to start winning the game, and the battle for freedom?

Initially, it involves questioning our thinking, and opening our minds to the alternatives. Never accepting the norms, and never accepting abuse, means we need to break free from the pack: become less of a sheep and more of a wolf.

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Next, we must question established patterns. Be these patterns our ways of life, ways of thinking, or ways we find to excuse ourselves of our duty. Yep, that’s right, duty. It has to be all of our duties, to bring on the necessary changes required, to stop the current system of abuse.

“The Art of Fuckology happens within the individual. You’ll see them, those who’ve mastered it. You’ll notice their differences. You’ll notice they’re healthy and free, it’s as if they glow in the fucking dark!”

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Fuckology says: I’m no longer going to put up with being fucked over by the abusers of this world. We raise our awareness of the users and abusers and we simply cut them out of our lives. In other words we fuck, the fucking fuckers, by cutting their influence out. These fuckers are afraid of being lonely and we need to make that fear their reality. Simple.

We may face some problems along the way. At this time, the system is so biased, and set to advantage the abusers, that if we try to cease all of the abuse, immediately, we could end up in prison. So cleverness, cunning and caution is advised. For example, the media of television is currently fucking up your life, and your licence fee is being used for immoral purposes (for proof see today’s UK news.) So don’t just stop paying for your TV licence, that is illegal. The solution is to get rid of your television all together. Sound hard? Not if you put your mind to it, and besides, you have our support. Be assured, it will be an effective fuckology. You will simply cut out the influence of the fuckers.

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In answer to our initial questions, what we have to gain from living good lives, and doing the right thing by others, will never be a place within the fiction of heaven. What we have to gain, is the creation of a heaven within our own world and our own minds. It starts with you. Make a decision, about who and what you allow into your life, and that of our children’s.

Lose the fear. More fuckology advice to follow, soon.

A Working Class Mentality Defined

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There’s a certain individual here in the UK, who believes in the rights of the working classes; his name is Jeremy Corbyn; he’s the leader of the political party called labour. There’s something about this man that makes me slightly uncomfortable. Perhaps it’s his habit of getting quieter when he gets angry. I don’t know about you, but when I’ve gotten angry in the past, my voice has grown louder, not quieter.

“If the emotion of anger is being felt at all, by any leader, we should all see this as a definite no no. Anger, on any level, is fuelled by fear. And we need to understand: The fearless are no less passionate, they’re just calm about it, as true passion is fuelled by love.”

 

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When it comes to the working class mentality, we can sum this up relatively easily: unconfident victims, who have very low expectations of life. The belief that there are better or worse people in life is of course driven by the very thing they’re failing to see: ignorance. According to Plato “what I do not know I do not think I know” or  “I know that I know nothing” was something, the well known Greek philosopher Socrates stated. With this in mind, it can be said, true wisdom is the knowledge that in real terms, all of us actually know nothing. The working classes are unaware of this; unaware of their own ignorance.

Once we become aware of our ignorance we see that this is the only true difference between humans. The unfortunate reality, is that the likes of Jeremy Corbyn, also fall into this category. Were Jeremy Corbyn to open his eyes, he would see that all he’s in fact doing, is pandering to the negative and limiting beliefs of the ignorant. He would also see, spending more on the things that take power from the individual, only goes on to weaken them further. When we believe that there are better or worse people than us, this belief, keeps us stuck in this expectation. It keeps us as victims.

Of course there are the ruling elite (something Corbyn talks of) however, to think that these people are in some way ‘better’ than us, is limiting. They’re not better than us they’re just better at exploiting our weaknesses. They’re better at taking our power. They do this through helping us nurture our beliefs, that educated people are more powerful, or actually know more than we do. They do not. Just because someone has been to university and trained to be a doctor, for example, does not mean they know more about you at all.

Remember, in real terms, we’re all ignorant, and the elite know this. And so what it really means is they have greater knowledge of themselves and the belief this gives them superiority over others. For some, this belief empowers them to carry less fear. One thing the elite are very good at, is teaching us to be afraid; when we’re afraid, we’re powerless.

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When the average Jo sits back and really thinks about how to live a good, virtuous and healthy life, he’s able to come up with the goods. Remaining ignorant is a choice he takes simply because it seems the easiest path. A path he’s directed along by the elite.

For example, when in the supermarket, an ignorant, fearful victim, doesn’t fill his trolley with healthy goods, he fills it with processed crap. The processed crap he’s been led to believe is cheaper and easier to cook. The elite, in this instance, are the advertising agents and food manufacturing companies. All organisations that feed on the fear and ignorance of the working classes.

What Corbyn is failing to understand, is that the only cure to elitism – so the working classes may live better lives – is to educate the ignorant. The key to this change is to educate future parents. In other words, our children need to be informed as to how they hand over their power to the elite; Jeremy Corbyn included.

It can simply never be in the best interest of the working classes for governments to plough billions of pounds into public services. All this does is line the pockets of those working within the public sector. Only through a program, of teaching children how their minds work, and how they limit themselves through their beliefs, we will find change. Empowerment is about equipping individuals with the tools they need to thrive.

We hand power back to the individual by teaching them the importance of personal responsibility. It’s the individuals responsibility to care for themselves not government. The individual is equipped to care for themselves when they’re shown examples of how to do this by their parents.

When humans continue to choose the easy options, they will always have their power surreptitiously removed, by those who understand that pleasure and pain are both intrinsic to life. Yes there is pain, yes we often need to do things we dislike, and yes, we all need the courage to become fully grown adults. We remain as children as long as there are those who treat us as such.

Many a dependant child is used and abused by its parents. If we remain as dependent children in adulthood (the working classes) we will be used and abused by those who are fully grown. Sound unbelievable? This is the unfortunate reality of the human condition. Grow, break free from the ignorance of your ignorance, and free yourself.

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Take the Easy Route

“​Today is going to be filled with good news, yep good news all around, and I’m going to start with a blinder (or eye opener depending on your perspective)”

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This good news I’m sharing with you, starts to take real effect, when we help each other shatter some very limiting beliefs and illusions. The first illusion I’m going to help you remove (so you may help others) is the one concerning comfort and ease.

Currently most of us believe we are living a life that is built on making our experience of it as comfortable as possible, that is to say, the system – or patterns of thinking we’re following –  are the one’s designed to make life easy and comfortable.

To expand, consider what is meant by the term ‘Social Norms.’ Fitting in with social norms means we’re following the path of least resistance, and as such, you may think this is the easiest way to live life: to fit in.

There is the illusion, right there. What if the reality, of the social norms most of us are living under, were in fact one of the most difficult ways of life? What, if the world we’ve built around ourselves, was in fact designed by a limited few, simply for their own comfort? What if the lives, the majority of us live out, were in fact the tedious trudge of struggling to find something that will always remain an illusion.

Think of the man working night shifts in a hotel. He calls into his local newsagent, every morning to spend a massive percentage of his wage on lottery tickets, in the hope of escaping his horrible life: illusion. Think of all the gentle souls wondering when it will be ‘their turn’ to get some kind of lucky break, a lucky break that involves happiness through money and lifestyle: illusion.

“It’s when we’re striving for equality – in this regard – that makes life hard. Chasing illusions is the hardest way to live and the easy path was the one we’ve been told to stay clear of. Social Norm?”

It’s my belief, the key to living a life to its fullest – and not necessarily form joy to joy or leisure to pleasure (like it or not, we must have some challenges and pain in life) – is freedom.

“The kind of freedom I’m talking of here is freedom of thought. When or thinking is expanded, beyond social norms, we’re then able to see the difficulties therein.”

In other words by questioning established patterns of thinking we free our minds to look elsewhere. Let me explain:

It’s often the case that those who drop-out from society are seen as living a very difficult existence. Images of sleeping rough, drinking problems, mental health issues etc. come to mind. What though, of those individuals who live outside social norms, and yet thrive? I’m talking, of course, about artists.

Those who live a creative life, and not just a life that has creativity in it, one that is creative as a whole, live freer lives. To put it another way, those who live their whole lives in a creative manner, live freer lives.

“To live creatively is to live against social norms, in fact, there are those who would say that social norms stifle creativity.”

At it’s base level, one of the most influential factors to living and thinking freely, is belief. Questioning beliefs, built by a system that favours the few, is where we must begin.

Consider how religious beliefs only truly favour the few. It’s those at the top of the hierarchical systems, built into religions, that are favoured. These people scam a seemingly effortless, comfortable life, at the expense of all others. This is achieved by maintaining control of the masses through fear and guilt.

These precious few, at the top of the religious hierarchical systems, continue to con us into believing they’re working for God. Be assured, they are not, they’re working for themselves.

“They’re self-employed decorators who constantly need to paint over the cracks of their lies, hypocrisy and deceit. I wouldn’t allow them near my house, would you?”

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We believe in this when we’re kept in a system of control through fear and guilt that belongs in the past

Helping others question their beliefs is one of my missions in life. It continues here. Notice these two pictures:

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We experience this when we believe life is about having
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We experience this when we believe life is about giving

Once empowered through knowledge and understanding, what we choose to believe, can be up to us. All we need do, is begin to question where, when and how we learned what we believe. Our beliefs then become only something we believed back then, and in the present moment now. The future? The future is up to us and what we choose to make it.​

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Image Credited To: Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/source/bobbybones.com

Living a freer life, really can be this simple, when we think creatively.

Understand Confusion

The Insanity of Confusion

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Understand by Taking out the Con-fusion.

This is a subject I’ve written about before, yet feel it so important, that returning to it once again, has become a necessity.

“It’s almost as if confusion is the goal, and I find this interpretation, terrifying.”

Over the last ten years of my life, the direction in which I’ve been headed, has shifted and changed many times. The main reason for this has been uncertainty – of the best route to follow – and so testing, or tasting the flavour, of each potential direction, has been important.

This differs in some respects to being, and remaining, in a state of uncertainty or confusion. Total confusion is a feeling I have experienced. During absolute confusion the mind loses itself, for a short time, until something forms for the mind to grab hold of. A clear concept or idea, that the mind can hold to, takes us out of confusion.

Let’s use the following example. Imagine being on the phone with an insurance agent. This insurance agent is considered to be the most successful salesman in the customer-service-telesales office. His technique is to confuse. He offers the customer so many different options and delivers these options, and his questions, in a rapid quick-fire manner.

So confused are his customers, after a five minute, mostly one-way conversation, that they’d swear an allegiance to Donald-gamesmaster-Trump, and give vast amounts of their cash for a shit insurance policy, to boot. In fact, confusion – in a controlled, clinical environment – is a phenomena well understood by the skilled Hypnotherapist, who uses it to induce a hypnotic state, to then instill positive suggestions for change!

“This differs greatly to the confusion generated by a skilled insurance agent.”

Once our salesman has confused and bamboozled us sufficiently, he then presents us with an option, that isn’t necessarily for our benefit, or anything to do with our better good, but is only for his benefit through upping the size of his monthly bonus. The confused and tired mind blindly accepts.

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When the general public are confused – and potentially confused out of living their lives to the full, and spending money wisely – the overall effect is control. When we neither know whether we’re coming or going, so to speak, the end result is often to simply do nothing, or worst still, just follow any option for a quiet life. Some of us are so confused we’re disempowered to the point of submission to the powers that be.

“If you don’t have control over your mind, someone else will.”    

A submissive, confused society, is the ideal society to govern as they’ll pretty much accept any decisions made, simply for a quiet life. How tired and confused are we at receiving the conflicting messages we currently do?

Spend time in a supermarket, clothes shop or even a bed showroom and notice the confusing amount of choice. When confronted by so much choice what do we do? Do we make a wise decision, or one that gets us out of a confusing and uncomfortable situation?

Too many options and confusing conflicting advice is detrimental to our health. Ask yourself this: what is the outcome to constant, tiring confusion? Compliance? You bet it is.

When we take the time to simplify our lives, looking back, we can clearly see the state of confusion most people are in. As a species I believe we need structure, guidance and boundaries, that are based on the opposite of control: Freedom.

“Structure, guidance and appropriate boundaries, have nothing to do with being controlled by others, and everything to do with teaching us how to control our minds so we may set ourselves free, from the constraints of confusion.”

We find freedom when we notice – through raising our awareness – the volume of conflict and confusion there currently is in the world today. We must never take the easy route, and submit to following the crowd, because we’re confused. Break free, notice and decide.

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The White-Hot Rage Of My Higher-Self

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The White-Hot Rage Of My Higher-Self is Seeking to Understand

I feel angry most of the time. Yeah I know, it’s crazy isn’t it? “How and why do you feel angry most of the time?” I hear you ask. Well, I’ll get to that.

I recently read a story about the author Terry Pratchett. He said – of discovering he had alzheimer’s – that he felt angry. Well, I don’t have alzheimer’s disease, yet I can understand Terry Pratchett’s anger, and not just his anger in the moment and months following his diagnosis, I understanding by tracing it back to his childhood.

At school Terry Pratchett was bullied and told by someone – as he put it: “three foot taller than myself” – that he’d come to nothing because he couldn’t read or right by the time he was six. During the course of his life, Pratchett set about proving that person wrong, and he most certainly succeeded. In recent times, so enraged was he, on being diagnosed with alzheimer’s, that he went on to write a further seven novels and his autobiography. I believe the root to his anger, and potentially the root to his dis-ease, was in fact traceable to one experience.

“We can be provoked into action through some unexpected means.”

It could be said, the very reason Terry Pratchett was so successful, can be directly attributed to the provocation he experienced as a child: A reversed psychology, that he decided to see as unintentional, from a person three foot taller than himself. Of course we can never know whether it was intentional provocation or not.

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My Higher-Self Hungers to Understand

“So to the root of my anger. I have plenty of reasons to be angry. It would be pointless boring you, by going into all that unnecessary detail and I have no wish to emulate the symptoms of alzheimer’s, by going round and round in circles for you.”

Suffice to say, I decided to release the anger, from certain experiences during my childhood, many moons ago. This was achieved through understanding the failures, of the people around me at that time, as being due to their ignorance. This doesn’t make it right, what it does do though, is give me air:

“The air to breath so I may help free others from the damage ignorance can cause.”

I mainly do this, by looking to avoid the intellectualization, so many academics seem to be unwittingly falling into.

“It’s easy to understand when those explaining it have nothing to prove.”

So, back to my anger. I do it to myself. Yes, that’s right, there are times when I can feel myself walking into situations, where I’m going to prove, how horrible human beings are. Sometimes my anger is the anger I feel at my own disappointment. Yep. In other words, I feel angry at myself, for feeling disappointed in human beings. I question what right I have in feeling disappointed. I have no right to f**cking judge anyone. See the anger again?

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All in all, one thing I am aware of is my higher self. It’s this higher self that looks to bring me into situation where I’ll feel angry. Take the experience of the ill-mannered lady mentioned in my ranting post: Just The Average Human Then, I didn’t need to try and drive into the space occupied by her.

By standing in a parking space, I knew she was trying to jump the queue, as it were, yet I drove on causing myself to become annoyed at her unthinking bad manners and ignorance. Her desire to overpower me, and all others who might have happened along before me, rightfully deserving that parking space, annoyed me: I’m angry at the injustice of it all. I’m angry at people and their constant need to f**cking overpower me or take my power away. I’m still angry at ALL the f**cking bullies of the world. I feel as if it’s become a one man crusade against ignorance and help all others understand the human will to power.

It is in fact very hard to resolve issues of bullying. If you feel victimised and bullied, and have felt this all your life, it quite possibly lies in one experience from childhood, that has then been compounded by many others as you’ve moved through life. We can look to resolve the bullying, through helping free others from this pain, and yet ultimately, unless we’re really able to deal with our own demons, the damage, of feeling powerless through fear, can remain far reaching.

So we go on. We look to right the wrongs, and find a way to use our anger in a constructive way, that’s beneficial to others. One thing to bear in mind, those who look to take your power, through whatever means – and be assured there are many – are the truly powerless. If that woman – standing in my parking space – had power of her own, she’d have told her husband to go f**ck himself and wait in the queue (with his car) like everyone else. Besides, I have so much power  – derived from my desire to understand – I’ve plenty to give away:

“You’re Welcome, and remember, the truly powerless are those who look to bully you out of yours. They’re the frightened ones. Help them release their fear by understanding them. This is called LOVE and love will show you how they too had their power taken, at a time when they were also vulnerable. Help them feel powerful, by empowering them, with love.”

Structure

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Take back freedom by tacking responsibility for our children

When did it become okay for teachers, doctors, nurses, police, social workers etc. to become the parents of our children? When was the responsibility of parenting handed over? It is most definitely inappropriate for this to be happening.

Why are we having children when all we want to do is go to work, live our lives, and have fun? Are we ever going to understand, handing over the responsibilities of parenting to the authorities, is a recipe for disaster?

“When parents fail at their responsibilities to care and protect our children, society begins to break down, and this happens from the very foundations up.”

Whether we like it or not, throughout our lives  – or at the bare minimum childhood – we humans, need structure and guidance. Without this we become lost and directionless. Is chaos beginning to find its way into a misguided and unstructured society? Because when we’re chaotic, unstructured and unevolved, fear becomes the prevalent force.

The methods we then use, to combat fear and disorder, are the things we have at our instant disposal: money, consumerism, drugs etc. We are then, of course, only exacerbating the problem. Anything easily to hand, that eases our fear, will be utilised. This may include sex, and as all adults should know – yet are failing to inform the children – when we have unprotected sex, we may, either catch and transmit a virus, and/or get pregnant, and so the cycle goes on. Children raising children.

The danger, of then handing on the responsibility of raising and educating children to government, is that we become a little like farmyard animals. Fodder for the elite to feed off.

It’s never been the job of government to parent us, its job, is to govern. The welfare state has become a little confused – or have they? This potential confusion does need addressing. It doesn’t start with classes on parenting, or even classes on relationships. It starts with understand one simple principle:

“If we, as individuals, continue to fail, in taking responsibility for ourselves and children, someone else will do this for us. That someone then has control over us.”

Believe it or not, this is already happening, and yet there seems to be only a small number of people, who are able to read/hear/see the signs.

Are you one of those people, or are you contented, fodder?

And here we all are, believing, we’re free. Fools, all of us. We must take back our freedom by taking responsibility for ourselves and our children, or are you a contented, drunken, slave?

Now Wash Your Hands

“It’s not love that hurts, it’s loss or fear or guilt that creates this pain. We must never fear loving people for the pain we believe it may create.”

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Only love can hurt like this?

Take for example the guilt, pain and loss that’s caused through infidelity. When our partner is unfaithful we must never confuse the pain we feel as love. It’s the loss of our illusions that hurts.

Alternatively, if it’s us that have been unfaithful – and guilty because of this – we must make ourselves aware: an understanding of love is ultimately what we were seeking through our infidelity. We’re all constantly seeking to understand, when we understand it, we have it for ourselves; we find it within ourselves.

We are healed by love, never through recrimination, revenge or anger. If you click on the above image you’ll be taken to a very powerful, emotive song. ‘Love is torture makes me more sure’ is a powerful lyric, and yet the torture we experience, is our confusion of love.

You might think: ‘It’s just a lyric in a song man’ and if you do, hold on, because you’ll be underestimating the power of music.

Music is an expression of the human soul. Why do you think we hold musical artists in such high regard? Listen, and it’ll become clear who Paloma Faith loves: the people who’ve empowered her.

Youth and inexperience are the main culprits for painful relationships. When we understand that love is empowerment, we’ll be able to make some very useful decisions, well before the pain of losing illusions is experienced. We’ll not be setting up the illusions in the first place.

“When you truly love someone, all you’ll ever want to do, is empower them.”

Manipulation, control and gameplay are all there when we fear. Fear is in direct opposition to love. For clarity, hear this: when we look to care for another adult – because we believe we love them – we’re making a mistake. Caring and empowerment are two very different things.

“To love a child is to provide the most appropriate care and attention, to love an adult, is to empower them. We do this through loving and respecting ourselves as fully grown individuals.”

You may of seen or heard of those people who enable morbidly obese people through cooking copious amounts of unhealthy food for them. Or perhaps you’ve heard of those who buy drugs, (alcohol or whatever) for others, in the belief they’re helping and caring for them. This kind of enablement is created through fear, confusion of love, weakness and guilt. So often we keep our fellow adults stuck through caring for them in the belief we love them through caring.

“Teaching a fellow adult how to be a responsible, guilt free, whole human being, is to empower and love them.”

Love is empowerment, and as such an expression of love, is an act that’s free of guilt, fear and control. Consider the church and its leaders. They believe they love us, when in fact all they’re doing, is disempower and controlling us through their antiquated teachings and beliefs. Treat people like they’re fools and what will you get?

“The continuation of archaic beliefs keeps the mind stagnant.”

We can set ourselves free by washing our hands of antiquated ideals, teachings and confusion. Literally, go and wash your hands now, you no longer need the past, there is only now.

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“Now we can understand: if you love someone, all you’ll ever want to do, is empower them, all the other nonsense is illusion created through fear.”

If you enjoy drama and the soap operas of life, you’ll no doubt be disappointed right now, however, when we remove all the childish nonsense from life, there are so many beautiful, imaginative and loving things we can be better getting on with – right now.

finding clarity

Take Your Mind Out of Confusion

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The key to finding clarity is specifics. Be specific, ask yourself: ‘What specifically do I want?’

We live in confusing times. We’re constantly receiving mixed messages from those around us. Be it politicians, work colleagues, managers or peers, all seem to be telling us different things, and giving us conflicting advice.

The media are most to blame in terms of these confused and mixed  messages. You might wonder why this is. Why do the media and so many others seem to be sending such confusion out? The short answer to that question is, they’re simply confused themselves.

Let’s take a recent example: The fifa debacle over poppies and the right of football players to display them on Armistice day. Fifa’s secretary general, Fatma Samoura stated: “Britain is not the only country that has been suffering from the result of war.” If you think about this statement for a moment, you’ll see how it politicises the whole issue. The very reason fifa cited for banning the display of poppies in the first place. It brings to mind the expression ‘all criticism is self-criticism.’ There is nothing further to say of Fatma and her response.

“So confusion is something constantly sent out from the confused. We can ask: Why are so many people currently living in a state of confusion? What does confusion actually do for us?”

If we’re maintaining a state of mind, or it’s being maintained by the forces that be, we can be sure that it’s serving some kind of purpose. Believe it or not, confusion can be seen to have value. Consider what’s being done, and what changes are actually taking place, whilst we’re all confused? Exactly. Nothing.

When we’re confused, unsure of which direction to take, or which choice to make, the best response is often to just freeze and do nothing. We’re being kept in a kind of stasis through confusion. It’s either that, or we make bad decision, and take the worst choices, through being ill informed,  

The remedy or antidote, obviously, is to take our minds out of this state by finding clarity. We do this through specifics and then listening to the correct guidance. The correct guidance comes from our own clear thinking. We have clear thinking when we exclude the confused messages. In other words, decide to block out mixed, confused and conflicting messages.

Here, is a clear, exact and important message for clarity:

“The confused are those who are frightened. They’re frightened because they have little control over their own minds and ego. Their grasping battle for power over others, is being played out through sending out confused, mixed and conflicting messages. There’s currently a vicious downward cycle of confusion being perpetuated, through their fear, of losing control.”

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Take back control through the rule of exclusion (see my previous post) and you’ll find instant relief. Once in a clear calm, rational state of mind, ask yourself again: ‘What specifically do I want?’