How to gain love and respect from your children and help them find beautiful lives.
Wow, that’s some how-to. Even so, it’s not actually that difficult, to achieve. There is a simple formula to it. As with most things, that initially seem complicated, once we break them down into their basic elements, and take out the nonsense and confusion, all becomes clear.
There is obviously much to learn about parenting, and all this post is seeking to do, is set some very basic ground rules for success. So here we go.
1, Take on board parental responsibility
Life for us humans is complicated, and learning how to successfully navigate it, is an ongoing process. Children can’t possibly know what’s best for them until they reach a certain age and maturity. It’s safe to say, as parents, we may be guiding our children all their lives. We can only gain their respect through being well informed ourselves. We must never restrict them through the limitations of our own ignorance. It simply isn’t appropriate or acceptable to say: it was good enough for me so it’s good enough for them. That is just lazy, and a means of justifying, our ignorance. If you want the respect, of your children, start reading.
2, Love is setting appropriate boundaries
Some parents control their children because they are weak and unable to control much else in life except vulnerable children. Thankfully, most parents, rather than control their kids, set boundaries through love and the need for their children to thrive.
Making children our friends is inappropriate; they need you as parents not friends. Other children are to be their friends. It can be very difficult to set the correct boundaries if we fear upsetting children or losing their friendship. So no, they are not your best friend, they are a child. Setting boundaries is showing them that you love them as children, and want them to be able to exert self-discipline, once they are grown. If you currently don’t have much self-discipline, learn how to gain it.
Setting boundaries involves helping children understand the rules of cause and effect. For example, if they’re being overly exposed to material that might damage them, because of their naivety and inexperience, they might make bad choices. The ability to make good choices in life comes from experience and the ability to reason things out. Extremism happens when options are limited. Only being exposed and listening to one point of view is never wise.
Children need to experience a range of options before making well reasoned choices. They become well reasoned through understanding the importance of self-awareness. They must be made aware of their naivety. They must understand that it is time and experience that enables wise choices in life. Until they have this, you must be strong enough, and respected enough, to make sensible decisions for them.
3, Be a beautiful example
Have interests, be creative and above all, love yourself. Recognise that it’s only when you, as a parent, can demonstrate to your children – what it is to love yourself and life – will they find this for themselves. If you are currently troubled by life (in whatever capacity) find a way to shield the child’s mind from this. Our children’s minds are delicate and vulnerable sponges. Our problems become theirs if we fail to protect them.
Be aware of the dangers of projecting your own prejudices and shortcomings onto the child’s mind. Whether aware of it or not, much of what you are has been moulded by both the negatives and positives, of your own childhood experiences. We cannot wholly protect children from the pain and troubles of life, yet we can look to shield them from the worst of it, until their minds are better equipped.
Within this beautiful example, there is obviously the subject of relationships, to consider. Your close relationships, and those with the people who surround you, are being closely monitored by your children. They are hungry to know how to behave around others, and will be watching and learning, from you. If you’ve not yet looked to improve these relationships, do so now, and you will be helping your children to form healthy, functional relationships, in their future. Consider Create Beautiful Partnerships as the groundwork for this necessary improvement.
Thanks for your time and good luck.