The Lack of Conversation


Cut Through the Charade

We humans have devised many games. From card games and scrabble to those played out on the world stage, all thought up, as a means of entertaining the human mind. Our games are useful in many ways: entertainment and honing healthy competitive spirit, make just two examples.

“It could be said that the majority of human interaction is a form of gameplay”

We could take the average conversation between two men as example. A conversation might start off harmless enough but then easily develop into an ego driven pissing contest. Who’s got the biggest house, prettiest wife, most powerful, biggest means of transport, most money, best job etc., is quite often the theme of idle ‘chat’ between men. Gameplay.

This is exactly what could have happened to me last night if I’d of allowed it. A gentle hello could very easily have turned into a ‘who’s got the biggest cock’ contest. However, if you’ve no need or desire to get your cock out and start measuring, this sort of conversation is very easily cut short. Ego driven gameplay is often at the root of most conversations between homo sapiens (Latin: wise men).

“Ego driven conversation is often awkward and stilted – and mostly one way – especially when one of the participants is seeking to build self-esteem at the cost of another”

Most people are only talking to themselves and have very little interest in what you have to say. It often takes a lot of skill and determination to remain silent and allow ego driven gameplay to fizzle out. Eventually, everybody tires of talking to themselves. In fact, it’s only when we take a real interest in what someone has to say, does it stop being a game. 

“Surly it would be easier to get your cocks out and have a good look”

One other strategy would be to repeat back the very words someones using. Obviously not verbatim, but now and again, cleverly adding different inflection to their words. You could probably do this for some time until the dullard realises you’re taking the piss. Be warned though, they might get very angry and frustrated at your cruelty, bad manners, and offensive attitude.

A Beautiful Conversation

This type of conversation is rare, very rare indeed. It’s where there’s a common interest or theme and each person has a deep respect and appreciation for the opinions, passions and beliefs, of the other. It happens when your’re listening and being listened to.

If you’d like to learn and experience this kind of conversation you will need to meet us in person. You can find your application form here. I’m listening.

Expensive Habits

“My counterpart at The Freedman College – Phil Whittingham – spent many years working as a Clinical and Analytical Hypnotherapist”

In his capacity as a Clinical Hypnotherapist, he treated many individuals, helping them break bad habits. The most obviously and well known of those is that of smoking.

At that time, twenty years ago, smoking was of course less expensive than it is today. Nevertheless, it was still an expensive habit even then, and so when we think of what it costs to smoke twenty cigarettes a day now, it quite takes the breath away (cough). We’re talking about approximately £3.360 per year.

More than anything, when looking at figures like that, my first thoughts turn to time and energy. How much time do we need to spend at work, earning this money, so we’re then able to pay for something that’s shortening our lives? For most people it’s a no brainer. That said, millions of people still smoke here in the UK. The figures are staggering if you care to look.

“As far as we’re concerned, the crux of the matter, is understanding the root of the issue”

Looking at the figures already mentioned, it’s easy to see the continuance of smoking – and most other addictions – as something that defies logic. It’s illogical, to continue doing something that costs us so much in time and energy, yet we continue. Why?

The simple answer is, this kind of habitual behaviour, is beyond our conscious control. The alternative – a person in full control of their mind – is no doubt puzzled, and somewhat dismayed, by the self-destructive nature of his fellow humans. Puzzled because unless we’ve actually experienced how it feels to have a hopeless addiction, it can be hard to understand, and sympathise with.

Even though we may find it hard, it’s important to remember, much of the root to addiction is driven by a sense of emptiness, guilt and indeed unhappiness. Without the fleeting satisfaction (and relief from guilt) one gets from feeding an addiction, the addicted, feel they’ll have problems coping. The belief is the addiction actually helps them cope. Looked at objectively, in the long term, all unhealthy addictions do in fact worsen the situation. An example of belief defying logic if ever there was one. Beliefs often do this, consider how religious beliefs defy, all logic.

“All things said, the degree of control we have over our minds relates closely to awareness”

Once we’re aware of the root to our addictions and compulsive behaviour we’re better able to gain control. The birthplace of our beliefs and self-destructive behaviour is often buried beneath our conscious awareness. Once we become aware, the affect, is to increase choice. If we’re aware of the driving forces behind self-destructive behaviour, but continue in the same vein, this surley makes it a deliberate act. A different matter entirely.

“A conscious choice, into throwing oneself of a building, is very different to the slow suicide of smoking?”

We can contribute so many destructive patterns, and our seeming inability to control them, to our lack of conscious awareness. Part of gaining full control over our lives, comes from the ability to question the usefulness of compulsive, habitual behaviour. Being able to spend more time doing the things we enjoy, through ridding ourselves of expensive habits, and the feelings and beliefs that drive them, is within everyone’s grasp. We do this through raising the level of our awareness.

It could be that we have no bad habits and yet feel the need for better control over our future plans and life. Either way, we must take some time to consider how time and energy, well invested, can help smooth out and lengthen this extraordinary journey through life.

Right from the off, our unique style of Personal Development, opens up this process through introducing mindfulness and meditation. A well understood method of raising our awareness. Check out our schedule here.

Personal Development – The Rise of Emotional Maturity

Emotional Maturity

“The majority of us have something specific we want to be good at. This, of course, is where the personal element of Personal Development comes into play”

Let’s say your goal was Emotional Maturity. It’s certainly a grand goal to have, and one that benefits not only the individual, but society as a whole. Becoming emotionally mature assists your life and the lives of many. Just being around someone who has this development in mind is a refreshing and beneficial place to be.

From our standpoint, emotional maturity, is based on wholeness. Wholeness is achieved through raised awareness of the self and drivings. Emotional maturity has been achieved, when our drivings become less self-centered, and more concerned with the greater good. This is a fabulous marker for recognising our own maturity. What are your true motivations?  

“Setting great examples to those around us is also an indication of our emotional maturity”

There is so much we can do, that sets great example, to demonstrate this. Take for example picking up rubbish from the streets. If we do this angrily, looking to shame the litter bugs, it defeats the objective. Alternatively, picking up after others, then calmly placing it in bins, sets good example. We’re able to do this when guided by a maturity that understands this kind of behaviour also gets noticed. And better still, it gets noticed, in a positive light. It’s setting this type of good example that makes the difference to those who are less mature than ourselves. They need our positive influence.

To continue with the emotion of anger, as example for a moment, we can know that becoming angry, through the inconsiderate and unthinking behaviour of others, is only useful when directed in a constructive way. It’s only when we direct our annoyance – away from the unthinking child – but at the root of the problem (immature parenting) will we effect change. Emotional maturity dictates we do this, not by shouting and blaming, but through understanding.

To explain further, let’s bring things down another level: What is at the root of immature parenting? Statistics give us a clue to this. Birth rates amongst the poorest in society are on the rise. Why is this? The belief that lack of money equals lack of opportunity may well have a bearing on this. An unthinking attitude to life – only barely self-aware, and as such subservient to our instinctive drivings – obviously limits our options and opportunities.

“It’s not the amount of money we have that dictates this, it’s whether or not we’re able to see the alternatives, through being shown good example”

It is possible to live a full, creative and happy life, without being wealthy? Indeed it is, and all we need now, are more people setting good example of how this is done. Emotional maturity is the start and a prerequisite to all of the above.   

The Positive and Negative of What We Do


“Our unconscious drivings are a curious thing”

Much, if not most of what we do, is driven unconsciously. When we better understand what these things are, through raising them into our awareness, we increase our choices. It’s that simple: more choice is the reward for looking.

In a previous post we stated: “The Talent is In The Choices.” With this in mind, it can be said, too much choice is a bad thing, however, just as limiting – if not more so – is lack of choice. When we just act instinctively, with no seeming choice in the matter, we’re restricted.

“Too much choice, compared to having more choice through increased awareness, are two very different things”

Think about what you do for a living. It will be, that at some point you made a conscious decision, in what you now do; of course there’s been a conscious decision. However, what we don’t consider, is the unconscious driving behind it.

What we don’t consider, is the unconscious driving, may have been a negative one. Stay with this, it will become clearer.

When we increase are awareness, and find both the unconscious and conscious drivings, we increase choice. The ability to choose between a job – we’ve taken through an unconscious, negative force – or a life enhancing one we’ve taken through being fully aware – would be a beneficial ability, would it not?


“Allow me to explain”

If you follow this blog, you’ll potentially be aware of the personal journey held within. In a recent post I spoke of my activities on weekday mornings. As a result of writing my thoughts down, I’ve now become aware of the negative drivings for this activity. The result is an increase in choice. I now understand the deeper purpose to my activities. Much of the deeper purpose was an unconscious method of communication. Let me explain further.

Obviously, I despise being abused by members of the general public, who doesn’t. If you work, or have ever worked withing the service industry, (we ALL do on some level) you’ll be aware of this fact: some people delude themselves into thinking they’re better than you, and also think it’s acceptable, to abuse you.

Now, as discussed in the post Tightening Spokes, having decisions taken out of our hands, as a child, is obviously very disempowering. For my biological father to make a decision on my behalf, without my knowledge, because my job inconvenienced him, was abusive. I understand this now. Continuing to work within a field where I open and expose myself to any kind of abuse, is something I’m now able to change or better deal with. I no longer need my mind to communicate unfinished business with me in this way. I no longer need to prove to myself – I’m a little person who gets abused – sticking it out with uninspiring work.

“The things we’re drawn to, are, at times, simply a method of communication from our unconscious mind”

Unfinished business from childhood has a way of showing itself. Take phobias. We’re only born with two fears: Loud noises and falling, all other fears are learnt and serve some kind of purpose. An irrational fear of snakes, for example, can be attributed to all sorts of childhood confusion. The fear is curing us, and at the same time the mind is looking to communicate, something needs our conscious attention. When we resolve the confusion from childhood, the phobia disappears. At the very least, we feel more choice and are no longer driven, by an irrational fear. There are no life threatening snakes in the UK. At least not the reptilian type that is.

Let me give you further example. Take someone who’s in the caring profession, let’s say, it’s looking after the elderly. I recently watched a snippet of video showing a recording of an elderly lady being slapped by her carer. The film was recorded by hidden camera placed in the home by her daughter. The health of the lady in question had deteriorated somewhat (she was already suffering with Alzheimer’s disease) and her daughter suspected it may have been due to abuse from her carer. The recording proved her worst fears.

Now, what of the carer? Why was she doing a job she obviously despised? We can know, potentially, the driving behind this, was her unconscious mind seeking communication. What unfinished business, do you imagine, was in the mind of a carer abusing those placed in her care? Why was she doing something she despised? Why was there no love? Do you imagine this person was loved and cared for as a child? Or do you think this unlikely?

“And so to the point”

The activities we’re driven to do often hold clues that we overlook. These clues can be our mind communicating unfinished business. When we see the clues for what they are, we remove the negative driving, and increase our choices. In my case, the next person who feels it’s permissible to abuse me, will be told to leave. Simple.

And what of you? We can all look to better ourselves, by escaping a negatively driven activity, that may only be our minds way of saying: “YOU NEED TO LOOK AT THIS.”

Look closely at the things you do that are not something you enjoy. Why would you do that? Through necessity? Perhaps this is the case, however, what about the aspects to that activity you grudgingly put up with and don’t seek to change? Are you seeking any change? Are you seeking to better your life? If not, why not? What does your mind want to tell you?

To Right The Wrong

He woke from the dream. A terrible night. In his dream people died, the oceans were full of plastic, and men shot rhino’s to cut off their horns. In his dreams people possessed each other. They owned each other. He saw it clearly: a woman wearing cloth over her face, as a man punched a fist into the air, the other hand holding a rifle. Just before waking, he’d been curled into a ball, hands protecting his face, as they’d beat and kicked him. He’d woken with a headache. Invalidated once again.


The people didn’t want him to right the wrongs it would seem. He was on his own again in this battlefield of games. The love holding him down, never setting him free. Their denial and confusion so pervasive.

Each morning, after waking from his dreams, he’d enter a world much worse. The dreams were nightmares for sure, and yet the real world, was no relief at all.

‘You’re just being maudlin again’ he reminded himself as he prepared for the day ahead.

He knew not to turn on the news, he knew the ‘hearing devices’ weren’t working. They weren’t making it sound any better. The mad hysteria and manic behaviour of the children he noticed, didn’t get any clearer with his ‘ears in,’ it just made it all the more obvious how insane they’d all become.

Men in their thirties and women in their fifties acting like they were five. He’d had more stimulation from the mind of a five year old. A five year old that wasn’t afraid that is. He enjoyed the will of this child as he understood its need. With a handicap – as such – of being young, naive and small, children’s compensatory-will was a beauty to behold and encourage.

When the adults played the same way it made him want to weep.  

The fear comes later you see. The pressure to conform, to work, to pay bills, to spend their lives doing what they hate; drinking to numb the horror of their wasted lives. A lifetime as a child.

‘That’s better!’ they’ll say, with a smack of the lips.

We all know what to do though: consume, consume, consume. There’s no one to show us how to be grown anymore. Those in charge are as the child. Juvenile leaders of the world. Just remember:

“My buttons bigger than yours”

“You cannot have if you do not pray”

There were those who thought relief for this man would come in death.

Running into the thunderstorm, powder washed from his face. So many think suicide a painless release from this waking hell. Though suicide would only add to the confusion, pain and guilt, of those left behind. Trapped. Trapped for now.

Besides, he knew all this suffering and violence, couldn’t be real, could it? He knew the troubles of the world couldn’t be as his dreams showed him, could they? He knew that humans couldn’t be so unaware, are they? So unaware of punching and kicking him everyday. He’d curl up in a ball, protecting his face, and die one day he knew.  


As night time comes around, the nightmares are here; headaches the following morning. Invalidating his illusions yet again.

The punches and kicks may be silent in dreams my friends, but they hurt, just the same.

The Empowerment of Awareness

The Empowerment of Awareness

On this blog you will find many references to empowerment and the empowering forces of love. It’s useful at this point to further explain what exactly is meant by this.

The clearest example we can give, involves the empowerment of raising awareness. Before we do, it’s worth being made aware that we are bound by the limitations of what can be said, within a few hundred words, on a blog post. Due to the style of this medium we must keep things to a minimum in an attempt to retain human attention.

“It may well be, that a video or comedy act, would prove better at retaining attention, however, these options are currently unavailable. . . sorry.”

Does this mean that we don’t love you enough, to empower you by better retaining your attention with a comedy act, or video? No, not really. What this does say is, we believe that raising your attention has more to do with helping you understand that this actually involves the input of energy. In other words, the more we do for you, the less energy you’ll need to input. Which would consequently lower your attention. We need you to think. Furthermore, to gain understanding from these words, you will need to be aware and attentive.

With your raised awareness (and reluctance to input energy) you might now ask: Surely if you did this through a comedy act would you not have our full attention then?

Potentially this would be the case. Comedy is a very powerful medium for alleviating fear and guilt but does this through diverting our attention. Our desire here is to focus your thoughts in one direction. The added benefit is, fear or guilt really have little place, in the minds of those who’re aware and focused.

“The greater your self-awareness the greater your awareness of the limiting nature of fear and/or guilt.”

Suffice to say, the empowerment of love, is help to diminish these two negative forces. If you like, the empowerment of love is the antidote to fear and guilt. Videos and comedy may only be a temporary fix to alleviating these things.

“So, with raising awareness being the clearest example of the empowerment of love, lets get on with it.”

The quickest and easiest way, of raising one’s awareness, is through the acknowledgement of others. In other words, once we begin to take a fascination and interest in the behaviour of others, we become increasingly more aware of our own. As a result, of becoming more aware of those around us, we may then choose to become advisory. We may become more opinionated. As we do, we attract greater interest, from others.

For example, just this morning one of our members decided to make a colleague of theirs aware of something he’d noticed. What he’d noticed was that their criticism of another person, had become so frequent, that it could now be considered pathological. These are the exact words he used:

“Just to make you aware, your criticism of Colin, has now become pathological.”

Using the word ‘pathological’ proved very effective, in gaining the attention of someone, who doesn’t normally absorb anything. In fact, so contradictory is this person (to most things anyone says) that helping her raise her awareness is nigh-on impossible. However, the use of such a word, is suggestive, of mental illness is it not? This often gets people’s attention through fear.

Now, with your new focus and raised awareness, you’ll have seen the contradiction: fear was used to raise someone’s attention, when empowerment through love was said to be the antidote to fear. Well, your observation is correct, however, before we can rid them of the fear, motivating their pathology, a good slap, (metaphorically speaking) is often for the best. Think: a small dose of the disease often works as the cure.

“Put simply, raising our awareness involves energy. The more energy we have available, the more likely it is, we’ll have a high degree of awareness.”

In contrast to that last statement, those of us who’re dealing with high levels of conflict, stress and confusion, have far less energy available devoted to raising our self-awareness. To further explain, the colleague used in our example, expends such huge amounts of energy – on a defence system of clash, conflict and contradiction – that there is very little left for her to ever become self-aware. Her defence mechanism has effectively disabled her. She’s exhausted.

It’s important for all of us to consider how we use our mental energy and how this may be limiting us. Remember, the less awareness we have, the more we’re being directed by those forces beyond it; namely fear and guilt.

So there we are, empowerment through love because we’re aware of you, even if you are not.


The only reason I’m writing this post today is because of this word: Tasked.

I’ve heard it many times over the last few days so that’s the trigger.

And I hear you ask:

“You’re writing a post because you’ve heard the word tasked several times?”

And I reply:

‘Yep it’s that simple.’

The next question that comes to mind is:

“Who’s setting this task?”

And I reply:

‘The universe is setting the task.’

And the next question:

“How do you know it’s the universe?”

And the reply:

‘I don’t, does it matter?’

The only thing that really matters is that you set yourself a task. Without it, there’s little point to life. Without task life is empty and meaningless.

We’ve all been tasked to evolve

So my task, as is everyone else’s, is to further life. It is actually the most fundamental task, we’re all set from birth, we just don’t often see it that way.

“Life’s task is to further life.”

When we take a moment to think about life on earth we see that every single, living organism, be it a virus, parasite, worm, or indeed human being, is driven mainly by the need to reproduce.

“Evolution see’s to it that the most adaptable, healthy and strong, get to spread their genetic coding.”

In time the weak fizzle out and die. How long it takes, for mother nature to weed out the weakest and least adaptable, is often something we’re unable to perceive of. The process of natural selection happens over many, many years. It’s happening to us now, we just don’t see it. When we look at the creatures on earth, and all the weird patterns, shapes and so on, within the species that live here, we get a sense of how ancient the planet really is. This planet is very, very old.

“In real terms, our evolution is happening all the time, yet due to its time frame, we’re unaware.”

As we now understand, we’re all tasked to reproduce. So is that it, or is there more we can do?

I believe if we include evolution into this task we’ll be getting somewhere. In other words, we must continue to make our evolution something we’re conscious of. We’re certainly conscious when we’re reproducing – and what a beautiful consciousness it is – however, as with all other living beings on the planet, evolution isn’t always so pleasurable.

“Evolution and natural selection teaches us to do without certain things as other aspects change and adapt.”

Let’s take consciousness. To assist with our evolution and future survival we must become more aware. That seems simple enough, and yet how we do this, is not quiet so clear cut.

Raising our consciousness involves cutting back on some of the clutter. In other words, we must become more efficient with our thinking.

Mindfulness is the word we can use to describe this efficiency.

“We’re efficient when we’re mindful of our thoughts and actions because mindfulness reduces waste.”

There is actually a kind of paradox here. You might imagine, that to be mindful of our thoughts and actions, the majority of the time, would take a lot of energy. It does. However, through being mindful – in the long term – we become more efficient due to spending less time in the past or future, or indeed nowhere in particular, through daydreaming. We become more efficient, and waste less time, by keeping our thoughts in the present moment. Practise is the key. The more we do it, the better we become.

Also the process of asking ourselves – from moment to moment – what our intentions are, is a very powerful way of raising our awareness. For example, what is your intention through reading this post? To learn something? Find a way to dismiss it? Be entertained for a moment? To find a way to disprove it and discount it? Perhaps, you’re looking to raise your consciousness too? What is your true intention?

Through raising our consciousness we better guarantee the future survival of our species. Be assured, the process of evolution and natural selection is doing many things we’re simply unaware of. It’s the genes, of those who seek greater awareness of this, that will survive. The task that life has set you.

Are you paying attention to what the universe is tasking you?

Aware, The Nissan Anti Theft System (NATS)

Being Aware and Raising our Awareness

Being Aware and Raising our Awareness

So you decide to go shopping – including cake and coffee on the way – jump in your supper reliable Nissan Micra, only to find that after travelling 200 yards down the road, the Nissan Anti Theft System (NATS) activates and everything stops. You look down at the dashboard and become aware of a silly little light flashing away and eventually you work out what the little light means: It translates to ‘You’re Buggered.’

On searching the internet all is revealed: as these cars get older the NAT System starts to malfunction. Loads of suggestions are put forward as to how this can be remedied, from disconnecting and reconnecting the battery (already thought of that one) to leaving the ignition on and then speaking very nicely to your car whilst doing a little dance in the street. None worked incidentally, although the dancing was fun!

As you can probably imagine, what commenced after Nissan’s untimely ‘Lock Down,’ was an entire afternoon taken up with pushing, towing, and phone calls to garages. As I write, the poor little Micra sits on a garage forecourt, awaiting being plugged into their diagnostic whatsayamacallit. So much for cake and coffee, the shopping can wait.

This brings me to the analogy I like to spot in most of each days event – give everything a reason, other than the obvious (it’s time to change a worn out Micra) – and life becomes a little more interesting.

Locked Down is something many people are. They’re locked out of their own minds. My experience with the Micra is how it must feel to have poor awareness. Powerlessness. We’re powerless when we have poor awareness.

Nissan-Qashqai-nats-security-warning-dashboard-lightThe Nat System works through having an awareness, through varying sensors, of whether things are as they should be or not. If the system suspects there’s a problem the NATS immobiliser signals to the Engine Control Module (ECM) which then inhibits starting. 

“Think of our NAT System as our awareness. A form of defence against invasion and harm from others. Awareness inhibits control of our system (mind) by others.”

All kinds of issues can arise, within the bodymind, through our lack of control and manipulation by others. If we’re unable to spot the dangers, of what can be inflicted on us by better aware humans – who may harbour malicious intent – we end up being used and abused; only to wonder why we feel so limited and incapable all the time. Our NAT System is reliant on our awareness.

The diagnostic tool we have at our disposal is easily employed. All we need do is ask ourselves some simple things. We need to ask ourselves: Am I getting what I want out of life? Do those around me help or hinder my quest? Am I succeeding? Are my relationships fulfilling? To what extent am I driven by the things that seem beyond my control?

That last question is very important. Through increasing our awareness we become enlightened as to how we can be simply acting out those things our id (primitive instinct) wants. As such, these final questions are just as important: Are my actions driven by a lack of awareness (a faulty NAT System). Is my power being taken from me by those around  me?

“Be aware, the human animal has had many thousands of years to perfect his methods of ‘locking down’ his fellow man. We fix the defence mechanism by raising our awareness.”

In Response


Self-aware. In Response to:

Thought Series: Exploring the relevance of science fiction ideas and technology in real life

“I personally believe it’s all down to awareness which doesn’t actually have a massive correlation to intelligence. The more self-aware we are the closer we become to creating self-aware AI.”

The comments from bookstooge were quite staggering on several levels. Firstly Christianity is so lacking in awareness it’s become a joke to those who are. Secondly we all know a good american will respond to many things they fail to understand with a bullet. There lies the main problem: fear.

Fear gets in the way of rational thinking. If we’d all responded to 9/11 differently – with rational thought – we’d potentially be living in a society slightly less violent and frightened than it is today.

Of course human history is full of violence and we can’t blame all of this on the americans; just most of it. Iain Banks understood, if we’re to live in a society free from the ego, and will of violent, self-destructive psychopathic humans, we need to be governed by an intelligence that has a far greater awareness then we currently do.

“Nietzsche and his ‘will-to-power’ explains all too clearly the main reason humans always seem to revert to violent answers (or vile gameplay) to their problems. AI, that is free of this phenomena, would likely be free from much of the conflict we face.”

Once again I believe self-awareness is the key to us making the changes so desperately needed. An interesting piece, Thank You. א


Be Aware of Your Game


“To begin with it is important to establish an important proviso here: All of this is just a game”

Whether you like this idea or not, taking a moment to ponder on the concept of everything being a game, will prove to be beneficial to wellbeing, and ultimately your sense of contentment and happiness. It’s really about gaining a balanced sense of perspective.

We’re all playing our particular part in the overall game of life, and a particular, specific game as individuals. As a means of survival, the game you’re playing as an individual, has been devised over the time you’ve been alive. Your role in life is part of the game. When we ask: what is my role in life? We get to understand our purpose and direction.

And so, what is your role in life? What do you see as your purpose? Do you have a purpose? This last question is interesting, because even if you don’t see yourself as having purpose in life, this lack is also part of the game.

“Perhaps you have many roles and interests in life. You may be a mother or father yet also have interests outside of these roles. The more facets and aspects there are to your game, the more interesting your life”

Let’s take another example that’s a little more extreme. Let’s imagine you’re poor and homeless – you may want to add some colours here, perhaps there’s a sad background story, you might carry a lot of guilt and therefore have issues with drink or stronger drugs. We can ask: Why this game? Do you feel you have no choice in this? Are you simply compelled? Is there an element of control, or perhaps some kind of time frame to be played out? Even a homeless drunk, if it doesn’t kill him first,  will eventually tire of something pointless and so change the rules.

“Many homeless people will tell you their situation is through no fault of their own. Is this just another aspect of their game that changes once they take responsibility for themselves?” 

You see, pointless games, are played out by many of us for much of the time. It’s often the case that it has a time scale, and no matter how hard we try to step out of it – particularly one that’s self-destructive – we just seem compelled and powerless, to change it.

“This is where it becomes even more useful to see all of what we do as games”

It’s very empowering to see homelessness and addiction in this way; it implies some level of control. Sure there’s randomness within games (consider monopoly and the throw of dice) and yet we can choose to gain more skills within the game, and as such, play far more skilfully.


I clearly remember playing monopoly some years ago; the situation seemed hopeless. I was almost broke with few properties on the board, with my opponent possessing all the money and properties, in favourable positions. Interestingly enough, after about two hours of play, I actually won!

I remember, before each role of the dice, figuring out what numbers I needed them to fall on, to stay out of trouble, and which numbers I needed to fall, in order for me to gain the advantage. To my amazement – not to mention that of my opponents – the plan worked. Every time I threw the dice, they fell to my advantage, in the end my opponent was bankrupt.

The reason I was able to turn things around, I believe, was through awareness: I planned and worked out how I needed the dice to fall. Bear in mind, this was a random game of monopoly, with the random nature of throwing dice as a deciding factor. So with this in mind, imagine how we can influence our game of life, through increased awareness. We think we’re aware right now, yet the truth is, we’re barely aware at all.  

“More than anything we’re unaware of the rules of our own games. There’s no doubt, if I failed to understand the rules of monopoly, I’d have had absolutely no chance of winning”

So understanding the rules – of your own game – is essential. Firstly what are you playing? A winning game (happiness and well being) or a losing (suffering) one? Secondly, how, by whom and when, were the rules established? Who showed you how to play? Did you simply learn it through trial and error? What are you looking to win? Life or death? Most importantly, are the games you play virtuous? In other words, are you looking to make your game easier, believing this is done through the manipulation of others?

Manipulation of others is based on fear, so if this is one of your rules – rules taught you by others – stop, because fears ultimately become self-fulfilling, ALWAYS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS.

You can influence the fall of the dice.

Awareness is the key. You can influence the fall of the dice with your awareness. Become aware of the role you’re fulfilling to gain the advantage. Are you the good or the bad guy? Which one are you? 

“Understanding gives advantage that can turn things around”

There is a set of rules that dictate how to find a life full of contentment and happiness. Unhappy and homeless is interesting for a while, however, as soon as we see it for what it is, through raising our awareness, we load the dice in our favour.

If you’re suffering just raise your awareness. What is the gameplay? In terms of the advantage, card or dice, what are you looking to achieve. For example, is the homeless man, through playing his homeless card, simply looking for someone else (society) to take care of him? In the long run this is often seen for what it is: gameplay that compensates for lack. Be this self-esteem, belief or simply an inability to stand on ones own two feet.


We must remember: every game has some kind of end goal. Consider the true story of the Indian lady who lived on the streets as a beggar for forty years. Eventually, she’d saved enough money, to buy her own home. Gameplay to fool the foolish?

What is the end goal of the game you’re playing?

Just Curious: How exactly do we all get to sleep at night?

“It came to mind. When we really think of it, how exactly do we get to sleep at night, whilst all this shit goes on around us?”

You know the wars and the suffering. A more refined version of my question is this: how do we get to sleep at night whilst just one of our children is suffering. It’s my opinion, that there only needs to be one suffering child in the world, for the rest of us to be living a charade.

Shed some light on the real charade

It’s easy when we see it, in order to sleep, all we do is put the horrors from our minds. In fact, it would be detrimental to our health, if those of us who’re looking to help in this regard (easing the suffering of children), didn’t. If we don’t sleep our health will also be damaged.

“Yet the question remains and gets even bigger: how can we live the ridiculous charade of modern life whilst children suffer?”

Wouldn’t true equality be for ALL of us to be suffering in the same way our abused children currently are? And so how exactly could we find this type of equality? Perhaps we could make do with slightly less, or perhaps we could self flagellate; you know, the thing with the whips. Hold on though, some of us humans are turned on sexually by that shit, (because of violence confused with pleasure in childhood) and so then we’re into pleasure through sadism, so no, that doesn’t work.

“Hold on, I tell you what we could do, we could imagine ourselves back in childhood.”

We could then lock ourselves in a dark, cold room, full of unknown horrors (imagined or real), and get someone to call in, on a regular basis, to beat us and commit annul rape; that could work. Oh, then we’d need to sort out our diet. Yeah, now I’m on a role.

For a start, we could feed ourselves with sugar and shitty processed food, and then wash it all down with pop! For entertainment we could have a TV, phone and nothing else, and just to make our suffering all the worse, we could be surrounded by people who’re unable to listen, have very limited vocabulary, limited skills, limited imagination and don’t give a shit about anything or anyone else outside their limited scope of attention. Limited company to say the least.

“I think we need more! There’s always more of this shit.”

Outside our window we’d need to have bombs going off and we’d also need to see women and children being slaughtered, and all on a daily basis, yay! Oh, and let’s not forget the starving children, sitting in the dust, with their swollen bellies and fly’s in their crusty eyes. Our charity has certainly fixed that one, hey? Now, I wonder if we have enough fear and discomfort, to match that of an abused child yet? Probably not.

“I just can’t help wondering: how do we all sleep at night when there’s one of our children living like this?”

A child – in a civilised society – living with this fear. There’s no fear for us though: most of us can live in our lovely homes, jump in our comfortable cars, ride in our beautiful planes, feed on our lush vegetation, and chomp on our farmed lamb (remember the mint sauce). Why should we give a damn about all the suffering, abused children of the world, when we have all this! And of course whilst we do, we don’t.

“Never assume the answer to alleviating our guilt, is to give charitably, this is no answer at all. The answer, is to be aware; aware of the suffering of the abused child. Until we choose awareness, nothing will change.”

When we choose to wake up to what’s going on around us – instead of being lost to the illusions of comfort we propagate and blinded by our ignorance – only then we will fight the abuse and ignorance. When we cut-away all the nonsense of modern day life, it’s possible to clearly see, what our children have needed all along: More. Love. There’s more of that too. Just look. א


Brilliant at Stating the Obvious

The concept of 'Duh'-used to comment on an action that is obvious, foolish, or stupid, represented with blue and red blocks on a reflective black base and background. Horizontal.

Nothing is actually obvious until you’ve been shown it. On reading or being taught something, and only after this event, we might say: “well, that’s just so obvious.” We must remember though, it wasn’t thatwat until we read it or were taught it. Oh, but NOW…! well, how obvious!

The thing about the obvious, is that teaching it – and simply because of it’s nature – obviousness leaves no impression. However, if we allowed ourselves to be influenced by this – to the point we give up showing or saying it – ignorance would prevail.

Now, the reason something is obvious, is because it’s easy to learn. It’s easy to learn because it’s already there; already there but only at an unconscious level. Take the example of a man who beats his wife. We know this is mainly driven by fear, yet it’s not until someone – who we perhaps see as an authority on the subject – points it out, do we truly get it.

It’s as if the understanding, just pointed out to us, was already within our grasp: we knew it, but didn’t know we knew it. This doesn’t diminish its power though. If anything, it makes the ability, to point out the obvious, invaluable to us all.

Someone or something ‘needs’ to have made us aware, of what was previously an unconscious understanding, before it becomes fully conscious, and consequently obvious. “Man you’re just so obvious!” Well fuck you! Conscious enough for you?

As a further example, consider someone who works in the reptile enclosure at the local zoo. As bizarre as it may seem, this individual actually has a deep hatred of reptiles, yet dutifully gets out of bed each morning, in order to tend to the stinking reptiles he so loathes.

After years and years of doing this job, he begins to find it increasingly hard to motivate himself, and get out of bed in the mornings. After some further time – to really get his pain and suffering to intolerable levels – our reptile carer decides to get some outside, objective assistance, to improving his health.


How odd – it may now seem – that we should need to point out, doing a job we hate, will, in time, make us unwell? Crazy isn’t it? However millions of us are doing this very same thing every day! How bizarre is it that so many of us should feel like we have no choice? Our reptile keeper had been thinking to himself: “well, this is what I do, I look after reptiles.” How about, ‘fuck the reptiles man, go out and get a fucking life!’ Obvious? It is now.