No matter in what way you feel that you’re suffering, stop, experience the feeling, and look deeply into it

Vast numbers of us deal with our pain and suffering through the coping mechanisms we’ve learnt. Without having learnt how to moderate our attachments to things and people we will of course suffer when they’re taken away. The ideal is to remain mindful of the type of love we exhibit to those around us and stay mindful of our attachments to impermeant things. Love, that’s based on ownership and desire, will cause great suffering to all, whereas love, that involves the need to empower those around us, and is built on understanding and compassion, will create a lot of joy and freedom.

When we continue to deal with our pain and suffering through coping mechanisms, we’re never fully free, we’re simply coping

It’s the process of stopping that we must acknowledge. In the past, when we’ve wanted to change a feeling, or try and distance ourselves from it, this is when the coping mechanisms have instantly kicked in. Instead, if we mindfully stop and notice the feelings, we’re then given the opportunity to look deeply at them and understand their root.

Moving through our pain and suffering instantly frees us

They say that suffering is a choice. And indeed it is when we know, and yet continue to ignore, that by exploring it and understanding its root we’d be free. Once we have this knowledge, and yet continue to use whatever means we have of coping, then we are in fact only choosing to put of our suffering. Its return is the choice we’re making.

So stop, look, and listen. When we understand the root of our loneliness and then decide to love ourselves – through acknowledging the value of our feelings – we become free. Our feelings, whether happy, or sad and painful, must all be embraced. Until we do this, our wholeness remains illusive, and we continue to suffer. Think of a time when you’ve been fearful before a certain activity. Once you’ve moved beyond the fear all is well. It’s the same with our suffering. Move through it and be free!