Taking mindfulness up to the next level, we can use it to improve further aspects, of our lives

Our beliefs influence our lives in ways that it can be quite staggering to comprehend. And we can gain sufficient understanding of beliefs, and how being mindful of them can improve our lives, in a relatively short period of time. There’s little need to go into a detailed study of beliefs, all we need do, is apply some simple understandings of them – and mindfulness – in order to make some powerful changes.

Lets’s begin with a useful example of beliefs in relationships

Think about growing up with a parent (or parents) who believed that relationships can be open. If you’re unsure of what I mean by ‘open’ please look up the exact meaning of this type of relationship here. On a personal level, I have very firm boundaries in respect of intimate relationships, and that’s how it works for me. Some might describe my view, or beliefs, as dated or restricted in some way, however, from my understanding, open relationships tend to create far more problems than they solve. Anyway, consider how things might be to a child growing up in such a household. A specific example I can share with you is, that of a child who sensed her mothers disappointment at her fathers promiscuity. This disappointment was emotionally transferred to the child who went on to believe that relationships where ‘disappointing’.

Now, the point to be mindful of here is, the question of how such an individual went on to create disappointing relationships, as an adult. To help with this, we can ask ourselves the question: what would need to happen for me to find relationships disappointing? And I’m not talking specifically about intimate relationships here. The deep rooted belief that relationships are disappointing will spill over into all relationships. We must remember that the mind has a tendency to generalize when it come to beliefs. The mind will group all relationships together and find ways in which they are all a disappointment in one form or another.

When asking yourself that earlier question, I wonder what answer came back to you? Perhaps disappointment in a relationship would be something as simple as poor timekeeping. In the case of the individual who grew up in a promiscuous household, she found relationships disappointing, when she couldn’t trust people to stay true to future arrangements. The way in which she did this, was to always make some small change to plans with friends, that would involve some uninvited element that would then cause her friends to feel disappointed. This would then cause her friends to make changes that then disappointed her. The end result being the fulfillment of her belief that relationships are disappointing.

Take some time with that last paragraph, as understanding it fully, will prove very powerful.

Until we’re mindful of how we find fulfillment of our beliefs, and take responsibility for this, we will continue running around in circles

It’s useful to keep in mind how it is us that creates our own difficulties. It’s far too easy to blame some sort of external element. This is of course the point. The mind would prefer to hold on to its beliefs because to do this is an efficient use of energy. So pinning the blame somewhere, other than on ourselves, saves energy. Change takes effort. Changing beliefs takes a great deal of effort, and yet through being mindful, of how our beliefs can be influencing the flow of our lives, change begins to gently happen. A gentle flow is preferable and this is helped through mindfulness of our beliefs.