Always Find a Way to Fuck the Stats

because the stats are fucking with you

The thing is, most of what we spend our time doing in life is utter bullshit, with some serious stuff inbetween

Yep, I suppose the serious stuff is making love (and I don’t mean sex), procreating (and I do mean sex) having fun, playing, eating, walking, travelling, just fucking enjoying life! That’s the serious stuff. The bullshit stuff is getting involved with things that don’t concern you. Like fighting a war . . . fucking run man! What!? risking my life for principles, beliefs, pride trying to fight a power hungry, paranoid, psychopath . . . no thanks, I’ve got a life to live. The stats don’t add up in this respect. Try and fight a highly trained, well armed army with bottles of piss, and you’re going to get killed. RUN! RUN! RUN!

I’ve recently become one of the top 5% of Extreme Sudoku players! Yes and not because I’m any good I just know how to fuck the stats

I suppose in all seriousness I have got pretty good at Sudoku, and when looking to solve extreme puzzles, it all comes down to the ability to spot patterns (the symmetry). So I’ve learned that in order to be one of the top 5% I no longer look to finish the puzzles where I’ve gone wrong, I just start a new one. Now each puzzle is a winner. My stats look great! Should I feel bad? NO I don’t think so, because I now realise it’s what every other bastard on the planet is doing.

Nice Stats
The other way to mess with the stats is to have integrity and just be better than everyone else

That’s right. For example, because I’m hearing impaired, I use a certain watch that has a gentle vibration alarm for mornings, and a countdown timer – times up! – alert. It’s great for meditation and not waking anyone up, except me, in the mornings. I’ve always loved watches, in particular digital, and love this model so much I’ve decided to buy a few and sell them on ebay. You can find them here and here if you’re interested.

I charge slightly more than everyone else for these watches (fuck the stats) because I make a point of offering a money back guarantee, install new batteries before posting, and just generally act with the kind of integrity that’s often somewhat lacking on ebay. I’m messing with the stats to my advantage. Something we must all learn to do, provided it’s with the things, that matter. Ask yourself: What is it that matters to me? Is it Life or the Stats? What are the things I choose to take seriously?

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