The mind will always provide what you want, and yet, what exactly do you want?

There’s something very special about human intelligence. There are a lot of things that we don’t fully understand about compassion and our ability to read others and their wants.

Many years ago, when I first started out as a Hypnotherapist, clients would often send me thank you cards. So much so, that in my waiting room, I started to struggle for space on top of filing cabinets etc. As I reflect on that time, it’s possible to understand why; it was something I needed. Not on a level fully recognised by me you understand, it was a message I was sending out, unconsciously. My clients actually wanted me to succeed and felt the need to encourage me.

In what I’ve just stated I once again find myself facing one of the beautiful ironies of life

As a Therapist, I’m in the business of helping people. In this respect surely it’s not for my clients to be helping me? But of course any interaction between humans, is going to be interlaced, with the unexpected. And the relationship between client and therapist can be an extremely complicated one (less so for the Therapist). That said, we must never underestimate the capacity we humans have, for showing love to one another, in unexpected ways.

It’s a very strange thing to assert, that even if this is only in our imagination, the mind will always provide what we want

Much of the communication between us humans is done at an unconscious level. And it all gets very interesting when we realise that the mind always provides what we want, even if this, is something unpleasant. If what we believe, about our fellow man for example, has been built on hatred, anger and intolerance, then this is exactly what we will receive. The mind will provide exactly that. And what we want, from moment to moment, is confirmation, of what we believe.

If you want a beautiful life, the trick, is to simply believe in the possibility and how to find it

At a very basic level we humans don’t need a great deal to survive. Surviving and thriving can be two very different things though. For example is a thriving life achieved simply through our needs being fully understood and met? It’s important to remember, we all have the same basic needs, but very different wants. One person can very well believe they’re thriving with only their basic needs met. For others thriving means something very different. Perhaps these are the people the lottery fund is dependent upon. People who are always found wanting.

The advice to acknowledge, must be to seek out love, and the need to understand it

A common misunderstanding is that love is self-sacrifice. Giving of oneself, so we may gain the pleasure of seeing loved ones thrive, can never be about sacrifice. In the past we might have been told that people have given up a lot for us, or made some kind of sacrifice, but this is a lie.

It can never be a sacrifice to give of oneself so those we love can thrive. We gain pleasure when we love. It must be a pleasure to give, because if it isn’t, this is something else entirely. We may even be seeking to control others with giving. In fact, if we want others to believe we’ve made sacrifices for them, this is all about needing control.

Man’s need for control over other men is ever present

This is especially the case from those who have very little control over themselves. There are times when we all feel a little out of control. This self-control is regained once we realise something fundamental: There are many things in life that are beyond our influence or control, and so much of the suffering in life, is caused through our want to chase those things, we have no real need or aptitude for.

It’s how we view life that is important

It’s how we react to events that determines our level of happiness. If what you are striving for seems illusive, change your perspective. It could well be that the thing you’re striving for is already where you’re at and you’re just not seeing it as such. For example, you might – on a conscious level – see success as one thing, and yet all along, the unconscious mind has been viewing things very differently. The way your unconscious mind is seeing success, may well be the very place, you’re already in! An interesting thought.

So to sum up, it’s all about understanding the wants and needs of your mind. Your wants are built on your beliefs. What you unconsciously want, may differ greatly, to your conscious desires.

When this kind of conflict exists the result is suffering. Suffering is eased when we have greater understanding of our unconscious beliefs. At it’s basic level, all you actually need to be a successful human being, is some of that magical ingredient called love. Send that out and it’s a need that’s easily met.