It came to mind:
Are you a lonely people pleaser with poor boundaries, or just a nice person, that everyone wants a piece of? It doesn’t matter how attention is gained either. Loving and kind or negative and antagonistic it’s all devised to grab your mind. This is perhaps a useful way to see things. If you’re a kind and loving person everyone will want a piece of you.
As far as the loving and kind thing is concerned, who wouldn’t want that? It’ll get my attention every time. The problem is, so does the antagonistic, provocative method. We can so often be like a wind-up toy and it seems people can so easily get their hands on the key. What we need to be aware of, is how we’re handing it to them. What are we doing in order to give people the key to the treasure of our attention?
It’s true to say:
Professionals place great value on their time and attention. If you want to be in the company of a professional, you’ll need to pay for it. Just today for example, I was made aware, that if you want to spend half an hour in the company of a dental hygienist, it’ll cost you upwards of £72! That’s right, half an hour! And never mind what the dentist charges.
So with this in mind, what value should we all place on our attention to others? There are those that will tell you: if you have something of value it’s wise to be guarded as to how much of it you give away. It is a funny old world we live in nowadays though isn’t it? So much is given away for free. Or is it?
You might be able to watch a video on YouTube for nothing, but can you experience those same artist, playing live free gratis? No, not really. If you want to spend time in the company of these people, you’ll need to put your hand in your pocket. The video is seen as a ‘lost leader.’ It’s a method to hook you and gain your valuable time and attention. Your mind equals cash.
Perhaps it works in the same way with you:
Your time and attention is so addictive, people just want more and more of it, and it doesn’t matter to them how they get it. Your attention is similar to the ‘lost leader’ video for music artists. If this is the case, in order to protect ourselves from harm or exploitation, we must learn how to set firm boundaries. In addition to this, we must learn neutrality or indifference to the lives and troubles, of others.
Neutrality and indifference is found through having no opinion. We detach ourselves from having opinions through realising the often futile nature of forming and expressing them. Unless you’re in the business of helping people change their beliefs, learn the art, of silence. Even though this can be hard we must learn its power. Silence is found when we know how to quieten the mind.
“One of the most effective ways of achieving this ‘quietness of mind’ is through meditation. Time to ourselves is fully realised when we know how to meditate”
Meditation and Mindfulness Training is now available through our subsidiary organisation The School of Mind. Click here for further details.