Recent experiences have taught me some valuable lessons. The lessons have been stressful. This, in the most part, has been brought on by myself. I often see the kind of provocation, I’m currently experiencing, as a personal attack on my dignity. In a sense, its my reaction, and consequent thought processes, that create the problem. I counterbalance, or rid myself of these stressors, through anger followed by rigorous exercise. This works in the short term, however:
“An additional means of dealing with stress is to firstly learn how to be gentle with ourselves, through our initial reaction, and secondly through taming the nature of our thought processes. A gentle response to provocation can be difficult to master”
So how do we do this? Making the assumption people are frightened is useful but not always correct. Sometimes people are simply looking for rejection. Perhaps they’re looking for someone to express repressed anger for them. Provocation and the reasons for it can take many forms with many differing roots. As a general rule, if our reaction to provocation creates stress and upset, this will be due to the provocateurs ability to touch a sensitive nerve.
“What is this sensitive nerve?”
We all have sensitive ‘hot spots’ that others can tap into. The issue of dignity, for example, is of great importance to me. If those around me are looking to rob me of this I react defensively. The only true way for me to rid myself of this sensitive nerve is to kill it. The way to do this is to question the root of why I feel the need to defend myself. What is dignity and why is it so personally important?
It often proves a mistake to expect people to treat us with any kind of respect. They might not know anything about us. We all have our own story. The story of our successes, failures, sadness and so on. Others can never really fully appreciate the place we’re coming from. So with this in mind, respect for our sensitivities, will never really happen until we’re loved and understood.
Why should we love and understand people? It’s often the case that when we look to love and understand those around us, they will then do this, in return. Respect is earned when we’re able to rise above antagonistic provocation. We do this through seeking to understand and love others. This is achieved when we can offer this to ourselves.
Through the process of looking to understand my sensitive nerves; my hot spots, I’m in the process of loving myself. This is where it must always start. Surprisingly, we begin to feel so much better – relieved of stress – when we finally, catch on.
If you’re the kind of person who’d like to better understand the points raised in this or other posts, workshop attendance, is recommended. You can find your application form here.