The Power of Personal Development

Knowledge is Power

Knowledge is Power

Like it or not if we want more personal power we’re going to need the know-how. The knowledge of how others surreptitiously take our power, and how we might be unknowingly giving it away, will prove invaluable. We can either gain this knowledge through the school of hard knocks, or we can learn avoidance techniques. It’s a simple choice. And it’s those who realise the benefits to learning additional life-skills that are awarded personal power.

Relationships are Important

It’s a rare thing to enter adulthood with the kind of emotional maturity that awards us good relationships. It’s true to say, the better equipped we are at displaying emotional maturity, the more likely we’ll find that person of our dreams. The individual who’s respectful of our needs, and at the same time mature enough to put their needs in the proper place, finds beauty in their relationships. We’re able to be one of the fortunate when we have the correct information to hand.

Awareness is Paramount

Increasing self-awareness comes as a by-product of knowing others better. Once we understand the reflective nature of people’s character, we’re awarded an unprecedented ability, to see ourselves objectively. It’s only once we can do this, that we’re able to raise our self-awareness and our game. Self-awareness empowers us to take full control of ourselves and our lives. Take for example, the person who’s in a constant state of confusion over their mood swings. They report feelings of being out of control; as if they’re on a “constantly moving emotional seesaw.” We ask about diet, walk them through a typical day, only to discover their bad habit. We then point out, how gobbling five hundred calorie sugar hits, four or five times a day, is likely effecting their brain, thus raising their self-awareness. Knowledge is power.

Knowing What to Believe

Knowing what we believe gives us the ability to question and change those beliefs that limit us. For example, the person who grows up believing big (overweight) gives them the power to intimidate people, and get their needs met through this intimidation, is limited through simple belief. We help such an individual, who might be five stones overweight, through helping them recognise how they’re carrying five stones of fear. Fear shortens lives, either through being afraid ourselves, or believing we need others to be this way, so we may get our needs met. Never be afraid to question beliefs.

Time is of The Essence

The sooner we’re in a position of power, over ourselves, choices and ultimately our lives, the sooner we get started on truly living. We can do away with much of the drama of life, through being informed, and in emotional control. Learning how we create our own difficulties, through bad relationships and limiting beliefs, is at the core of making the most of our precious time. Never waste time thinking ‘things will just work themselves out in the end.’ By the time that arrives, it will of course, be too late.

You can find your application form here.

The Curious Nature of Money

The Curious Nature of Money

“Looking closely at money does seem to open up more questions than answers”

Even so, questions are important, and discussing money, so we can lose some of the potential stress and misunderstandings surrounding it, will be of great value (excuse the pun).

Often when seeking to understand money, we’re given advice and guidance that relates directly to its management: how best to save, invest, earn etc. All well and good, however, there is something of fundamental importance, that’s often overlooked: The Psychology.

The Curious Nature of Money

Time and money bear a close correlation. For example, we want that new car, bike or pair of shoes, but don’t currently have the cash available. So rather than waiting, until we’ve saved enough, we borrow. Buy now pay later. You might think fair enough. If we’re prepared to pay the interest on the loan, we’re able to enjoy the goods now, rather than later. But what is the psychology behind this thinking.

“What is buy now pay later really all about. Is this a lack of patience? Is it just a social thing? Or is it that our wants are greater than our needs?”

I’m able to compare my own experience of being young and broke with someone who is currently just starting out in life. When I was sixteen I didn’t have the cash to buy the moped I desperately needed, so, with my father acting as guarantor, I borrowed. It turned out to be a mistake – I borrowed more than I could afford – and my father had been foolish to allow it. He’d been unable to advise me otherwise. In comparison, I’m aware of a young man who, even though his earning capacity is restricted, has successfully managed to save enough money to buy his first moped. He’s also now saving for his next bike; a bigger one. He has no debt. To be able to put the words young and patient together, in the same sentence, is a very rare thing.

“We can know this is down to several potential factors”

Firstly he hasn’t been able to borrow money (no guarantor) or secondly he’s been cleverly advised out of it. The chances are, his beliefs – formed from advice and experience – have created a positive time/money correlation. In other words, he’s learned patience in its respect.

Home Ownership

Of course saving for a moped is one thing, yet buying a house for example, would be an entirely different matter. With the property market as it is, it would be nigh on impossible for the average person to ever save enough to buy one outright. He or she would be so old, by the time they’d saved enough, that they’d never have the chance to enjoy it. Plus we have the problem of house prices always increasing way above the rate of pay increases. And isn’t that a curious thing? The gap between the rich and the poor ever increasing do you think?

“Anyway Let’s Not Get Distracted!”

That last paragraph does all hinge on our beliefs relating to home ownership. Provided we’re able to find a decent landlord we can be quite happy renting. If you’ve no concerns over leaving inheritance to family members (or cat charities,) then owning your own home, is in fact a bit of a nonsense. We can all be sold on the idea of having no mortgage in retirement, but that can be offset, with the belief that retirement is a complete nonsense too. Retire from what? There are many ways we can stay as wage earners in old age. Society actually requires input from the older generation. This is in much the same way children (mostly) benefit from knowing grandparents.

The Curious Nature of Money

We could go on and on with the debate over money, yet there is one simple answer to removing much of the stress surrounding it. I touched on this earlier. It’s that thing of our wants being greater than our needs. Once we can reach a point in our lives where our wants match our needs we’ll be in a favourable position. The sooner the better. This is the time/money correlation in its essence.

“Doing this involves some cleverness”

If, at the age of sixteen, I’d been a little more canny and wise to the world, I could have avoided much of the stress and difficulties I’ve experienced ever since. If someone had said to me:

“Look kiddo, here’s the thing, you’re being fucked over by your own wants and your wanting is being driven by your beliefs on happiness.”

“Right now you believe the only root to your happiness is that moped, right? Okay, so what would need to happen for you to find this freedom and happiness without it?”

That last question would certainly be a mind-bomb for the average sixteen year old. It would probably be the case, that suggestions from someone I believed in and respected, would’ve been necessary. Perhaps, if such a person had introduced me to an inexpensive hobby, things would have worked out differently. Perhaps, if it’d been explained – in clear and simple terms – that happiness and freedom must begin in the mind, and never outside of it, things would have been very different.

The Curious Nature of Money

All in all, there’s no getting away from the facts of life: We will always need sufficient money to cater for our basic needs and independence. Without that we’ve no chance of happiness, and to add to our misery, illness is potentially around every corner.

“So to close”

Hopefully this has opened up your mind a little to the subject in hand. I would question the belief that money buys happiness. Without our basic needs being met, we’ll be unhappy, that’s a given. However, our attitude of mind, mentality and belief system, has great bearing on the amount of stress and unhappiness we might experience around the subject. It’s really worth pondering on the time/money correlation. Surly it’s the case, the wiser we are and the sooner we find this wisdom, the happier we will be from the offset?

You can find out more on beliefs through workshop attendance and by typing in the search word ‘beliefs’ into the appropriate box. Your application form can be found here.

 

One to One Attitude Unavailable

Attitude

We’ve come a long way since the days of ‘put-up-and-shut-up.’ This kind of attitude to life is no longer accepted by the majority. Humanity has, and is looking to solve many of the riddles and conundrums, to life. For example, why is it good people, always seem to get the shitty end of the stick? In answer to that, it’s not so much about good or bad that makes the difference, it’s about having a proper grip on the realities of life, that does. It’s also about understanding the influences of the past on the present.

“Most times, we do need to understand the importance of putting ones own needs, uppermost in our mind”

That last statement might go against the grain slightly. However, unless we realise the realities of life at the offset, we’ll likely be in for some nasty surprises. Awareness of the importance of Personal Responsibility places us in a position of power. Leaning on others, believing they’re thinking about us and our needs, might work in the short term. In the long term though, it always becomes apparent, that through our vulnerability, we’re only ever placing another person in a position of power over us.

Further to this, if we’re needy because of illness this illness only acts as confirmation of the belief: “I am powerless.” In actual fact, it might well be our powerlessness, that’s the root to our illness in the first place! It’s a chicken or the egg scenario. In which case, we might want to ask: “Where and when was my power taken from me?”

“It is human nature to lust for power, and if you’re unable to retain yours, it will effortlessly be taken from you”

The ego desires power, it lusts for it. Knowing and accepting this puts you in a position of control. No, not control over others, just control over yourself. Take mental illness for example. Much of the root cause of mental illness is the continued ignorance of the sufferer. Honest, useful and empowering information, is part of the cure. This is something I believe.

Attitude

For example, if depressed, it might not seem immediately useful and empowering to be asked: “So Johnny boy, how are you doing your depression exactly?” In the first instance you might want to punch that person in the face. Potentially, if just for a moment during the punching, you might well be cured of your depression. Who ever said boxing, or just a good old punch-up, didn’t have its uses?

On a more seriousness note

When our power is handed back, through someone actually telling us how it is, (yes depression is created by the person suffering with it because it’s buying them something) this is true empowerment. The tools for how we change depression, once we’ve accepted why and how we’re creating it, are another matter.

This is where the ‘put-up-and-shut-up’ attitude no longer lives. When approaching the professional nowadays, it’s very unlikely you’ll be told to just take an aspirin, and to then simply hope for the best. There are tools (rather than wretched drugs) at our disposal, that can help us to understand, how to stay well and clear of limiting conditions.

With this in mind we do all face a slight dilemma. When depressed, getting up and doing something about it, can feel like the equivalent to climbing a mountain. It’s a catch twenty two situation. We don’t want to feel the way we do, but don’t have the first clue, as to how we go about changing it.   

“Ultimately it comes down to choice. We either carry on living a half life or we decide to climb that mountain. It’s a decision”

Seeking the necessary information is a decision. Accepting that there’s some work ahead is also a decision. We must reach the point where we’re prepared to accept this reality: “it’s only me that can fix this.” Once accepted we’re able to get out there and find the information required.

Attitude of Information Seeking

Much of mental illness is often cured through the individual changing their attitude and viewpoints to life. Often there needs to be a shift in the kind of philosophies we believe and adhere to. Our expectations, and what we believe life should be, needs a good shake.

Let’s for a moment, imagine depression as being similar to a meal devoid of that all important, pinch of salt. Many depressed are this way, because they themselves are leaving the salt off, believing life (or someone else,) should have already put it there for them. It’s an attitude of entitlement. Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.

Unless we look and then bend down to pick up that container of salt from the bottom shelf, where we least expected to find it, we’ll continue to experience life as the bland meal we’re currently tasting.

One to One

I originally set out writing this post as a means of welcoming in one to one appointments. It’s clear to me now though, after sharing my thoughts, that this isn’t the way forward for me at all.

Moving forward often involves shedding the past. I’ve already served my apprenticeship – as a Personal Development Specialist – through the years I spent as an Analytical Hypnotherapist. Personal Development, as opposed to therapy, is partly about the power of group dynamics. Think of this: how is it possible to retain the mental illness of anxiety and depression, when surrounded by people, passionate about life?

“True empowerment comes as a result of finding the driving force behind it: LOVE”

If you’d like to experience me and the rest of The Freedman College Team, you will need to climb, this little mountain.

 

 

Attention From The Gentle Humankind

Attention From The Gentle Humankind

How do we gain this from each other? How do we get people to be attentive to our needs? Do we shout? Are we quiet? Both extremes can gain us attention can’t they? Perhaps we need controversy. Are we inclined to say provocative things? Are we antisocial, spiteful or mean?

Think of the extroverts, they’re certainly attention seekers. Wild dress, or no dress at all! It gets them what they seek. All in all, on one level or another, we’re all playing some kind of game in order to gain the attention of others. We all want to feel less alone. More attention equals less alone.

“What, on the other hand, if you shun this and want time alone?”

Over the years I’ve known plenty of people who’re extremely adept at getting people to reject them. The ways in which rejection is achieved are myriad, and far too complicated, for this particular post. It’s true to say though, being alone, isn’t actually something many people seek. The majority of us are looking for the opposite of alone.

Attention From The Gentle Humankind

And so attention seeking is the norm. To understand the methods we use to seek it, we only need take our minds back to childhood, for a moment. Indeed, in this respect, it could be said that’s all we continue to do throughout the majority of our lives: seek the attention of parents. What we are actually seeking is love. As touched on in previous posts, love, is something slightly lacking at this time.

“Has the balance between love and fear tipped toward the negative and become the overriding driver?”

An abundance of love, found from within ourselves, would potentially stop the constant need to seek the attention of others. Would the unconscious need to seek love and attention from parents, be less prevalent, if we’d received it in abundance, when young?

“Children, with attentive parents, are less likely to grow into adults who seek it in a negative fashion”

Attention seeking adults are currently creating havoc in the world today. We could say this has always been the case. We could even say, the numerous and atrocious activities of violent people from our past, were just the activities of the unconscious seeking approval and attention from neglectful parents.

Attention From The Gentle Humankind

How would things be, if the human mind and its concept of love, were better understood? If there existed an authoritative rule book on parenting – that parents or future parents felt obliged to follow – would there then be less unrest in the world today?

Attention From The Gentle Humankind

One thing’s for sure, if we all stopped using such negative means, for gaining each others love, things would be a little quieter right now. How would it be if we all gained this through gently asking each other, about, each other? Would I have you then? It seems most want this through upset, anger, and controversy though don’t they?

Attention From The Gentle Humankind

They want anger and upset to do the trick. They’d rather this, than any fascination we might hold for their loves, lives, passions, successes, and yes, even their failures. Why is this? What’s happened to the gentle humankind? What’s happened to the interest we used to show for each other? How is it we’ve become so locked up within ourselves?

Attention From The Gentle Humankind

Would you like to tell me about yourself? What’s happening for you today? Can you believe in a genuine interest? Can you display the necessary confidence to be genuinely interested in another?

Self-Belief

Self-belief

The Horseshit is Disempowering

It’s often cited by successful people, that their success, can be directly attributed to a ‘right place, right time’ kind of scenario. In other words, they got lucky. It is in fact horseshit to claim it was all down to luck.

The Reality is Empowering

How would it be if we didn’t wait for luck but just created a right time and right place scenario instead? Or how about we looked to gain the ability to spot opportunity when it presents itself? In reality this is more likely the situation with success, plus of course, that necessary small slice of luck. There must be a degree of talent, mixed up with that luck, for a winning formula to come about.   

Opportunity is Here

Now, it might not seem like an immediately obvious fact, yet taking a glance at beliefs, can help us in several ways. Firstly, the ability to spot opportunity is often hampered by mentality and attitude to life. Secondly, questioning the very things we believe about ourselves, opportunity and indeed luck itself, will help remove any psychological blocks we may have to welcoming in these necessary elements. In addition to this, nurturing our natural talents, is far easier, once we understand how our minds, can unwittingly, lead us in completely the wrong direction.

Good At Something

There is something you’re good at. You may not know it yet and it may be that your natural talents are being hampered through lack of self-belief. With our powerful imaginations we can easily perceive something, but we must also be able to believe it, before we’re able to achieve it. Perceive it, Believe it, Achieve it.

You might now be wondering: what am I good at? You might be thinking that any natural abilities you do have aren’t good enough. Right now they might not be. The point to bear in mind here is, natural talent must be nurtured, and its negative, self-limiting beliefs, that are often holding it back.

Simply saying to yourself: “I’ll never be good enough” is actually enough to ensure you never will be. ‘Never good enough’ is in fact a belief. How do you know you’ll never be good enough? Who told you that? What situation caused you to establish that belief? Was it because you found it difficult or fell at that first hurdle? Don’t believe either your own mind, or the horseshit spouted by people who’ve already made it. There’s a likelihood they see you as becoming competition and would rather you stayed put! Dedication and passion are needed.

Positive Belief

Dedication and passion are fostered and enforced through positive self-belief. The mind that says: “yes, even though this is difficult, in time, I will achieve.” It’s often surprising what people end up doing through self-belief, dedication and passion. Firstly removing those thoughts, (beliefs) that hamper our potential and success, is essential.

Attendance on one of our weekend workshops will show you the way forward. Your application form is here.

Highly Strung

Highly-strung

“Having just spent the last half-hell-hour with an extremely highly-strung person, I thought it prudent, to write about it”

I didn’t plan on writing today, however, due to the therapeutic benefits of writing, here goes. I’m going to break down the nature of ‘highly-strung’ a little, as this might be of benefit, to all of us.

If you suspect you’re of a highly strung nature, you might find it hard to give this your full attention, or even believe you have time for it. So the advice would be: chill out a little, as the following might actually award you some time, by helping you live longer.

Now, it’s not that I’d describe myself as a particularly overly chilled-out kind of person, (you know the sort: dopey, doesn’t give a shit, acting stoned) yet I do find being with highly-strung people, quite stressful.

“To help explain, I’m going to share something with you: I have high frequency deafness”

In relation to deafness, and because it’s happening right now, I’m going to compare the company of highly-strung people, with listening to seagulls. In this moment as I write, I can hear the very unpleasant screeching of seagulls (I have my hearing aids in) but interestingly enough, in the background, there’s the rather melodic cooing sound of a wood pigeon.

“I’m the wood pigeon and my highly strung nemesis is the seagull”

I hear wood pigeons without wearing my hearing aids (lower frequency sound) and only hear seagulls when they’re fitted. You might now ask: “Why don’t you just take your hearing aids out, or switch them off, if you don’t want to hear seagulls?” And I would answer: ‘I just fucking have!’

Anyway, the only reason I’ve been wearing my hearing aids this morning, is because I’ve needed to hear people. Sometimes the aids make that easier. Often, hearing less – of the general screeching of life – would be favourable, by just leaving them out.

Alternative View: The Disease Cures You

With that in mind, what is the alternative view of my deafness? That’s right, escape! Life without hearing aids is often a little gentler and less stressful. Most, it would seem, are living their lives on a slightly different frequency to me: a much higher one!

One twig at a time
One Twig At A Time

It’s my belief, that if we rounded off the corners, and reduced all the sharpness of life, things would be slightly more pleasant. Running around doing everything at high speed is ultimately pointless. Most of us are looking to cram far too much in. We’ve no time for this or that because we’re too busy doing the other. The thing to consider here is this: Being so busy doing the other is potentially as much a means of escape, as my deafness.

“My deafness helps me escape the manic madness of it all, and the manic madness, helps others escape their unfortunate realities”

The reality faced by a highly-strung person, looked at objectively, isn’t a very pleasant one. They’re in a place of fear. People might say to me: “Gosh how unfortunate you are to have a disability.” I would respond by saying we all have our disabilities but most remain oblivious to them. They remain oblivious to their fear and how they’re dealing with it.

Fear

For example, the highly strung person I spent time with this morning, is in a place of fear. She’s recently been promoted to a position that way exceeds her resources. Because of this, she uses her ability to act manic and highly-strung (around calm people) in order to try and intimidate them. In actual fact it’s the method she uses to bully people. Bully those who aren’t aware of her fear that is.

So even though it’s sometimes a method used for intimidation; fearful, highly-strung behaviour, is definitely a disability. Coming back to my point about time, I have as much of this as I need, in order to help people understand their behaviour. Once we have the correct point of view, time is a companion, walking alongside us.

Drugs

So to sum up, highly-strung, is highly wasteful. Those who take speed or cocaine are looking to change their perception of time. They want to chemically alter their conscious perceptions. The alternative, to being inside our heads in this way, is to see ourselves objectively. This enables us to alter things without the need for drugs or manic behaviour.

“Self-obsessed differs greatly to self-possessed”

The highly-strung need to take charge. If not, they’ll continue to waste their lives, perceiving very little. Chill Out Man. Stop screeching like a seagull. Be the wood pigeon I hear so clearly.

If you’d like to know more – about how to know more about you – Contact Us.          

Spontaneity Through Choice

Spontaneity

“I’ve spent the last few hours sitting high above the river Dart”

There’s a little bench situated at the top of a lane called ‘Jawbones’ (don’t ask I’ve no idea). It’s a bit of a climb but worth the view once you’re there. So lovely is the view, that you can easily while away several hours, pondering, and watching all the comings and goings on the river. It’s a nice thing to do.

There are always numerous yachts and pleasure cruisers moving up and down the river. The old fashioned ‘lower ferry’s’ are interesting to watch. There are two of them, each being pulled across the river by little tugboats. When watching them, I often wonder how it is those little boats aren’t pulled apart, by the forces of the tide and weight of the ferry. They work so hard: pulling and pushing their cargo. They’re very strong and persistent those little tugboats.

Making Sense Yet?

Alongside the river runs a heritage railway with its beautiful steam trains running frequently. You hear their whistles from time to time; with its very distinctive sound, there’s even an american locomotive here at the moment. Suffice to say, it’s all very quaint and pretty; set up nicely for the tourists.

I’m not a tourist. I live here. Seeing that view still holds its fascination, yet like most things, if you stare at it long enough, it becomes just that: a view. Seen for the first time it’s extraordinary, less so, once you’ve seen it a few times.

“Many things in life are like this aren’t they?”

Be it the journey to work, the job itself, or dare I say it, a relationship or marriage. We get tired of the repetition: of doing the same things over and over again. So much so, that most of what we do, starts to become automatic and unnoticed.

For example, whilst sitting on my bench at the top of ‘Jawbones’ (yes really) a few people strolled past, saying their hellos and good morning’s, and I’m sure they weren’t even noticing the view. Heads down, only looking up as they noticed me. . . sitting. Perhaps they wanted my bench, only walking on, because it was already taken. Tough luck, I was here first.

Anyway, I think you get it. When we do things repetitively we can become a little dumbed-down by it all. To some extent we can’t avoid this, however, we can seek out ways to limit it. We must make sure we introduce some variety and challenge into our lives.

Spontaneity

Spontaneity is a beautiful word and a beautiful thing when introduced into life. With hindsight, I feel choosing a random thing to do, with the last few hours of my life, would have been favourable. And with that now said, after I’m finished here, I’m off to the beach for a swim. It’s certainly a random and more interesting thing to do than sitting on a bench.

So to the point. If you find yourself grinding your jawbones (get it) with the sameness of things, apply a little spontaneity, and randomness to your life. It’ll make all the difference.

Would you like to become more spontaneous through opening up your choices? Then stop being a tugboat. Contact Us

A Route Without Hills

Living

“On a rest break from cycling yesterday a gentleman approached me and asked me if I was local”

“Well I’m originally from a long way north of here” I replied

“Oh, only how do you cope with riding around here with all the hills? I’ve just recently moved into the area, the other side of the river as a matter of fact, and bought myself a lovely new bike. Because it’s so hilly I’ve only ridden it a few times. Do you know of any routes without hills?”

“Routes without hills, hmm, that’s a tricky one.”

Since the encounter I have thought of a snappy retort: “Have you though about a fucking velodrome mate?” It’s perhaps not in my true nature to be quite so sarcastic, and yet, it did seem a slightly silly question.

Living?

The thing is, it’s the hills that make cycling so much fun. Yes it’s tough climbing them (especially at 20%), however, once at the top, racing down the other side is exhilarating.

Losing weight and getting fit can obviously be achieved on the flat, or in a velodrome for that matter, but there does need to be more to it than that. Experiencing the great outdoors and feeling that sense of achievement when, having struggled up hills for some months, you now find the process easier, must be part of the whole experience. I told my enquiring gentleman to stick with it.

“We can view many things in this light”

If life as a whole were to be a boring ride around a velodrome, or even worse, a continuous easy glide downhill, it really wouldn’t be worth living. We must have the rough with the smooth; the ups and the downs etc. Without challenge, life would be a bit of a meaningless drudge.

It brings to mind those individuals who seem to think that life shouldn’t involve any kind of challenge; in particular emotions that feel painful or difficult to shrug off.

It also brings to mind the thousands of antidepressants prescribed to children in the UK (and no doubt many other countries) simply because the child doesn’t know how to take charge of their mind and emotions.

“No one is teaching them how. Is it not a form of abuse, to neglect a child in such a way, only to then visit a doctor who prescribes pills? Just a thought”

Perhaps parents don’t have the time to deal with children and their unruly emotions? If parents don’t have time for this, why are they having children, in the first place? Oh, I suppose it’s living the velodrome mentality: everything should be like riding on the flat: fast and easy. A brave new world. Tut, tut, so sarcastic!

We could ask: “Why shouldn’t life be an easy journey with no ups and downs? Why does it need to be a challenge?” In answer, all we need do is imagine the brain of a lion trapped in a cage. Imagine it pacing up and down, backwards and forwards, caged in one of those zoo’s we seem so fond of.

Living?

Eventually the lion starts to become unwell, fur falling out, chewing it’s paws just to feel something. If the animal is caged for long enough it will become so unfit and unwell it will die. Parrots are also renowned to be very intelligent creatures who would go the same why without stimulation. Perhaps the answer is to put these animals on antidepressants? No? No. Ridiculous isn’t it. So how is it we think it’s sensible to put a child on them? 

“In the greatest sense we are all still animals”

Those losing touch with their humanity are done for. We are fairly advanced creatures. We do need to train ourselves into how to control our wayward minds. That needs to start from a young age.

A child who doesn’t enjoy cycling up a hill, and only enjoys the rush of freewheeling down one, is the child neglected. We must point out to our children that our humanity dictates the necessity of balance. There is no balance when all we want is pleasure and no discomfort.

“Even though this is the case our discomfort can be in the form of our choosing”

For example, working down a mine for twelve hours a day was a discomfort not necessarily of our choosing. Now we have advanced sufficiently we’re able to steer away from this kind of suffering into challenges that are life enhancing. And there is the key. We must show our children that challenges are not about suffering but are simply things to overcome. A necessity to fully living life.

Eventually we reach the top of the hill and realise the climb wasn’t that bad after all. Believe it or not, challenging ourselves in this way, is actually the easiest route of all. Reading this will help you understand.

It can seem the hardest thing in the world to understand that life is about giving and not having. If you know of a depressed child, would helping them understand the principles here, help them?

We believe it would. Want more? Contact Us.   

Personal Development Courses

So many people dream of having different lives. We know what we want, yet seem limited by forces unknown. Feeling these unknown forces (perhaps in the form of frustration, anger or despair) simply means we’ve reached the limits of our resources.

“The most valuable life skill of all is that of thinking. It is the way in which we think, that decides the kind of life, we experience”

The ability to change our internal environment (how we think), about any given situation, awards us the ability to change our external experience. Let’s use the example of a business facing staff relationship difficulties.

Relationship difficulties within companies are often the result of poor management. The relationships between staff members often needs to be managed. If the managers themselves lack sufficient resources, in terms of how they relate to people, this will be reflected through the business as a whole.

Now, the manager in our example is a woman who believes men are idiots. The reasons for this are in some ways complicated, yet in others, very simple. The complication is why she believes this, and yet, the easy solution lies in how. In other words, all our manager needs to ask herself is: how am I creating this problem with my staff? At this moment in time there’s no need for us to complicate things by looking to understand the psychology of why. From time to time we all face self-imposed difficulties. The quick solution is all we need right now. This is found by asking: How? The how is simple.

This is How

“The manager in our example only shares the minimum of information with her staff”

Communication is the main issue. When teaching her staff she omits lots of detail. Because of this they make lot’s of mistakes. Once the mistakes are made, she’s then able to firmly place the blame on others and announce to herself: this is happening because all men are are idiots. The manager is simply fulfilling a belief – that becomes fact – through her inability to objectively see what she’s doing.

A Simple Thinking Tool

The simple thinking tool of asking ourselves: how am I creating this problem? is powerful in several ways. Firstly, when we see the faulty generalisation of our beliefs, and how we’re fulfilling them, we’re then able to change. Secondly, and potentially the most difficult element to this, is we’re able to take ownership of the problem. It is us that creates our own difficulties. Even though this is the case, if we’ve reached the limit of our resources, change is impossible. Our manager is unable to change until she’s able to see her behaviour objectively. This is where development courses come into play.

Once the manager in our example is made aware of the error in her thinking – so she may improve her communication skills – her business will begin to thrive. Her staff will be happier, feeling increasingly competent in their duties, and she will begin to feel less stress and confusion.

Our Personal Development Weekend Courses are beliefs and relationships focused for very good reason. The valuable life-skills-resource of improved thinking turns dreams into reality. In addition to this, improving how we think, removes the negative emotions that keep us stuck is self-destructive patterns.

To book your place on one of our courses complete the form here.