“Let’s be honest, it doesn’t come naturally to all of us”
And even though we might not particularly enjoy children we may find ourselves with them. With this in mind, it is possible to learn how to adore them. You were one yourself after all.
I’m going to ask you some important questions now: Were you liked as a child? Did you get a sense of being loved? Did you feel the adults around you enjoyed your company?
These are interesting questions because it’s surprising how many children there are, who’s parents or carers, don’t particularly enjoy their company. In fact it’s often those parents who have made their children ‘mates’ that enjoy their company the most. The problem being, children need adults to be parents, not mates.
Mates don’t set boundaries, or teach children how to behave once mature. As adults we’re not actually here to make friends with our children, we’re here to raise them and set good example of how to be grown. There’s a big difference between mates and parents. If you need children to be your friends perhaps you should consider getting out more.
“So, even though we know appropriate boundaries dictate that children’s mates are other children, we can still adore their company as their parents or carers”
Children are extremely sensitive and will know if we’re enjoying being around them (as parents and carers) or not. In fact, when we get to the nitty-gritty of the situation, people who don’t enjoy children were often the ones not appreciated when they were small. Many of us have been taught to actually dislike our young through being disliked when young ourselves.
I myself was disliked. Children often find it hard to get the love and attention they crave from their parents. Bad behaviour is often resorted to when good behaviour just gets us ignored. As a means of getting attention from my parents, I’d often be very pessimistic and down, complaining about anything and everything. My father would call me ‘pessimistic Percy’ and yet I didn’t mind that so much; at least I was getting through, in some capacity. Getting on his nerves got me attention. Albeit the negative kind. As children that’s all we want and need: Our parents or carers love and attention. Hard for some to digest is it not?
“Rather a packet of crisps and something sugary while we drink our gin and tonic hey? Fucked up isn’t it?”
Here’s the key. To adore our children we must learn to enjoy their company. We must learn to enjoy their inquisitiveness; their seriousness at play; their beauty and innocence. When we acknowledge good behaviour we’re able to appreciate them at their very best: attentive to us and our positive love. To do this, we must learn to love the child within ourselves that wasn’t. Sound simple? It is.
You can learn more on an educational workshop. Here is the application form. See you soon.