A Desperate Search

Once again we’re seeing a lot of media coverage relating to mental health. Answers are being sought. Universities are talking about the lack of mental health support for the young, and we’re reminded of the number of people, taking their own lives. Suicide is now the biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK with 84 taking their own lives every week.

“The feeling, is there’s a search for some kind of relief from the pain, but we must learn the realities of life, if we’re to survive”

To see death, as a better option than life, quite obviously, means our search is now over. When all options have been explored, and death the only one left, the focus has turned to the pain and nothing else. The mind has become locked into the depression and desperation the suicidal must feel.

No choice is the answer to finding this escape. Death is the result of there being no more choices left. Death though, is no choice, at all. For when we are dead, there is nothing. Can we empathise with those who feel that death must be better than all the pain? Can we understand the will to die being stronger than the will to live? I’m sure we can.

“I can remember feeling such emotional pain from my loneliness that I began to hallucinate, but the lasting cure I’ve found, is to love”   

There are those, so tormented by their loneliness, that their minds have constructed a fictional reality around them. This is a survival strategy. So strong is the will to live, that the mind will construct an imagined reality, in an attempt to alleviate the pain; to try and change the reality of the world they’re currently living in. Psychiatric wards are filled with such people. People with no one to love.

It’s my belief, the main reasons for suicide, are guilt, fear and loneliness. And so imagine it being possible to become one with the mind of a suicidal person. In order to truly understand what they’re going through – and offer some options they’re currently unable to see – we must be able to share their pain; their thoughts. Could we lengthen their lives by doing this? Could we also spare those left behind from the guilt, pain and confusion, suicide causes?

“Take a moment to imagine something for me”

Imagine being the last person on earth. How would you feel? Would the loneliness you’re likely to feel be painful enough for you to take your own life? Or would you find a way to deal with this? If the suicidal were placed into such a situation – where they believed they were the last man on earth – would they still commit suicide? We can only wonder; yet is it possible they wouldn’t? The reason why they mightn’t, is because suicide is often all about the people left behind, is it not? It’s about wanting others to share the pain. There is no love in suicide.

“If you were feeling suicidal – and the last man on earth – would you instead find something to love? After all, there’s no one left to feel your pain, now, is there?”

In this self-centered world, the suicidal have given up the futile search for understanding from others, and resorted to the final solution. It’s not until they’re dead do we, the closest to them, actually feel anything. We must feel this before they die if we’re to help them. To do this, we must snap out of our delusions and realise: many are unable to cope with the loneliness of having no one to love. They’re unable to cope with the lack. Is it not being totally focused on their suffering that causes the suicidal to pull the plug? There is no love in suicide.

“An empowering love for another keeps our will to live, stronger, than our will to die”  

Thankfully the vast majority of us don’t resort to suicide. When we’re despairing, with few options in sight, there is often a place in our minds (a not entirely conscious one) where we’re able to feel safe and loved. The suicidal have potentially never been shown this place, or have lost sight of it, along the way.

“What if we took hold of a depressed and suicidal youngster and asked: What is it – exactly – that you’re trying to achieve in life? Where are you headed? Who do you love? Who are you doing this for?”

Where did we all lose the love that takes so much of the loneliness away?