“From a failing relationship, to a limiting belief, once we let go our suffering ends”
It is actually an understanding that goes back thousands of years. The reason we struggle with it though, is because it’s often not until we reach the point – where we’re ready and prepared to let things go – do we begin to understand its wisdom and truth.
Once again it’s ignorance of our ignorance that’s holding us back. It’s reaching the point, where we’re actually prepared to accept that we know less than the sages of thousands of years ago, that’s important.
“Important, because when we do, we begin the process of enlightenment”
Those of us who desperately hold on to those things we either no longer need – or no longer need us – that suffer the greatest. We could even go as far as to say, holding on to a life, that’s no longer being lived, has a lot to do with suffering in old age.
“Gaining a beautiful life has nothing to do with status, equality, or justice”
A beautiful life is gained when we’re raised by adults who empower us through their love. Their empowering love manifests itself through a burning desire to teach us how to be fully grown. Being educated and informed, as to the ways of the world, and entering adulthood with our eyes open, means we’re properly equipped, to see through the lies.
Inequality is the result of beliefs held by the individual and the level of their dependence created through ignorance. The uneducated, ignorant individual, can do nothing about inequality. The educated man will see it for what it truly is: The belief in have or have not. The main thing the educated man truly wants and needs – to live a beautiful life – is a family and an empowering love, driving him, to raise our children to be fully grown adults. A beautiful cycle.
“Justice and injustice are a fallacy”
There is no such thing as justice. Where there is no justice there is no injustice. We have peace of mind, and resolution to the wrongs inflicted upon us, when we fully understand the need for painful lessons in life. Seeking justice, instead of understanding, keeps us as children wanting an immature vengeance. We’re taught: In order to ease our pain, we must cause more.
“The response to pain, from an adult love, is the search for understanding”
“If we’re going to award a child the right to life, we must also be prepared to offer this same child, the right to die. The fact we need a court of law, to decide this for us, is absurd”
Parents, who have no model or concept of what it means to be fully grown, are constantly fighting a battle with themselves. They are quite literally fighting for control over their emotions and powerful will of their inner child. They cannot stand to let go of a child they believe to be their property. The child does not belong to them it belongs to itself. We can empathise with their suffering, yet how can we possibly display sympathy, for parents who are prepared to put their needs (to be free of suffering) before the rights of the child? The paradox, is now the courts have instructed them to allow the child to die in peace, their suffering will end.
“The worlds beliefs in money, equality and justice, will change, once we’re free from the suppression of ignorance”
True freedom is the ability to question the beliefs and expectations of others. Amongst many other things, the mature parent, is able to teach the child power of choice. They ask: “If you choose this option what will the possible outcomes be? Are those outcomes something you want?”
Contact Us if you need to know more about freeing yourself from limiting beliefs.
“Imagine being in the company of a work colleague who constantly criticises someone else you work with”
Every morning all you hear is negatives and criticism over and over again. The effect of this, over time, is very interesting. You actually start to have the same negative thoughts about a colleague, you barely ever see, and certainly know nothing about. In fact all you do know, about this colleague, is he’s supposedly an idiot. This opinion has been placed upon you by proxy. It’s second hand information and incorrect at that.
The information is incorrect in respect of it being someone else’s opinion. To make matters worse this opinion is from your manager. The reality of the situation is, it’s the inability of the manager to properly train your colleague, that’s the real issue. He can’t do his job properly because the manager can’t do theirs. So poor are things now, and so lacking in resources is this manager, that the solution found is to resort to a playground game.
The manager has resorted to alienating all other members of staff against him. This is the game. It’s now at such a stage, that he makes mistake after mistake, and all picked up on by his alienated colleagues. He either leaves by his own volition (if he even has that left) or eventually gets sacked. A case for constructive dismissal if there ever was one.
“We can apply the same infectious nature to insanity”
For example, spending time with someone insanely confused. If you were to spend enough time with someone locked into such a state – about nearly every aspect of their lives – you too would become confused and uncertain. If your time was exclusive to such an individual it would only makes matters worse.
Imagine living on a ward within a psychiatric hospital. Your sane to begin with, but how long do you think it would take, for you to become confused too? Days, months or years? I think we’d all be surprised how quickly – the insanity of confusion and uncertainty – would take effect.
The nature of uncertainty in a mind that’s never known certainty is extraordinary. In such a mind, the myriad of options – presented to all of us each day – creates a kind of hell. Not knowing which way to turn, at every, any and each junction presented to us, creates a stress most of us would be unable to deal with. Unsurprisingly, once such a person actually does make a decision, it’s invariably the wrong one. Wrong, because that’s what they’ve been taught.
During their childhood every decision, opinion and choice, was knocked out of them by a controlling parent. According to this parent, every decision they did eventually make, had some element that was incorrect. Imagine years of this kind of abuse. In time you’d not know your head from your toe, and would require some kind of outside assistance, in order to cope with life.
“The alternative solution, to outside assistance, would be to reduce the number of options available”
The tendency then would be to close down life in an attempt to escape confusion (hello psychiatric ward). Life is all about options and choices, indeed the saying goes: “In your choices lies your talent.” Consider how an inability to make good choices, coupled with the belief those made are always incorrect or poor, creates a no win situation. The outcome a controlling parent wanted in the first place: Total control over the mind of a child. A monstrous act created by a monster. Their really are monsters out there. Murder is nothing of a crime compared to this. I’d rather be dead than confused all the time.
Thankfully I’m alive and rational enough to share my understandings and realisations with you and the rest of the world. These realisations have been achieved through decades of studying humans and their minds. Be cautious of who you choose to spend your time with. Contact Us.
“There’s a certain chemistry required to achieve a beautiful state of mind”
When you’ve found it you’ll know it. It’s a place of calm certainty that’s felt when everything is just ‘so’ and you’ve let certain things go.
It’s not a state of mind to be maintained. We’re not looking for a constant, meditative state, where we’ve practically switched off. If we had that, we’d never get anything done . However, we do need moments of certainty, and moments of calm. Without them, there’s no rest and no pause from the madness, of modern life.
“The way we find this state is to set ourselves a goal and then reach a place in our minds where we just know – with absolute certainty – that we’re on the right track!”
There may not even be any kind of tangible results from our efforts yet. However, it’s just a sense that everything’s been setup, to the best of our current ability. Although we know we can’t sit back on our laurels for too long, we can give ourselves permission to rest awhile, and allow things to develop as we intend.
“Sometimes it’s good to give yourself permission to accept you’ve done your best; it’s enough. The universe can do without your input, at least for a short while, anyway”
There is one important question here though: What is your intention? We do need a little tension in our lives after all. It’s this tension that pulls us along and motivates us to take that next step. Contact Us if you’d like to know more about achieving A Beautiful State of Mind. We must remember: procrastination is the thief of time.
“From time to time we find ourselves riddled with doubt and uncertainty. Should we shouldn’t we? Do I don’t I? Perhaps, maybe, could be. Doubt, doubt, doubt”
Getting stuck with doubt is extremely debilitating. It’s a little like quicksand in its nature: the more we struggle, the deeper we sink. Wrestling with doubt is also very tiring. When we’re trapped in the confusion, brought on by a doubt and uncertainty, we can even feel like we’re going slightly mad. We can begin to feel like we no longer know our own mind and begin to rely on others to make decisions for us.
If you can imagine a child emotionally abused for years, having all their decisions and choices questioned, criticised and invalidated time and time again, they eventually become weak and subservient to their abuser. The insanity of confusion and doubt is so strong, they become completely reliant on their abusers to make decisions for them. They literally no longer know their own mind. Self-doubt seeded over years of abuse.
There are relationships like this in adulthood. A gentle soul can have all their assertive, decision making skills, sucked out of them, through the subtle and insidious installation of doubt. “Are you sure?” Oh you bet I am.
“There are those, who make a point of going out of their way, in order to cast doubt on all our thoughts and actions. We must watch and listen closely for this kind of abuse. In time it becomes the norm, and we no longer see or hear its abusive, controlling nature”
The game of instilling doubt is played as a form of control. If we want to damage the self-esteem of a child, for example, all we need do is question and invalidate their choices through criticism. Do this for long enough, and eventually, they’ll simply give up making any decisions for themselves at all. Then we’ll have them totally at our mercy, completely in our control. We must ask why would anyone need to do this to a child? In answer to this, it’s frightened, insecure adults, who need to do this. In particular, it’s adults who believe they own their children, or indeed their partners.
“Sometimes, those who we believe to be powerful, are only this way as a result of stealing power from others. Society is full of these kind of people”
Being assertive with our decision making does take courage. From deciding what clothes to wear before going out for dinner, to the bigger decisions in life, there will always be a degree of courage involved. We must overcome our fear of change and the chances of making mistakes. If we fear mistakes, either through having made many in the past, or having this fear instilled in us as children, we will of course be reluctant to make quick, impulsive decisions. There are times though, when it’s these kind of snap decisions, that open up our lives in ways we previously didn’t imagine.
“It is said, there are is no such thing as a mistake, only feedback. The feedback that gives us the opportunity to do things differently next time around. Without mistakes, how will we ever know?”
There are certain things in life we can be sure of. One of these things is that change can only enhance life. An unwelcome change may not feel like it at the time, yet eventually, hindsight always shows us the necessity and importance of change. We must make all manner of decisions every day. If we doubt everyone we make, we become stuck, and we stagnate.
Watch a listen closely to those around you. Are they invalidating and questioning your everyday choices? If so, this kind of toxic situation, will be creating your confusion. Is it time to move on? Decide.
“It seems, whatever’s going on in life, it’s just a repetition of something that’s happened before”
The same old news over and over again. We ask a work colleague how things are and the response is: “oh you know, same old, same old.” Is it time to get out of this cycle? Is it time to do something different? The expression is: ‘If you always do what you’ve always done then you’ll always get what you’ve always got,’ and if what you’re getting is frustration, confusion and disappointment, the solution lies in change.
Let’s say you don’t feel that something is working. However unrealistic your expectations might be, if there’s nothing happening in response to your investments of time and energy, a rethink is surely needed. Perhaps the first step is making expectations realistic. What are the underlying reasons for this? Do we need to face a reality the mind would prefer not see?
For example, it could well be, the underlying reason something isn’t working, is a fear that it will. If we ask ourselves: “what do I see myself doing when this is working?” And the answer is: “I see a lot of pain and upheaval in the near future,” potentially and because of this, the mind will look to sabotage our efforts. Are unrealistic expectations, that lead to frustration and disappointment, simply a method the mind is using to avoid the hassle of the inevitable upheaval of change? An interesting question, is it not?
“The mind certainly has many means of defending itself when unwelcome change is involved”
We become creatures of habit because of the minds reluctance to deviate from what it’s comfortable with; from what it knows and understands. The mind is minimalist and looks to use the least amount of energy in any situation. The path of least resistance is habit. Mind will seek to keep us within our comfort zone and look to protect us from change that moves us beyond it.
Uncertainty is one of the biggest enemies to making the necessary decisions for change. When uncertainty is involved, again, we can see this as the mind’s way of keeping us stuck. If we don’t know which way to turn at the crossroads, the uncertainty of this will keep us sitting there, with the engine running, wasting time and energy. Some words of caution to follow. There are those who will teach us this uncertainty.
“Our decisions are constantly questioned by such people”
Our opinions and know-how always countermanded in some way. It’s one of the most common forms of emotional abuse. Those who want to keep us trapped teach us uncertainty to weaken our spirit. Picture an old man walking two paces behind his wife of 40 years. He’s half deaf and blind; the only escape. He has a wife who’s nagged, browbeaten him and questioned his assertive decisiveness for years; now he’s broken and weak. Perhaps it’s easier to picture a woman in similar circumstances. Either way, some people are very, very clever, at causing us to question and doubt our thoughts and actions.
“It’s cowardly for us to remain in such toxic relationships”
Further to this we then start to teach ourselves uncertainty with fear. We say: “What if it doesn’t work?” We say: “How can I stand to lose this money?” I say, get out of the cycle and live your life with this:
Personal Development Workshops: The way and means of breaking the cycle. Contact us.
“It might seem very simplistic, and perhaps a little clichéd to say: we create a peaceful world once we find peace within ourselves. Even so, what if this were true?”
What exactly do we have to lose through seeking this peace from within? If our world becomes peaceful as a result, we’ll all be grateful for the effort and if nothing happens, there’s nothing’s lost.
If we were to follow some eastern teachings about finding peace within, we’d be told that using the word effort, is wrong. We’d be led into a world of symbolism, metaphor and double speak, sufficient to confuse the hell out of us, and into throwing the book away. We’d sink back into our funk, confusion and depression, before we could even say the word taofuck. So let’s establish some facts to begin with. If you want to find peace, wellbeing and happiness, you will need to put some effort in.
We certainly don’t advocate the worlds belief: no pain no gain, as this would tie us up, with employing the methods used by the majority. You know the kind of thing: Keep busy, stiff-upper-lip, pills, alcohol, sex, doctors, money, consumerism, you name it, all the western world solutions, to tie us up in knots.
“So when we talk of effort, we’re referring to the effort involved, with being retrospective. The effort it takes to examine the root to our discomfort and unease”
My background is Analytical Hypnotherapy. As a result, I’ve come to understand, it’s the examination of memories from early experiences, that enable us to take charge of any negative influence they may still hold over us.
There’s no denying it’s only the courageous who’re prepared to undergo this kind of analysis. Over the years spent as an analyst, I met many courageous souls, who’d reached a point in their lives, where time in my chair had become a necessity. I’m by no means suggesting we all do that, what I am suggesting though, is we should all take a leaf out of their book. Retrospection is the way and means to break free from the negative influences of the past.
As example let’s look again at depression. We read about the early demise of celebrities who’ve spent a lifetime struggling with depression. It’s my view, and that of my colleagues, that this kind of depression is borne from a fruitless search. As you will have experienced this yourself, think back to searching for a lost item; perhaps it’s keys, purse or wallet. When we’re unable to find a desperately needed item, we become frustrated, and eventually downhearted.
Now imagine when this search is for something metaphysical. Imagine when this search is for love. Potentially, it could be a love we’ve never experienced, but longed for all our lives. Through whatever means we just can’t find it. There’s no satisfaction. We’ve tried everything: dozens of relationships, sex, drugs, consumerism. . . yep you’ve guessed it, all the things we’re told to believe make us happy, complete and well.
“When the search is for a love we’ve never know, all we find, is frustration leading to depression. Until the next time that is. The pattern and process just begins again. And we wonder why depression comes and goes”
The solution is to cease the external search. We must stop looking to find some kind of satisfaction through external means. The answer really does lie within. What if the presenters, actors, actresses or pop stars, stopped seeking love, through the adoration fame brings? Would this mean we’d have less artistic excellence? I doubt it. Potentially our artistic excellence would be recognised for having a very different nature. Not through the work of tortured souls, but from peaceful souls who’ve found what the answer is. A true acceptance of a self created through retrospection.
The cure to loneliness will never be recognition from others, just as the search for love outside of ourselves, will always prove fruitless. Those things you love about others are within you too. Retrospection might just help you know.
“What qualities do we need in order to really listen?”
What is it that makes a good listener? Is it the case, that it’s only those who actually want to be heard, that are? Is it not so much about people listening, but more about our ability, to command the ear?
We’ve all had times when we’ve been talking and known we’re not being heard. I can tell you from experience, being heard, for what we’re really saying, is an absolute rarity. It’s those who’re able to hear the underlying, unconscious messages in our language, who’re the true listeners.
“Perhaps what needs to happen, is the words being spoken, must be considered by the listener to have value”
If we don’t rate the person speaking, as having anything of value to add to our lives, will we ever listen? Do we value ourselves enough to listen? Sometimes, when our self-esteem is low, we feel threatened by those who have something valuable to say. On these occasions we simply block out what’s being said.
It is of course important we have good rapport with those we want to get a message to. Talking about those things that are of a common interest, to both talker and listener, is one of those key ingredients for good conversation. In fact, not saying much at all, and simply allowing others to talk about what interests them, can be sufficient.
Pacing and leading is the method we must use to get our own message across. We listen intently and match the speed, cadence and tonality (even accent) of the other voices. We then look to gently lead the conversation onto topics that relate to our message and our interests.
One very useful consideration at this point, is to be aware of how the filtering systems of our beliefs, effect the listener and what they actually hear. Perhaps you can relate to how sometimes you’ve said something and the listener has completely misconstrued what you’ve said. This is the filtering mechanism of the mind and its beliefs at work.
“If we have poor understanding of what’s being said, we may compensate for this, by responding through the filters of what we do understand or believe”
This goes some way to explaining why, a lot of the time, it’s pretty much a waste of time looking to change someones mind about an issue they resolutely believe in. Unless we begin, by explaining the value in questioning what they believe, we’ll have little chance of changing it.
Finally, listening is also about attention. Gaining a persons attention, so as we may pull them of the track of their own thoughts, if only for a moment, is key. Many people spend a great deal of time lost in their own thoughts. So lost in this way are some, that speaking their name, or even gently touching their arm, will be necessary to gain their attention. Gentleness is also often overlooked.
“It’s worth bearing in mind, if you want to be heard, you must be prepared to listen. If you’re not really listening, how can you expect others, to give you their attention?”
We’re all shouting at each other really, and often it’s those who speak in mild, gentle tones, who speak the loudest. The key, is gaining the listeners attention, in the first place. What needs to happen for someone to gain your full attention? What is your passion? What is really being said here? What are people really seeking when talking to you? Do you value yourself enough to give them your time and full attention?
Are you able to see and feel what someone is saying? Now you’ve cracked it. Rare is it not? Be cautious though, it’s very tiring.
“The majority of us have something specific we want to be good at. This, of course, is where the personal element of Personal Development comes into play”
Let’s say your goal was Emotional Maturity. It’s certainly a grand goal to have, and one that benefits not only the individual, but society as a whole. Becoming emotionally mature assists your life and the lives of many. Just being around someone who has this development in mind is a refreshing and beneficial place to be.
From our standpoint, emotional maturity, is based on wholeness. Wholeness is achieved through raised awareness of the self and drivings. Emotional maturity has been achieved, when our drivings become less self-centered, and more concerned with the greater good. This is a fabulous marker for recognising our own maturity. What are your true motivations?
“Setting great examples to those around us is also an indication of our emotional maturity”
There is so much we can do, that sets great example, to demonstrate this. Take for example picking up rubbish from the streets. If we do this angrily, looking to shame the litter bugs, it defeats the objective. Alternatively, picking up after others, then calmly placing it in bins, sets good example. We’re able to do this when guided by a maturity that understands this kind of behaviour also gets noticed. And better still, it gets noticed, in a positive light. It’s setting this type of good example that makes the difference to those who are less mature than ourselves. They need our positive influence.
To continue with the emotion of anger, as example for a moment, we can know that becoming angry, through the inconsiderate and unthinking behaviour of others, is only useful when directed in a constructive way. It’s only when we direct our annoyance – away from the unthinking child – but at the root of the problem (immature parenting) will we effect change. Emotional maturity dictates we do this, not by shouting and blaming, but through understanding.
To explain further, let’s bring things down another level: What is at the root of immature parenting? Statistics give us a clue to this. Birth rates amongst the poorest in society are on the rise. Why is this? The belief that lack of money equals lack of opportunity may well have a bearing on this. An unthinking attitude to life – only barely self-aware, and as such subservient to our instinctive drivings – obviously limits our options and opportunities.
“It’s not the amount of money we have that dictates this, it’s whether or not we’re able to see the alternatives, through being shown good example”
It is possible to live a full, creative and happy life, without being wealthy? Indeed it is, and all we need now, are more people setting good example of how this is done. Emotional maturity is the start and a prerequisite to all of the above.
The first thing we must understand is how we’re currently all being played. It really doesn’t matter what’s being presented to us through the media, all we need know, is its nature: Gameplay.
If we look at the big picture, in terms of migration and the displacement of millions of people from war torn countries, this picture helps us understand how leaders are playing on the world stage.
For example, if a chemical attack were staged, what would this kind of plant serve? Would staging chemical attacks, give world leaders reason enough to get involved with a civil war, that’s raging out of control?
Is world war – all be it a proxy war in Syria – something human minds crave for? Humans enjoy fighting. Gameplay leads to an inevitable scrap. In fact, gameplay, is often the precursor, to a full blown ‘gloves off’ fight, on any playground.
“With all this said, let’s bring it all back down to earth again and talk about the individual”
From recent experience I fully understand the power of the majority view. Even if this view is at opposite ends of the scale. This scale could range from lackadaisical to warmongering, or passionate to indifferent, and it would still infect us all, when expressed by a majority. The majority view is very powerful yet not necessarily correct.
“Think about the majority view on alcohol. It was once believed, a small amount of piss was good for us, now we understand this to be bunkum”
The ability to set ourselves – above the game-view of the majority – is gained when we embrace our true individuality. In order to achieve this, it’s tempting to imagine this individuality, as superior in some way. All we’re likely to get through this attitude though, is membership to another majority group; and a very unpleasant one at that! Pointless. So no, separating ourselves from the majority, through believing in superiority, is counterproductive.
“We rise above the majority by embracing our individuality and changing the direction of our thinking”
By being clear in our minds about what our purpose and direction is, and having this as our motivation, we raise our game; not through thinking we’re somehow superior, but through being led by cleverness. There’s no cleverness in thinking we’re superior. There is cleverness in believing our driving is one of compassion and love. With this understanding in place, the only game we need play, is one driven by the positive emotions they create.
It’s clearly stated in the rules of this game, if we want love for ourselves, the world and others, we must look to teach: – ‘those things we understand that others presently don’t.’ In other words, once we understand what the cleverness of love would do about war, we must then teach others about this.
What would love do about war? Would love find a peaceful resolution by making a smart move within the world-game? And if so, what can you, as the individual, do about this? Perhaps, all you’d need, is an understanding of the nature of the games we all play.
“We know the vast majority of people reading this blog are law abiding, loving citizens, and so the following thought experiment, is highly speculative and hypothetical”
Let’s say you wanted someone dead. That’s right, your mind is made up, and the only resolution to the issue is murder.
Oh yes, the ‘red mist’ has descended, and in our private thoughts we harbour murderous intentions. Thankfully these kind of thoughts rarely take the step from fantasy to reality. They’re usually very fleeting; not sustained enough to cause us, or the recipient of our thoughts, any harm at all.
So, hypothetically speaking, let’s say, on this occasion, the red mist hasn’t dissipated, and you’ve decided on murder. After some further thought you’ve also decided on the means: Poison. Yes indeed, poison is the weapon of choice.
There are many, many ways to take a life; dozens of ways we can inflict harm on another human being, and yet, poison has been chosen. Before we actually carry out our murderous intentions though, let’s just take a moment to examine exactly why this method.
It could simply be down to convenience, ease of use, or, as is most likely, it’s the delay before it takes effect that’s important. This time delay gives you, the perpetrator, time to escape after the trap has been laid. A bomb with a time delay would have the same effect, but this of course, would be extremely indiscriminate. Okay, if you’re a terrorist with indiscriminate killing, in mind. Our intention though, is to just kill one or two people.
“Also, let’s think about the nature of poison, and how it does its job. Once administered, what exactly are we thinking, and what does this say about us?”
In other words, what is the psychology, behind our choice of weapon? Everything we say and do to others is a clear indication of our true nature. If we stuck a knife in someone, for example, it’s potentially our anger that’s driven such a violent act. We’re more likely to be young and angry when using a knife.
The use of poison would suggest a more scheming, calmer, use of planning. Sure, anger may be at the seat of the driving, and yet we’re not so clouded by it, that we blindly lash out. We’re planning and scheming. We don’t want to get found out. We don’t want the weapon to be traced back to us in any way. Or if we do, it’s deliberate, and doubt can be cast on whether its origin, can really be authenticated.
“Perhaps we want to instil doubt and fear at the same time. The long game may be our intention. Disruption, of entire countries, might be our long term goal. We understand how to divide and conquer”
All things said, calculated acts of murder, are committed by those whose brains are unable to see peaceful paths. Revenge is driven by an inability to control emotions. We’re stuck with angry feelings that we believe can only be resolved through re-inflicting the hurt and harm we feel we’ve suffered.
When our power and control is threatened we commit murder. If someone is seen to have sold us out, so to speak, we must seek revenge or lose face. Those who give our secrets away are seen as traitors who must be destroyed. History is full of people who’ve been murdered simply because they’ve told the truth; revealed secrets. The secrets we all have. The lies we all hide behind.
“Words can be used as poison”
There are numerous cases of domestic abuse, where someone has taken their own life, as a result of being ground down, through years of verbal abuse from a partner. Tell someone they’re worthless, useless or hopeless for long enough, and eventually, they’ll believe it. Imagine the damage words of this nature do to the self-esteem of children. Either directly or when in earshot of parents arguing.
Poison has to be the most cruel and calculating way anyone can take another’s life. Those who use poison, be it through words or chemicals, are the worst kind of human. The worst kind, because this poison, is only an extension of what already exist within themselves: Hatred, cowardice and fear. Frightened, scheming cowards, use poison. We must be very wary. Wary and aware of what does not exist within the mind of the poisoner too.
He’s sixteen, more mobile now he owns a moped. His girlfriend is called Vanessa, certainly a beautiful butterfly, in his eyes that is; he loves her dearly.
It’s mainly bravado with Kelly, but isn’t that how it is for most sixteen year olds. They know it all, and we know how much we don’t. He jumps right in and calls me ‘big fella.’
“And how are you this morning big fella?” he’ll say.
Kelly complains about his stepfather, who tells him not to spend his money, but to save for a bigger motorcycle instead. I asked him:
‘So what’s so wrong with that?”
“Sounds like a good idea to me” Stepfathers have their uses.
Kelly tells me he wants to pass his driving test and buy a car, “better job prospects” and all that. I read between the lines, of how a girlfriend he loves so dearly, feels about the whole affair.
The stepfather is quite canny because he knows Kelly won’t be told right out. He won’t be told:
“Stop spending your money on that little girl who has none of her own, it’s not your responsibility, her happiness you know.”
He’s sixteen and romantic you see, although there’s being romantic and there’s being foolhardy. Closely related perhaps.
On one level, it may well be, stepfather knows the job young Kelly took on when he wasn’t around. Young Kelly the warrior. Um… yes, that job of keeping mummy happy. The one so many young boys, with only their mummy’s to care for, take on.
He sees it within his stepson; how he cares for young, and moody Vanessa.
“She seems a bit moody and sullen that girl” he’d say to Kelly’s mum. “Nah she’s just young” she replies.
“Young or not, it’s what she is: A player with the warriors emotions”
A warrior cannot fight the game of life for long, or to the best of his ability, when taking responsibility for the happiness of two. Vanessa must learn, or find out the hard way, because her boyfriend is now in The Company of Friends.
The Company of Friends is an organisation with a mission to enlighten. They’re clandestine, all seeing, and wise. They understand the importance of being self-assured, as our young warrior would seem. The truth of self-assured though, is to be self-aware, something you can be, no matter the age. We wonder what would happen if someone said to Vanessa: “The reason you’re grumpy is because it gets you attention, and nothing other than that, my dear.” Would she learn to be happy, to make herself that way?
“An example of where age, or time served, does not equate to experience”
Also, they’re very clever at spotting bravado; as the young warrior must display. Very clever at spotting the takers in life too. Those looking for an easy ride. Ultimately, there is no such thing, but people will feed their nonsense illusions, will they not?
There is no confusion. Love sets you free. Kelly is not in love, he’s just found someone new (now mother is taken care of) to absorb the belief in his role: to make others happy. An impossible task that will in time bring him to his knees.
Take responsibility for yourselves peeps, there is no one else going to do it for you, least not a child. Least not our warrior, who’s now, in The Company of Friends.
COMPANY OF FRIENDS
When I die, let them judge me by my company of friends
Let them know me as the footprints that I left upon the sand
Let them laugh for all the laughter
Let them cry for laughter’s end
But when I die, let them judge me by my company of friends
When I die, let them toast to all the things that I believe
Let them raise a glass to consciousness
And not spill a drop for grief
Let the bubbles rise at midnight
Let their tongues get light as thieves
And when I die, let them toast to all the things that I believe
I believe in restless hunger
I believe in red balloons
I believe in private thunder
In the end I do believe
I believe in inspiration
I believe in lightning bugs
I believe in slow creation
In the end I do believe
I believe in ink on paper
I believe in lips on ears
I believe what’s shared is savored
In the end I do believe
I believe in work on Sundays
I believe in raising barns
I believe in wasting Mondays
In the end I do believe
I believe in intuition
I believe in being wrong
I believe in contradiction
In the end I do believe
I believe in living smitten
I believe all hearts will mend
I believe our book is written
By our company of friends
During the alien war of 1789 the Mulligatawny were cruelly hunted down, quite literally, in their dozens. It was believed, eating a dose of Mulligatawny, would easily give you the strength and courage to fight off these alien invaders. This belief, as we well know, was to no avail. The aliens won.
“A warrior cast alien life form, that travelled an unimaginable distance across the universe, now living quite harmlessly, in the gut of the elite human animal”
Even though the aliens won the war of 1789 it is understood that on eating pigs arse (sausages) the alien gut dwellers were, until recently, being kept calm and well fed. With modern day working conditions being as they are though, the craft of ‘sausage-knotting’ (famously the late Ken Dodd worked as one in his youth) has become almost as extinct as the Mulligatawny itself. All of this has led to a marked reduction in the ingestion of pigs arse by the human elite. The knock on effect being, the alien gut dweller, has begun to change in form.
“As a result of sampling the effluent, in the sewers of large cities, it’s understood the aliens have started leaving their human hosts to become a much more social animal. These new evolved life forms can be found inhabiting the sewers in large communities we now call ‘fatbergs.’”
– Spokesman for Water and Sewerage Services London
“Fatbergs are large alien communities”
When left unchecked, these communities have grown so large, they’ve been found blocking the sewerage systems in affluent districts such as Chelsea, west London. Fairly recently, one of these fatberg-communities, was estimated to weigh in at over ten tons. It’s reported, in order to break up this newly evolved community, tools, such as spades and high pressure water jets have been utilised. Much of the fatberg breaking up and splashing back into the faces of vomiting council workers. Latest reports indicate many of the alien life forms are now evenly distributed throughout the English Channel. Crisis averted.
We must now ask: will the Mulligatawny ever make it? It would seem the only negative outcome – from the alien invasion of 1789 – has been the near demise of this much maligned and misunderstood animal.
Small, with very short red hair, the Mulligatawny, when cooked, is said to have a fairly mild flavour to begin with, building to quite a spicy kick, with a strong bitter aftertaste. The natives, who originally trapped the animal, are said to have left it to ‘cure’ for so long, that when a soup was made of the meat, the maggots would have been included. All adding to the power and nutritional value of this unusual recipe.
“It’s little understood why or where the belief originated that eating Mulligatawny helps fight off alien invaders”
It remains to say, no matter the privilege, money or favour, there’s no escaping the realities of life: The Mulligatawny is endangered and alien invaders – for the time being at least – are easily defeated. It’s also worth pointing out, no matter what you believe, the world will keep spinning, micro drones will keep flying, and rubber ducks will stay floating. Remember: Retain a sense of perspective, and keep a good measure of humour – in all aspects of life – no matter the news.
“At the time of writing the Harry Potter books, if JK Rowling had thought her reality, better than fiction, she’d never have put pen to paper”
Rowling’s reality, at the time of writing Harry Potter, was, as we’re led to believe, horrible. As she put it herself: “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”
We all, from time to time, feel the need to escape into a fictional world. It’s unfortunate we can’t all be like Rowling, and make a fortune from the fictional worlds we create, yet the escape we find, can be a useful rest from a horrible reality. At least for a while that is.
“It’s important to be aware of the methods we use to escape reality. You might think it’s only when we’re daydreaming or reading a book. It is not. We humans have developed many means of escape”
The problem with fiction, is we do eventually need to sober up and drag ourselves back, from that comfortable place. We can’t fully function in the real world if we don’t. Returning from fiction, can be a difficult transition though, especially if we’re addicted to its powerful allure.
This said, there are those individuals, who seem able to spend their entire lives dressing as fairies, talking childish nonsense and generally behaving, as if the world was some kind of magical wonderland. In fiction it is. When we’re under the influence it is. In reality, the world, whether we like it or not, is anything but.
On a personal level, I struggle to see the benefit of maintaining a fictional reality, when there are so many truly, meaningful things, that can be done in the real world today.
Yes, by all means write fiction for children – they need it to stimulate their imaginative minds – however, for the adults, our reality must be seen for what it is. Once we do this we desire improvement. We see the world for what it truly is.
“Now, there are those of you who say: the world is beautiful. I would agree. What isn’t so beautiful though, is how we’re treating it, and each other”
Harry Potter isn’t going to stop wars, prevent psychopaths becoming world leaders, or use his magic wand to clean up the oceans anytime soon. In the direct sense neither am I, yet it may well be, that somewhere along the line, others also wake to the true realities of the world, and begin to care. The domino effect dictates this. The connectedness of everything dictates this. It just needs to start somewhere.
Once empowered by love we become courageous. When we’re courageous, we stop escaping into fictional worlds. When strong we begin to see, if we remain in an imaginary world, created through denial and ignorance, we have no chance of improvement whatsoever. Wake and see what’s really going on.
Let’s grow and make our reality better than fiction. Contact us.