“It stands to reason, one persons version of what a beautiful life is, will differ to another. Even though this is the case, when it comes to the majority view, we do see a common theme”
This theme is the meta-system of established beliefs pertaining to creating a beautiful life. It follows that if we have all the components, that form this meta-system of beliefs, we will be happy, complete and living the dream, so to speak.
The question that arises, for the likes of those engaged in Personal Development, is this: What if that meta-system is something we don’t want to follow? What if we prefer to question the norms society dictates?
Does this list constitute a beautiful life?
- Find the person of our dreams
- Get married
- Buy a house
- Start a family
- Work a nine to five
- Raise a family
We must bear in mind, the type of list above, will always have a potential sublist of problems or pitfalls. For example how many marriages are strong enough to go the distance needed to raise a happy family? How many of us will find and maintain sufficient job security to support a mortgage? How many of us get to actually enjoy a healthy old age we’ve saved for all our lives? We could go on, and of course no matter the kind of life we choose, there will always be a sublist of problems we’re likely to face along the way. It’s just the nature of things.
“The point is, what we find ourselves striving for, in terms of finding happiness and beauty in life, really does come down to what we choose to believe”
Within our definition, of what Personal Development is, we state: “Knowing ourselves better, becoming more informed of our drivings, creates the advantage of removing conflict.”
This unconscious/conscious conflict could have been created through the model of what society teaches us – about finding beautiful lives – having not fitted with our experience of it. In other words, our childhood experiences – that have now become the unconscious model to aim for – didn’t fit the conscious societal model listed above. We have a conflict, between what the individual believes, and that of society as a whole.
“If we want to understand conflict and confusion better, take a moment to consider the propaganda presented by the media – concerning happy families – and compare that to the reality”
Those around us may have tried to fit the pattern but failed spectacularly. The millions of children raised by single parents, without sufficiently effective role-models to follow, stands testament to this failing.
“The model society teaches doesn’t work for all, and especially doesn’t work, when pursued by those who’re ill equipped to find it”
Taking a breath, in order to recap now, it becomes easier to understand. If what we experienced during childhood was a poor imitation of the ideal – of what society believes constitutes a beautiful life – then we will be ill equipped to follow it. We will attempt to follow it, only to find unhappiness, conflict and stress. All this unhappiness and stress is due to our attempts to follow an ideal that doesn’t exist in our unconscious mind. In one form or another we will end up repeating the mess our parents made of things. Unless:
“What if we changed the list and learned that a beautiful life is something entirely different?”
A Beautiful Life is gained through:
- Living in the moment
- Never being tied by guilt, duty or expectations
- Having full control of your mind
- Understanding emotional maturity
- Understanding love is the empowerment to be free
- Wanting only what we need
- Knowing our unconscious drivings
- Knowing our limiting, instinctive drivings
- Knowing how to tame these limiting drivings
- A mind devoid of the belief in guilt
- Being surrounded by people who wish you freedom
- Developing creativity
- Developing spontaneity
- Knowing how to be self-assured
- Understanding the true value of life
- Feeling safe with alone through understanding it’s what we are
- Understanding how we and others look to take people’s power, through our fear of finding and accepting, our aloneness
- Acceptance of what we are: something different to the norm