“If everyone spent time in solitude the human condition wouldn’t be quite what it is”
It’s a human psychological weakness; looking to avoid solitude. So is the tendency for us to overtly or covertly seek the approval and attention of others. The ego dislikes time alone for this very reason; when alone, it might initially seem like there’s no opportunity for attention, or approval.
The job of the ego is self-reinforcement. That’s to say, everything the ego does, is a means of asserting what it knows. When we’re alone, the ego becomes vulnerable; open to doubt and questioning. Many people have talked about the discomfort they’ve felt during extended periods of solitude. After spending a night in a tent, alone, in the middle of nowhere, the famous comedian Billy Connolly once said: “You certainly have to deal with your demons on a night like that.”
“And so, solitude is a challenge for the best of us, however, once we understand the benefits – no matter the discomfort – this may give use the courage to conquer”
Breaking the spell, of uncontrollably craving the company, attention and approval of others, helps us overcome some fundamental weaknesses. When we know how to be alone, it puts us in a very, powerful position. There is a vast difference between those who seek power, in order to feel less alone, and those who have power through their ability to be there.
Consider how some world leaders behave. Their lust for power is driven by many things, at the root of this driving, is the unconscious longing for recognition and attention. This was something potentially missing during their childhood development, and so seeking it in adulthood, is simply a symptom of lack.
Alternatively, if we look at the likes of Obama, Kennedy, Thatcher, Mandela or Gandhi – to name just a few – we see a difference. I believe good leaders are made when there’s a genuine love of the people, rather than lack, within themselves. When we seek to control and dominate, this is driven by lack. When we love there’s a need to share this; setting others free. Love shares, fear takes.
When we understand how solitude helps us to gain control over our fragile egos, we move to gaining better control, over our instinctive drivings. Better control, over these drivings, increases our freedom. Being this free does in turn demand we better develop our imaginations. Think of all the free time we’d have! Once we have developed imaginations, and better control over our selves – through finding solitude – the world truly becomes our oyster.
A truly successful mind is one that appreciates the aloneness of the human condition. No matter how hard we try, if we didn’t receive the love and attention required during our developmental years, seeking this as adults, creates many a disappointment. The time for that. Has. Now. Gone.
Appreciation, of the power being alone can bring, will only come once we know solitude. The world is full of people seeking what they craved as children, only to find no satisfaction; whatever the methods employed.
Those who’re able to sit in solitude, with only their thoughts for comfort, will always have greater power, even than those lacking world leaders. It’s this power, of being able to take control of the self, that can change your world. Learn to appreciate A Beautiful Solitude. Give your self the attention it requires. Give your self the approval it requires. There’s really no one else able to do this for you, now you’re fully grown.