Toughen up Girls! Learn how to defend yourselves (men and media savvy)


“We know the media pick extreme examples, and yet we can also know, that this doesn’t mean the examples they pick, are false, just blown out of proportion.”

In a way they’re making fools out of us all. Take for example the recent story of the journalist who went out for a meal with an MP only to be appalled at his later advances. As he “lunged at her” she remembered shrinking away from him feeling very frightened; finding herself running away. She didn’t know how to properly defend herself.

The question, the journalist who was interviewing her actively avoided asking, was the most obvious question of all, that must have been coming into the minds of all those watching: “why did you go out for a meal with him in the first place?”

It seems that naivety is being turned into sexual harassment. There was – on this occasion – some balance in that another journalist highlighted how an MP, she’d also gone out for a meal with, had kept placing his hand on her knee during their lunch. He didn’t remove it until she threatened to punch him. She also added that the whole experience hadn’t upset her.

There we see the clear difference between someone who is street smart and someone who is naive. Accusations of sexual harassment ruin peoples lives and must be thought out carefully. In other words, questions like: Was I naive in my assessment of the situation? What was my role in the whole affair? Am I lacking empathy? Was he/she lacking empathy and simply misreading the situation? Could I make my intentions clearer?

“Above all it’s important for us to recognise potential failings in communication skills, unconscious and conscious, and also how the media like to make the world seem like a dangerous and bad place, simply through their extreme examples.”

There is no such thing as a weaker sex, stop being victims.

When we properly develop the skills, that come with our particular gender, this helps us deal with our fear. The belief, that there’s a weaker sex, is just that: a belief.

It’s worth pondering on this slide

girl power
Learn the game, learn how to defend yourself

In Response

Believe in your higher-self
Believe in your higher-self

Higher-self. In Response to:

All very interesting. I personally feel Benatar is potentially a little ‘too’ emotionally involved with his essay – you really wouldn’t want to read it when feeling a little down now, would you?

He is of course talking “round-shouldered and unbacked” (to quote my late ex-father in law – a man who believed he had all the answers by spending his entire life either working or getting pissed – a common solution, yes?).

So come on, we all know life is full of suffering and pain, however, that, is actually the whole point. Without all the pain and suffering there’d be no driving for us to evolve into the AI’s that will eventually rule the galaxy! Ha ha!

When it comes to procreation, and the anti-natalism view point, we must face it, most babies are made by mistake; we humans just like sex so much; it is one of the things that offsets some of the horrors in the world; now there’s a paradox!

I think Mondays should be Science Fiction day – spread a little happiness, oh, and let’s not forget the brilliance of us humans, we did invent all the games, the best being the game of LOVE (a useful tool to offset all the shit in life). An interesting half hour Thank You א

The Currency of Love

“Of late, once again, I find myself stuck with negative feelings relating to my fellow man. At times it seems so hard to be positive and understanding of others.”

It’s when I feel this way that I know there needs to be some kind of internal change. My cynicism and revulsion perhaps has value in terms of me distancing myself from certain people, the only problem being, I tend to distance myself from everyone.

It’s the horrible generalisation – that all humans are egotistical takers – that’s damaging. Perhaps it’s when we have low self-esteem, and potentially slight depression, that we have such negative opinions of others, perhaps, in fact, we have a downer on ourselves.

Along with negative opinions we must be cautious of the current culture of over-analysing ourselves and others. We seem to be over thinking and over questioning our behaviours. From gender neutral child-rearing (the abuse of experimenting with another person’s life) to the size of our carbon footprint, we all seem to be getting a little bogged down with the detail.

“They say the devil is in the detail. Is it really? Confusion, over-thinking and over-analysis are only adding to our current distress.”

There can be no harm in just taking a step back and taking the time to understand the damage inflicted when our ego’s are out of control. The human will and the human ego are the reasons for so much beauty and also so much ugliness in the world. All we need do, is understand the simple roots, to so many of our problems, and we take out the confusion.

For example, there can be no harm in extracting good, tried and tested methods of child-rearing. Believe it or not mothers and fathers of the past did do some things right. Family units, where children felt secure, due to strong and powerful structure and effective boundaries, are not something we should question as being restrictive.

Building beautiful families (and indeed relationships – the root of a strong family) does in fact take a lot of effort. Is it the use of this effort and energy that so many of us are potentially looking to avoid? If it is, and we don’t want to devote ourselves to investing the necessary energy into building strong families, perhaps we should consider not having them at all.

“All we need is the ability to make this kind of decision by escaping our instinctive programming. There are other things we can do.”

Those of us who come from strong loving families tend to create the same in return. Those who come from strong loving families see the value in them. If we don’t know the value of creating strong relationships and families, we must either learn this, so as to give our children a powerful head-start in life, or simply give up on the idea.

Just never assume you’ll create a loving family if you’ve never experienced one. So if you go it alone, no harm done, enjoy your life and all that. You have permission to be free for God’s sake!

“Whether we like it or not, human children, with their developing ego and willpower, do need the kind of boundaries and structure we might find difficult to enforce.”

As parents we might find enforcing rules difficult through fear of falling out of our children’s favour. It’s a fallacy to think our children need to be our friends though. Enforcing structure and boundaries may at times feel uncomfortable, yet be rest assured, our children will feel more secure and loved as the result. In the long-term, we will reap the rewards – in society as a whole – when we once again embrace and understand the need for structure and boundaries when raising our children.

On recently reading the statistics, for the amount of young children referred to doctors for gender related issues, a little tremor of fear spread through my body: literally the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Children’s minds are simply not developed enough to be left to themselves to decide what sex they want to be. Nature is easily relied upon when we are unsure as parents: if your child has a penis it’s a boy, and if the alternative of a vagina, it’s a girl. Simple. We socialise our children as boys and girls to create a type of balanced structure within society.

“When we project our dislike, or biased opinions and beliefs of what it is to be a man or a woman, we mold our children into being what they become: a reflection of those same beliefs and biased opinions no matter what genitals they’re born with.”

Uncertainty and confusion comes with growing up, it’s up to us, as parents, to help our children remove confusion and uncertainty – and not through a surgeon’s knife and injected hormones – but through love of ourselves and the opposite sex. Things are becoming so horribly complicated.

This brings me onto the recent stories surrounding sexual harassment. If, as a woman, you were raised with the belief and expectation that you’re simply an object of man’s desire, and its then up to you to manipulate and use this desire, you are then complicit in any kind of abuse. If you’re frightened of not getting that next promotion or acting role (same distinction) and so sleep with the director through this fear, you are then complicit.

“On the other hand, if your mother taught you that you’re a free individual, who will naturally be desired by men – and yet gave you the knowledge of how to use this in a constructive, not submissive or negative way – then you’re simply playing the game of life.”

When playing the game, to the extent you open your legs, more fool you. A good slap to the face of any potential abuser will do more to gain respect, all you need, in this instance, is less fear and a little more courage. Good, loving and strong mothers, instill this into the minds of our daughters.

The currency of love is the most valuable of all. This currency equips our children with the tools that enable them to push aside their ego and allow their will to prevail. In other words, the next acting role or job, is something to be gained due to high self-esteem and a powerful will, awarded through love in childhood. Our ego can be blind to the damage we can cause ourselves through striving for greatness.

“We love our children through setting strong boundaries and effective structure so they may flourish in their adult lives.”

Yes add colour to their lives by allowing them to be children, yet the black and white, of yes or no, rather than maybe, is equally as important. The currency of love has far greater value than we realise, all we need do, is understand how to implement it.

So much rebellion, so many fighting what they see as conformity. Love can never be allowing our children to run riot. Love can never be allowing our children to try and raise themselves. Children must have the security of structure and boundaries so they may grow into adults that contribute to a society that considers the needs of all. Remaining as rebellious children and then having children of our own is perpetuating confusion and disorder.

Front cover

Some might say that none of this matters. They may well be right and yet those of us who remember (instead of choosing to forget) the pain and fear, that comes with insecurity, loneliness and the disorder broken families create, think that it does matter. It matters a lot. It matters to our children. A person is free to choose who they are and what they want in life provided they are free of confusion. We constantly witness the troubled lives of adults with childhoods devoid of structure, love, boundaries and the effective guidance from powerful role models. It starts with you.

Believe in Your Higher-Self

To begin to understand the concept of a higher-self we will need to make some presuppositions.

1, We must make the presupposition that our higher-self responds to our unconscious intentions.

2, We must make the presupposition that our higher-self responds unquestioningly, to all loving intentions, whatever they might be.

3, Love is the force acting on your higher-self.

To help explain, let’s take the example of accidents. Let’s say there’s a part of you – not fully acknowledged – that want’s to make some kind of change. Because this need for change isn’t acknowledged, on a conscious level, it becomes the job of your higher-self to fulfil it.

“From wanting a new phone (even though you can’t afford one) to changing your lifestyle (even though you consciously can’t see an escape) your higher-self will look to assist you.”

Let’s imagine you have a job you dislike. On your way to work you have an accident. Some time later, propped up at home with your leg in plaster, hindsight begins to do its work. You begin to ponder on why you recklessly rode your pushbike up the inside left of the lorry, that knocked you off, when you knew the dangers.

Let’s imagine you’ve now dropped your phone, for the sixth time, and the screen has finally smashed. Once again hindsight is doing its work as you wonder, in your annoyed state, why a part of your mind seemed to refuse to put the damned thing somewhere safe.

Both gentle examples yet when we understand that we’re at least fifty percent responsible, for everything that happens to us, we’re getting closer to understanding the actions, of our higher-self.

Even though we may not be in a position to take the time off work, it would take for a broken leg to fix and find a new job, and even though we can’t afford a new phone, our higher-self is unable to question or consider this kind of logical reasoning, especially when it’s fear based.

“All your higher-self will do is seek to fulfil desires that confirm a love of you. Yes a new phone says “I love you” and yes, a new job or lifestyle, also says “I love you” as such, your higher-self will help, in whatever manner, it sees fit.”

To add to this, how interesting is it to consider this reality: we always survive? In fact, how often is it the case, that once over the initial difficulties we may face from unfortunate events and accidents, our situation is improved upon?

The gain, from understanding all of this, is how we can build a sense of calm contentment, by simply accepting: no matter how we may wish to be in a position of control, we will never be, if fear is the controlling force.

Your higher-self will always, always look to countermand any fear based sticking points, and it will do this by whatever method it sees fit. When we believe in this, a calm acceptance of the unpredictable and uncontrollable nature of life, becomes our natural nature.    

Love is the force acting on your higher-self



The Inner Sadness of Hysteria (blade runners and humanity killers)

“Okay so we can understand these actors aren’t able to tell us much about their new film, however, to turn this interview into such a farce is beyond a joke. I personally find it’s hysteria quite hard to watch.”

I wonder if ‘Our Ford’ (see Huxley’s Brave New World) realises the position of power he’s in. The vulnerable and the young are very impressionable and very open to suggestion, so to see their ‘hero’ drinking whiskey, exhibiting hysteria can never be a good thing. Whether we like it or not, alcohol, is one of the biggest problems humanity faces at this time.

It’s not until people such as Ford and Gosling take proper responsibility and show the world the damage of drink (it’s very doubtful they actually drink themselves, you’ll notice in the clip it’s pretence) will we free ourselves of this scourge. You might say: “Oh come on, there’s nothing wrong with a drink now and again” and I would agree. Not everyone has a problem with drink, I’m talking about the young, and the vulnerable.

When we think of it, many industries take advantage of our weaknesses; they actively exploit our weaknesses and make millions, if not billions, at our expense. Take chocolate as further example, I find the stuff they put in this product horribly addictive, and I know that if I eat too much of it, I’ll get fat. Once the weight is on I then find the vigorous exercise, I believe to be lengthening my life, a gruelling experience. It would seem, if self-discipline isn’t taught by those raising us, life will prove to be one uncomfortable challenge after another.

“Coming back to the clip, we must ask: why did the people in this interview lapse into hysteria. There must be some level of fear, and indeed some level of sadness that hysteria is combating; avoidance and distraction from something else perhaps.”

This leads me on to the actual film Blade Runner, not the new one, but the original. In this work (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep) Philip K. Dick is exploring (as Ford rightfully points out) the human spirit. He’s asking: is it possible for a ‘replicant’ to be equal or superior to a human? He’s asking: do any of us know if we’re replicants or not? He’s also pointing out the level of fear involved with the idea of AI’s. In his book there are Blade Runners, whose job it is to seek out ‘wayward’ replicants, and ‘retire’ them. The fact they have an inbuilt cut off point, or life span, does make the whole Blade Runner thing a bit obsolete, however, take that out, and we have no book or subsequent film.

As touched on by Philip K. Dick, in order for any of us to feel any kind of identity, we must have memories. From these memories we form beliefs, and it’s these beliefs, that make us what we are. In addition to beliefs, we must be taught the whys and wherefores of life: The dangers in life, the necessities of self-discipline, the importance of empathy etc, etc, etc. Without these lessons we become vulnerable and potentially self-destructive, when we think of it, even a self-aware AI, will need identity and understandings of the dangers of excess. If, for example, a robot of the future were given some kind of pleasure reward, when charging itself sitting in the sun, without the addition of the necessary programming of self-discipline, would it ever get up and do anything?

“In the original Blade Runner film we’re led to believe that Dr Eldon Tyrell’s replicants are “more human than human.” I see no reason why we shouldn’t look to be this ourselves.”


In order to gain this we must be prepared to examine the aspects of human nature that we’d rather not. Why do Ford and Gosling feel the need to overpower their interviewer Alison Hammond in such a way? Do they fear her? Do they need to belittle her to seem powerful? Perhaps, and on a more positive note, they’re simply empathising with her fear and trying to help alleviate it.

In terms of exploitation, do Ford and Gosling just want us to watch their film, without telling us anything meaningful about it? Is it the case that the new film simply has nothing to add to the old one? In which case, exploitation of the dead, goes on. Just as poor parenting and the drinks industry are allowed to continue deadening the human spirit.

Passion and Gentle Meanderings


“I think of time as being a little like money. We spend time and we spend money, and I realise, if we stop thinking about either one, we can lose track of them.”

Thinking and obsessing are two different things. If we obsess about either time or money we can end up using them inefficiently. If we worry about running out of time or worry about running out of money, potentially, this causes us to stop using them wisely. Like the wealthy landlord I see visiting charity shops, we might become miserly, or we might run around like headless chickens, thinking this will help us make the most of what we have. Both are wasteful. Ponder.

Examining time more closely, or what we focus on within our time to be more specific, helps us understand how the process of focusing on one goal, can have the effect of improving others we’ve become less conscious of.

For example, if your attention were focused on fixing up a house, it’s possible, this could help other aspects of your life run smoother; those things that are better run on autopilot. Things, that if constantly attended to on a conscious level, would actually fall apart. Letting go a little, often helps, rather than hinders.

Consider the lives of people who have passion. Passion that takes up much of their time and money. Does this passion improve their lives? Of course there is a fine line; some people have passions that are so all consuming, their home lives suffer as a result. So there must be balance.

The same goes with money. I considered how it might feel to win over one hundred million on the lottery. And I realised I really wouldn’t want the responsibility. It would remove so much of the challenge of life, to such an extent, that it may end up not being worth living at all. It may well end up ruining my life, as it would, and has, for so many others.

Too much time and/or too much money are likely to create more problems than they solve. If you were going to live forever, with all the money you could ever possibly spend, what would you do? You’d certainly need a passion, but then of course, you wouldn’t consider time or money as particularly important, would you? You wouldn’t if that passion were a wholesome one.

With this in mind, it’s important to remember: Once you’ve fixed up your house, you’ll then need to find a new one. Having said this, some houses, especially the older ones, do need constant love and attention.

Do you understand?


Evolving into AI Reaching the Stars (inspired by the genius of the late Iain M. Banks)

I find it such a strange thing when I see and hear the worry that surrounds AI. It’s my belief that we must actively encourage the development of AI if we’re to survive. If we want to survive long enough, so that we may reach for the stars, we must become superior to our present biological form.

“Human biological lifeform is unsuitable to space.”

I believe we will never develop the means to adapt our bodies to the rigours of outer space. There are so many difficulties to overcome, for our bodies to cope with this, that they are quite simply insurmountable. For long distance space travel to become a reality, our current thinking, is way off track.

“Our current thinking is far too self-centered.”

It would seem that our long term intention is to put humans on other planets, and we’re prepared to spend vast amounts of time and energy, attempting it. We’re developing the propulsion and the means to travel, yet missing the one important proviso already mentioned: Humans will never be suited to long term exposure to space.

If we gave up our current self-centered thinking, and instead focused on developing the AI technology that can travel the huge distances involved, (the only things a robot needs to function well is clever programming and starlight) we might just make it.

“If we get it right our AI robots will be able to raise biological life forms on planets suited for such life.”

If we get it right, robots will monitor frozen embryos (that can stay this way for thousands of years) on spaceships travelling the vast distances between the stars. Once arrived at our destination, these same clever AI robots, will raise our biological selves.

“Robots, able to think for themselves, will always have a root program controlling this ‘self,’ that we’ll be responsible for writing.”

If we get it right, our robots will even reach the stage of being able to terraform other planets, before we arrive as frozen embryos. The key to the success of this kind of plan is in the programming. What we program our AI robots with is the issue.

If the root program, of a self-aware robot, is what we currently believe about love and life, they will most certainly end up self-destructing. If the programming is flawed, our beautiful new AI, will evolve in the same direction we’re currently heading: Extinction.

“So the key, is to ensure the root programming, is correct. In this way we will have AI robots that will never be the threat – that even the likes of Stephen Hawking – believe them to be.”

We need to get it right first. When we truly acknowledge that the most important ingredient, is a correct and proper understanding of love and life, only then, will we create AI, that will not only ensure our future survival, but long for it.