In a post entitled Ahhhhhhh… got me again! One of our members enlightened us to someone who enjoyed humiliating men. We’re glad to report that he hasn’t yet murdered her, however, if he’s allowed to stew much longer, we fear the worst. So with this in mind, we’re going to help him understand the, ‘for some strange reason’ of his predicament a little better.
We all have hotspots. That is to say, we all have some unresolved issues, buried deep within us, that others inadvertently tap into from time to time. If you haven’t yet read the post in question, then please do, and we’ll see you on your return.
Okay, welcome back. Now, as our member mentioned, he fully realises the issues Jilly potentially carries around with her, to include: loneliness, lack of confidence, love and a tendency to get off on humiliating people. A defence mechanism (or means to get people to reject her) no doubt taught her by the adults around her during childhood. What our member must also realise (to stave of the desire for murder) is that during his childhood he will of also witnessed those around him experiencing humiliation.
Perhaps mother humiliated father, or the other way round, and he, as a sensitive child, also felt this. Perhaps this humiliation went further and he also experienced it from his peers. Unable to defend himself, as a child, whenever similar feelings are aroused within him, as an adult, anger is the result (outward expression of fear). It would seem the inability to defend himself against humiliation is still prevalent, resulting in, (dramatic drum roll please) murder in mind. It has been known for passive-aggressive people to resort to murder when their ‘kettle-boils-over,’ so to speak. Oh we hope we’ve saved you Jilly, you poor, lonely lass.
Finding hotspots, through the annoying traits of loveless people, can be a bit of a double edged sword; an empowerment conflict. We want to hate them, and we even harbour murderous thoughts, yet the fact remains, they’ve taught us something very useful and empowering about ourselves. They’ve raised to the surface some unresolved issue from our childhood, and once we’ve dealt with this, there can only be healthy repercussions.
Healthy, because the more we know about ourselves, the more we’re able to find calm peace of mind. Peace of mind can only be found when we’re one with ourselves; when we’re whole. So, Dear Mr Angry member, Jilly is a blessing to you my friend, so please don’t kill her.
When it comes to issues of unresolved guilt – and because we’re in a generous mood today – the conflict here is, that fully understanding the negative destructiveness of guilt, actually leaves us feeling a little frightened.
Frightened, because to suggest repressed guilt, increases our chances of becoming ill prematurely, and further suggests we have no choice. The reality is the opposite. If we were to give you examples of how guilt has led to cancer you would refuse to believe us (yet be assured there are many), so we’re not going to do that. What we will do though, is help you understand this: when we take responsibility for how we create our own disease – through repressing our guilt – we actually empower ourselves through increased choice.
“The guilt is the root – and the unhealthy lifestyle – the mechanism by which we’re shortening our lives.”
Even though this is the case, we could also give you examples of people who’ve died through repressing guilt, who actually led reasonably healthy lives. We’ll give you just one example to ponder on. You may remember this person: Jade Goody. Think about how long it took for her to die after the world taught her to feel guilty about her racism, bigotry and ignorance; racism and bigotry she will have been taught in childhood from those around her. If our parents were racist, there is a strong likelihood that on some level, we will be too. Many cancers are rooted in our childhood experiences, and to face this as fact, can be a very frightening reality.
“Therefore it’s much easier for us to see cancer as something that is beyond our control, with its roots lying anywhere other, than within our own bodyminds.”
The current trend for researchers, geneticists and scientists to seek the cure for cancers – and many other diseases for that matter – as being rooted in understanding and changing our genes, is in fact correct, but only when we also see our genes, as something inherited through the bodymind link, and our life-experiences.
Those around us always hold the key to understanding ourselves better. Humans really do need each other, and the more annoying, the better. So get out there!