When We Turn to Love


When we turn to love we must know exactly what it is we’re in fact turning to. We must have expectations that match the reality. We must understand how to fully utilise its power.

“It’s a little like running a poorly tuned engine, if we don’t know what to listen for and how to feel, how can we expect love to empower us?”  

Engine of Love Understanding

There’s a moment of clarity, some of us experience many times during our lives, and others only once. If you’re very unlucky it could be that you’ll never have this experience. In this case you’d be very poor indeed.

All it takes is a moment of quiet contemplation, to gently consider what you believe about love, and what you expect of it. When these beliefs and expectations are confused and conflicting, this often has the effect of completely neutralising, its power.

Understand Love

We often have very high expectations of love, and yet these expectations, are often misguided. Yes, it’s powerful, yet only if its fully understood, in fact, when fully understood, its power is fully realised. We think that love will give us power over others (“if he loves me he will”). We think that it’s some kind of magical force that makes everything alright, without any kind of intervention, from us. When we’re young we mistake infatuation and lust for love.

“Love is when we act through its power.”

Never mistake love for kindness, compassion, sympathy or care, love is a force that makes the brave dare. When we turn to love we’re making a decision to believe some very exact notions. We’re dismissing the childlike understandings that it’s in some way responsible for us. It’s our responsibility to find it.

When our carers loved us, when we were young, they’d found the love for a child. We’d found it through dependence. Once we’re grown, that love through dependence, is transformed into an appreciative one, we’re then able to share, with all our fellow man.

This is not to say we must care for our fellow man; what love states is we must find ways to empower them. For example, our fellow man who is homeless and hungry, can lift himself up, when we’re able to love him correctly. When we teach each other the power of contentment, rather than seeing injustice and inequality all around, anger is transformed.

Understand the Troubled Mind

The greatest gift, we can instill in the troubled mind, is the knowledge of love

It’s not enough to simply say: “You must love yourself my friend.” The only way is to demonstrate this through example. If your friend chooses to stay in the gutter, is it for you to physically lift him up? Or is it more powerful to show him how to understand?

When we remove the martyrdom, self-pity and sense of entitlement, from those in the gutter, we free them to find love through giving. You might say: “What has the man in the gutter got left to give?” And I will answer you by saying: ‘Even when he thinks all is lost, he could choose to live his life by example, and this is plenty enough to give. Picking himself up and living by showing good example is how he will find love.’

You now might ask: “How do we remove the self-pity and sense of entitlement from his mind?” And I will answer you by saying: ‘Remove it from your own.’

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