There’s Lumps of Instant Coffee in My Sugar

There's Lumps of Instant Coffee in My Sugar

“I prise open the lid, look within the tin, and find those annoying little lumps of instant coffee amongst the sugar.”

Really, why do I find that this is the only thing to upset me this morning? It didn’t seem to matter that I was shouted at: told to f**ck off, by an angry paperboy, or that the store manager behaves like an excited child on happy pills.

I often wonder what the customers think, what with this strange woman charging around the shop, muttering to herself, and on occasion shouting complete nonsense to anyone who has the courage to step through the door. It gives me a headache. Or should I say, my need for calm in the face of her insanity, does.

It’s not the only thing that gives me a headache; it’s coming of caffeine that’s giving me the real headache. How my brain longs for its stimulation, but I’m determined to clean up my act, no matter how much it hurts. Perhaps we should all be named Bear Payne, what d’ya think?

You see, long term, there will be a payoff for freeing myself of all my addictions. The coffee industry has us by the balls, or your short and curly’s, you know. If you’re seeking justification to the health benefits to coffee, you’d not need to look far, or alternatively, if you’d like to understand the negatives of caffeine you can do this too. It really does depend on your standpoint you see.

“Although, when we want to really explore beliefs, we come to understand how a belief, or indeed a whole system of beliefs, can be created purely for the purpose of commerce, and possibly to the detriment of its customers. Do you actually know the truth about coffee? Does anyone? Just one example you understand.”

And so drinking Green Tea (useful for gently reducing your caffeine dosage) with a little ginger, or sipping peppermint tea before bed, or lemon with ginger, or perhaps just water, can give you a cleaner outlook on life. And here’s a cleaner way to find real and true stimulation: go for a ride or a run or just a fast walk, will do.

As for being surrounded by madness, and angry paperboys too? Well… just get the lumps of instant coffee out of the sugar will ya, and I’ll be feeling right as rain. The coffee in the sugar… it’s personal you see. I wanted a little sugar in my Green Tea, only to find it infested with little lumps: they look like mouse droppings to me.

White or Brown
Just a little sugar please

“There’s no anger within me and no madness either, at least not of the dangerous kind, that scares the customers away.”

And so the rest of the world can do what it needs, just as long as it’s not personal. When the problems of others trouble us, it’s only because we’re seeing a nasty reflection of what’s buried within.


Question the motives of those around you, be surprised to learn, their motives may actually be bad for you. And let’s face it, who needs the sulphur dioxide bleached sugar? I think I can do without that too.