Chaos and Love

“It makes you wonder really: why would a terrorist, who sees the outpouring of love after one of his ‘comrades’ atrocities go on to cause further bloodshed?”

Surely, if immediately following an act of terror – and the media chose to only show this outpouring of love – would it not be sensible to have a rethink? If the ultimate outcome is seen to be love, compassion and courage, what is the point of the terrorist? Is it not division and hatred the terrorists want?


Of course what the terrorist relies on is the rage, anger and division that isn’t always so prevalent in the immediate aftermath of a terrorist atrocity. Let’s say the terrorist is an islamic fundamentalist who believes he’s fighting for the rights of muslims. Is he, in actual fact, doing this?

“What we’re led to believe, here in the west, is that terrorism has very little to do with muslims and everything to do with extremism.”

Perhaps those who tell us this are correct. However, if we pause for a moment, we will see islamic state (so called) do in fact have everything to do with the muslim religion and the oppressive nature of religion generally.

Is it not the case that terrorism is more about the control and oppression of muslims, than the terrorising of westerners, and their seeming Godless lack of ideals? Is it not the case that fundamentalist despise the assimilation of their ‘brothers and sisters’ into the more relaxed western lifestyle. We could ask ourselves: Is there currently an overt or covert rejection of religious people by the white middle classes? Look and you’ll see it all to clearly.

The alienation of muslims, and religious people in general, may well be the ultimate unintended outcome of terrorism. And if this is the case – although a very painful process of instigating the death of religion – there is a payoff that is often unseen by the terrorist: love, compassion and togetherness from those affected, that is completely devoid of any religious influence. It’s teaching us the completely unnecessary nature of religion in 2017. No one needs religion to know how to love.

“For us all to do the right and proper thing, we must question the usefulness of any ideology and belief system that oppresses human beings, in any form.”

Archaic, limiting thinking, is maintained when we continue to fervently support and follow beliefs, that were formed in underdeveloped times. The year is 2017, so much of what we believed, in all the years prior to this date, is now obsolete.

Times are a changing and wouldn’t it be lovely to bring more of us on? If you need to believe in a God, believe in the nature of the universe, and call this your God. Hold on to the past and it will drag you down like quicksand. The past is gone, the future is only imagined. Living now, as an individual who believes love is empowerment; filtering your actions, behaviour and thoughts, through the bias of love, is the way forward, now. We are finding love from the chaos.

Loved, Admired and Respected

Why? Why would you want to look at something you don’t consider broken? You might ask: “What’s the point?”

We can draw a comparison by talking for a moment about the ill fated Challenger Shuttle mission of 1986. Imagine what would have happened if NASA scientists had fitted three O-ring joint seals (instead of two) to its solid rocket boosters. Imagine if these seals had also been tested to withstand unusually low temperatures. What do you imagine would have happened?


Yes, that’s exactly right, nothing would have happened, except a safe and successful flight. The 5 astronauts and 2 payload specialists on board would have potentially lived much longer lives.

Of course it’s always easy to criticise and see our mistakes using the power of hindsight, yet this doesn’t mean that we necessarily need hindsight, or accidents for that matter, to see the flaws before the event.

Consider Air France flight 447 of 2009. After the recovery of the black box recorders, some two years later, it was understood that the cause of the crash, and subsequent death of over 200 people, was pilot error. The pilots went into a confused state and simply didn’t know why their aircraft’s autopilot had disengaged and why there flight adjustments had caused the aircraft to go into a fatal stall.


Once again hindsight has taught us a lesson and pilots must now be  trained to deal effectively with the situation, should the same set of circumstances, that befell the pilots of flight 447, ever happen again. However we can still ask: how is it they weren’t trained to deal effectively with the confusion created, through the failure, or shutting down, of the aircraft’s autopilot to begin with? We now know it was relying too heavily, on the aircraft’s autopilot computer, that ultimately caused the disaster.

We too have an autopilot system. Without the autopilot, of our unconscious minds, life would be very challenging indeed. If every time we jumped into our cars, and it felt like the first time we ever had, we’d never go anywhere. Once we have unconscious competence our driving becomes an effortless flow, but switching off conscious control of our cars, is when we have accidents.

Our unconscious can only do so much and self preservation is not within the remit of this part of our minds. It’s a little like the computer that controls the autopilot of our aircraft: it simply does what it’s been programmed to do, and is unable to stray from this, until instructed to do so. In other words, if we leave all aspects of the driving to our unconscious, there’s a high likelihood we’re going to crash and burn.

“Conscious control over our lives means we have less accidents and smoother journeys.”

And so if follows: leaving certain aspects to our lives unguarded causes us problems. We often don’t know that something’s broken until it actually fails. The news is, many things are potentially flawed or broken to begin with. With this said, can we now fully understand those who don’t believe in accidents? Perhaps accidents are simply the fulfilment of something already broken.

Moving forward, when it becomes clear to us, what’s beneath the fundamental programming of our unconscious-autopilots, we’re able to anticipate problems.

“And so it is clear: Our unconscious minds are constantly seeking love, admiration and respect. Even if this love and respect is unconsciously gained through error.”

For example, if a young boy grows up witnessing violence from father to mother or mother to father (physical or verbal), replicating this programming (in one form or another) is how his unconscious mind will look for love, admiration and respect, in later life.

Gaining love through emulating what we’ve witnessed – directly taught in childhood through example – is the remit of our unconscious mind. The unconscious mind, of the boy in our example, is looking for this admiration and respect from those who did the programming. Even suicide bombers are looking for love, admiration and respect from their programmers.

Step Out of Delusion (and free yourself)

The first thing we must do is define the word delusion:


  1. an idiosyncratic belief or impression maintained despite being contradicted by reality or rational argument, typically as a symptom of mental disorder.

Now, delusions are common, very common. It could be said that nearly every human being on the planet is deluding themselves to a greater or lesser degree. The question, we should probably ask ourselves right now though, is this: Are our delusions useful and positive or are they damaging, negative and detrimental to our wellbeing?

Once again we’re reminded of the delusions of suicide bombers and the like. Human beings, following the damaging and negative ideals of those who’ve gone before, are a scourge we’re stuck with for the time being. Dying in a blaze of glory, as it were, is seen by the impressionable, lonely and unloved, as a way of finding some kind of recompense. All they’re really saying is: Look at what you’ve done. Their actions teach guilt, and like it or not, we’re all potential time-bombs.

Delusion Time Bomb

“It could be said, delusion is and will always be a byproduct of consciousness. Until we actually understand consciousness, perhaps delusion and its idiosyncratic (of the individual) nature, will always be present. The goal can only be to minimise the damage through minimising the amount of delusions we all carry.”

Perhaps the answer is to teach our young about the black and white nature of our existence. Perhaps only once we’ve removed the delusions the religious teach us – about souls, god, the afterlife and such – will we gain a better grip on what’s real and what isn’t.

Of course what’s real and what isn’t, will always be a subjective and personal thing, yet it still remains that we must teach our young more about what a useful reality is, and what negative, limiting delusions are. The black and white of this sometimes seems to escape us. Confusion is the real enemy, when we step out of confusion, delusion is minimised.

Beliefs are mentioned in the definition above. Teaching our children about beliefs – understanding how they’re formed and how they continue to influence us throughout our whole lives – would be a fantastic start. It’s easy to eliminate negative, delusional beliefs, when we’re able to underpin them with the value and experience of love from gentle role models.

We can’t deny that part of the human condition is violence. Boxing, rugby and competitive games in general, are testament to our true nature: violent, competitive beings. It’s okay to accept this, because once we do, we’re able to move forward by understanding how to reduce the self-destructive elements from our true nature. Show children the pleasure, it’s possible to gain from giving of themselves (love), compared to that of punching people in the face (fear), and we progress.

After all, the biggest delusion we all suffer from, is self-importance. There’s nothing important or special about human beings whilst we continue to prove to each other that we’re unable to control our basic instincts: Sex and Violence. Control these things (through appropriate outlets) and we’re halfway there.

What would need to happen for potential parents to actually want to be better parents? What would need to happen for couples to actually believe they could improve their relationships and themselves? What needs to happen for us to want something better? When will we all take full responsibility for our children’s future? 

Time In My Head (for the professional)

“Just this morning I’ve been reminded of how I create a particular difficulty: I allow myself to be distracted”

Like me, you may be on a path; a journey toward a goal. This goal may require a lot of your time and energy. In fact, if you’re intention is to be successful at reaching your goal, allotting the correct amount of time and energy, is an important proviso.

Thinking time is very precious. If we’re to be successful, focusing our thinking-energy, in one particular direction, is required. Distractions can come in many forms, from everyday activities, (such as cooking, exercise, working and sleeping), to problems we may encounter when dealing with others.

Dealing with others can be the most distracting. Even when we’re cooking, washing up after we’ve eaten, or exercising much later, we can still be focusing our thinking-energy elsewhere. It’s other people that often break our train of thought.

“It’s the behaviour of others that can break the strong connection we may have formed with our important creative energy.”


The way to understand this, and potentially deal with the problem, is to measure our level of our emotional involvement with others, compared to that of our work. We’re measuring the importance of purpose. Let’s say our intention is to leave some kind of positive legacy to the world. I’d say that was quite important, wouldn’t you?

Now, in order to finance your activities in this regard, you need work. It could be, the work you’ve chosen is deliberately undemanding; taking very little of your thought-energy. So much so, that even when doing the work, you can be busy processing your long term goals in your head. All well and good you might think.

The stumbling block are the people you must work with. No matter how hard we try, the antics of those around us, continue to interfere with our thoughts. The main reason for this is our own humanness, this is to say, our empathy and intuitive nature is getting in the way. Others disturb our emotions; they create emotional disturbances to such a degree it becomes a distraction. In this scenario we must ask ourselves: What must I do to lower the level of my emotional involvement?

“When we’re emotionally involved we’re being fully engaged. The reason for our emotional involvement may well be a lack of focus on what’s really important: our legacy.”

If we remain as the majority, we leave nothing, we simply consume and die. Think about it. Others, will potentially be distracting you from your purpose, simply because they have none. It is not your responsibility to teach them this, your responsibility is to yourself, and your positive legacy.


It can be seen as hard or a little callous to suggest we must be indifferent to some of those around us, however, nothing is achieved when we’re being distracted from the goal of reaching our purpose. Mindfulness is key. Be mindful of your emotions and how others may be throwing stones into the pool of your mind.


Pedal Power

“As daft as it may seem, when riding a pushbike, make sure you lift up the leg that isn’t performing the down stroke.”

When pushing down with your right leg for example, and only resting your left leg on the opposite pedal, the leg performing the downward stroke will be working harder. This will only be working one particular muscle group. We must use the muscles in each leg equally. It’s about being conscious of the technique you’re using.

On reading the above paragraph it may seem obvious that if you don’t lift and push your legs equally, muscles aren’t being worked equally. It’s a bit like pushing all the time when seeking achievement.

If all we do is focus our attention on one thing, and work unceasingly on this, it’s stands to reason we’re going to tire. We must rest the creative part of our minds or we’ll become over-tired and unproductive. We may even get stuck all together.

This reminds me of a story I noticed yesterday about the increasing use of Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) in America for children with Autism. The story related to a particular child who, when not receiving ECT on a weekly basis, would self harm almost continually.


“When we think of what powers the thought processes in the human brain (approximately 20 watts of electrochemical energy) it’s easy to see the thinking behind the use of ECT.”

When someone is confused, and their thoughts are scrambled and conflicting, electrodes are placed on their temples, so to pass a current of electricity through their brain. It’s believed this effectively reboots and changes the chemicals within the mind: to unscramble the confused, conflicting electrical storm within. This is the thinking behind the treatment.

The issue, over the use of this treatment, is very close to my heart, as a sibling of mine once received it. She was very ill through being mentally confused at the time, and the doctors had no clue as to what was to be done, the solution they came up with was sessions of ECT. I’m unsure of the number, yet do remember the controversy and upset, over its use at the time.

“Suffice to say, the treatment had some effect. My sister seemed to snap out of her delusions and frightening instability. However, it still remains controversial; some describe the treatment as barbaric.”

When we think about the beauty, elegance and delicacy of the neural pathways of the brain, we can understand those who consider the treatment barbaric. You really wouldn’t want to witness the convulsion part of this treatment on a person you loved. You’d potentially think they were experiencing extreme distress.


Greater distress perhaps, than the type felt when banging their head on the floor or wall, as was the habit of the Autistic child mentioned above. Perhaps ECT is simply a surreptitious form of punishment for being a bad girl and frightening everyone. Keep self harming, frightening us, taking our power, time, attention, and we’ll do this to you again kid. That kind of thing. Who knows.

When pushing the electric current in one direction, and one direction only, do we potentially reset the programming? Do we change the chemistry within the brain? Do we damage the neurons and their pathways? Do we destroy the pathways that are causing the confusion? Why is there confusion? Are we not simply adding to the fear these unfortunate children must already be experiencing?

“Are we looking to cure the dis-ease with a pain that’s greater. Is this not similar to executing the child killers, instead of understanding why they murdered?”

I can share with you some facts of cause and effect: My sister wasn’t held as a baby. My mother was told to not respond to her crying. My mother only realised later she probably had colic and was in great distress. How does the baby-mind deal with this painful distress and lack of attention? How do children gain the love and attention they long for?

My mother once told me she wasn’t the maternal type and didn’t really know how to love her children. Later in my sisters life, her instability only grew as she witnessed the fear and confusion all around her: the adult-children – her parents – struggling to raise four children with their poor understanding of how to love. Her mind collapsed as a way to change the dynamic and stop the fear. The frightened and confused doctors then placed the electrodes on her temples to fry her mind.

When will we understand how to love?

When will we understand who’s pedalling the power here?

When will we stop pushing so hard, not conscious, of what we’re doing?

Sometimes all a child needs is love.


The Hairy Successful

“It’s a question I’m continually asked: How exactly do successful people achieve their success?”

When you think of it, this particular post could be a very long, boring drawn out affair, however, with my particular penchant being for simplification, I reckon I can keep it interesting and relatively short.

During their childhood (bear with me) the majority of successful people have been shown some very simple principles. One, and potentially the most important, is the principle of how we all learn through example. Put simply, during childhood, successful people have been shown powerful examples.

These examples are from the adults around them. Of course, the most influential examples, are going to be from those closest to us. This is not to say that positive – or negative – examples, of how to succeed or survive (respectively) in life, have all been from parents. On the contrary, children are influenced in many ways, from many people.

“Predominantly negative examples are likely to lead us to surviving rather than thriving in life. If we see examples of lackadaisical, unimaginative people around us, there’s a strong likelihood, we’ll follow suit.”

Alternatively, experiencing positive examples from loving, imaginative and emotionally mature parents, leads us on to live lives full of love and creativity. You might think this obvious, yet surprisingly, poor parenting, from unenthusiastic adult-children, is not necessarily seen as the precursor to a miserable life; be assured, it is.

And so, there is one of the most important provisos for success: a happy childhood. Those of us raised by emotionally mature parents will always have the advantage over others. Let’s take the example of two very popular cooks here in the UK: The Hairy Bikers.

Straight away we can know that one of the main reasons The Hairy Bikers are popular, is because they’re cooks, and good ones at that. In addition to being good at dealing with food, they also come over as being two extremely grounded, and genuine people. They’re genuinely interested and love cooking good food. This is reflected in their jovial, light hearted manner and proficient cooking skills. They also exude love. They are social people. They are interested and passionate about what they do.


Another example of a genuine, passionate, social and loving cook, who adores what he does, is Jamie Oliver.

“Successful people are adult people, so much so, they often come over as children’s entertainers. The antics of The Hairy Bikers, for example, wouldn’t go amiss at a children’s party. You can be rest assured though, when it comes to business, they’re very grown up indeed.”

You simply cannot become a millionaire in childhood. When our thinking is still based on the poor examples we were shown in childhood, we’ll never be successful in the way we wish. We’ll be successful, but we’ll only be succeeding, at being the example of a human being, we were shown during childhood. Parents raise replicas of themselves, in fact, they make a point of it.

Once we know and understand this we can change. We can change through learning from the examples we see around us from successful adults. Many successful adults are merely exploiting a fact: we children need entertaining.

Be successful and entertain the children yourself, with good examples, by becoming an adult. Look around you: are the people you see emotionally mature, fully grown adults? If not, move on, and find some better examples. You may not have had any choice as a child, yet now you are grown, you can put away the things of childhood.

Build Quality


“It’s a certain fact the Germans are good at building cars. And so with this in mind, does it automatically follow, that we should all buy German? I know that if I were in the market for a new car I’d want the best.”

So how about if there were two near identical cars, with the main, discernible differences between them, being the price and where they’re manufactured? Well this is the very situation: two near identical cars, one built in the Czech Republic, the other built in Germany. The most obvious difference between them is the badge on the bonnet.

“If we’re honest most people will opt for the badge that represents the car manufacturer they know and trust. Yet what is becoming increasingly clear, is we can never really be sure who or what we know, and who we can trust.”

In real terms, the badge on the bonnet, is worth very little in comparison to the thousands we’re likely to part with when buying the car it’s attached to. Where the symbolism of a badge comes into its own is when it represents something we believe in. Symbols and the associated beliefs are worth a lot of money.

Valuable Symbols – To some

The belief is the key. If we believe in it, we can be blinded, even hoodwinked into spending so much more than we needed to. Who would’ve believed that a car company millions believed in and trusted would be accused of deliberately misleading governments and its customers? It was all quite a surprise was it not?

This aside, the other issue we must consider, is build quality. When a product goes on the market, sold at a markedly cheaper price, again our first instinct is to question why? We wonder how the difference in price can be explained, and again we come to the conclusion, that the cheaper product is potentially substandard in some way. Again this is often down to our beliefs and expectations. If there is a large difference in price we immediately become suspicious.

“Build quality is often improved through errors, and oh boy, have Škoda made a few of those.”

There are those of us who are able to suspend beliefs and expectations though. Consider the car manufacturer Subaru. Thirty years ago you’d have been considered a fool if you’d bought one, and now? Now, the name Subaru, is synonymous with sexy.

Sexy Quality“When we’re able to suspend our beliefs and expectations, not only do we open ourselves up to new and unexpected experiences, we can save thousands (our time and energy).”

The sting in the tale to this story is that both cars, referred to at the top of this post, are built by people who work for the same company, so the only real difference, is where they’re built. So who should you trust now then?

Quality Symbol?

“Perhaps it’s a leap of faith that will enable us to suspend our expectations and beliefs.”

And so when it comes to understanding your mind and beliefs – through personal and professional development – there may be a few options to choose from. We’re certainly not the cheapest, yet if you need to understand the price difference, it’s simply because our heads are held the highest, and our overheads the lowest.

There’s Lumps of Instant Coffee in My Sugar

Ooooo how lovely, a coffee.

“I prise open the lid, look within the tin, and find those annoying little lumps of instant coffee amongst the sugar.”

Really, why do I find that this is the only thing to upset me this morning? It didn’t seem to matter that I was shouted at: told to f**ck off, by an angry paperboy, or that the store manager behaves like an excited child on happy pills.

I often wonder what the customers think, what with this strange woman charging around the shop, muttering to herself, and on occasion shouting complete nonsense to anyone who has the courage to step through the door. It gives me a headache. Or should I say, my need for calm in the face of her insanity, does.

It’s not the only thing that gives me a headache; it’s coming of caffeine that’s giving me the real headache. How my brain longs for its stimulation, but I’m determined to clean up my act, no matter how much it hurts. Perhaps we should all be named Bear Payne, what d’ya think?

You see, long term, there will be a payoff for freeing myself of all my addictions. The coffee industry has us by the balls, or your short and curly’s, you know. If you’re seeking justification to the health benefits to coffee, you’d not need to look far, or alternatively, if you’d like to understand the negatives of caffeine you can do this too. It really does depend on your standpoint you see.

“Although, when we want to really explore beliefs, we come to understand how a belief, or indeed a whole system of beliefs, can be created purely for the purpose of commerce, and possibly to the detriment of its customers. Do you actually know the truth about coffee? Does anyone? Just one example you understand.”

And so drinking Green Tea (useful for gently reducing your caffeine dosage) with a little ginger, or sipping peppermint tea before bed, or lemon with ginger, or perhaps just water, can give you a cleaner outlook on life. And here’s a cleaner way to find real and true stimulation: go for a ride or a run or just a fast walk, will do.

As for being surrounded by madness, and angry paperboys too? Well… just get the lumps of instant coffee out of the sugar will ya, and I’ll be feeling right as rain. The coffee in the sugar… it’s personal you see. I wanted a little sugar in my Green Tea, only to find it infested with little lumps: they look like mouse droppings to me.

Just a little sugar please

“There’s no anger within me and no madness either, at least not of the dangerous kind, that scares the customers away.”

And so the rest of the world can do what it needs, just as long as it’s not personal. When the problems of others trouble us, it’s only because we’re seeing a nasty reflection of what’s buried within.


Question the motives of those around you, be surprised to learn, their motives may actually be bad for you. And let’s face it, who needs the sulphur dioxide bleached sugar? I think I can do without that too.

False Accounting

If you’re an Area Manager and the businesses you’re overseeing are losing accounts, what should you do?

A, Nothing

B, look to understand why

C, Fail to understand why and still do nothing:

D, Look for a short term fix and tell your managers how to improve matters or:

E, Be aware of the problem, accept not knowing how to improve the situation long term, own up to this, and then find the necessary resources needed or:

F, Fail to understand why and then tell your managers to falsify their accounting to cover up the problem.

The following is a very brief overview of the situation:

Under no circumstances are we looking to defraud the company out of cash, or anything as sinister as that, no, what we’re looking to do, is just make everything seem a little better than it actually is. As such, option F has been selected, and there are currently many ways to put this plan into operation.

It could be, that the businesses you oversee, are losing accounts through natural wastage: people dying, for example, and yet as a result of the management through fear system, that your company runs under, the option F of False Accounting may always seem like the better choice.

Okay, now, any Area Manager worth his salt, will immediately see the flaw in the mentality of the above example. Looking at the bigger picture: if managers fail to report loss of accounts, only to falsify their figures to cover up for this over a period of years, ultimately, this will prove extremely damaging to the company as a whole.

It’s possible to cite numerous examples of where this type of communication breakdown has occurred. A breakdown that has led to the very thing everybody was looking to avoid in the first place: failure, or, as in the example given above, the collapse of a business or unnecessary strain placed on other branches of that same business (a chain of shops for example).

The management-through-fear principle, that so many businesses seem to run under, is a staggeringly limiting mentality. A business will never reach its full potential when managed in this way. To stress the point, if those who’re responsible for marketing the business, aren’t made aware of how things are at the ground (due to false accounting at branch manager level) how can they ever be expected to appreciate the necessity for variation, in their approach.

“Being led to believe all is well at the grassroots level, when it most definitely isn’t, is reflective of so many problems we experience in life.”

“The grass may well be dying at the borders, and all the time not be noticed, by those sitting in the middle of the garden.”

It reminds me of a child who’s unable to tell a parent the truth of a situation for fear of the potential consequences. This is the case of course, when a parent blames the child for their own failings: an unfortunate and all too common state of affairs. When children make mistakes it’s often simply because that’s what they need to learn in that moment in time.

Breaking mother’s favourite vase for example, because we were running around the house in an uncontrolled and excited manner, was not the fault of childhood, it was the fault of the parent who failed to set boundaries through explaining cause and effect.

“When around valuable objects it’s not wise to play cowboys and Indians dear: you might break something, so go outside, now!”

So, bringing the case in hand back on point, when our mentality is driven by fear of the potential consequences, and we’re doing adult things, in an adult world, (running a business) disaster beckons. A grown mentality is to own up to our failings and do this through seeing the importance of the bigger picture. It may well be the case, that what is seen as a simple piece of harmless false accounting (or creative-accounting as I’ve heard it described) may lead on to far more damaging consequences in the long term.

“We must all stop being so damned self-centered, it’s a f**cking disaster, waiting to happen.”

Option E: The informed choice of an adult mind