Parenting skills and how we interact with each other is so very important. How can we possibly expect a child to go to sleep on time, when they’ve spent the whole evening alone, watching television or playing computer games on phones or tablets. It’s just not going to happen. It’s useful to watch the short video in this piece.
“I couldn’t help wondering why the stuff that mother needed to ‘get done,’ couldn’t have been a task, carried out, after the child was in bed. Self-centeredness is never going to be a useful trait in parents.”
What we can also learn from this is, the action of leaving children alone to entertain themselves, is teaching them that there’s value in self-centeredness (never confuse this with selfishness, we can selfishly enjoy each others company).
Mother is teaching her daughter to value self-centeredness through her own attitude. There is NO value in being self-centered. Spend time with children, even if they’re playing on a computer. Interact with them whilst they play.
“A child will never understand that self-centeredness creates neediness. The child is unable to verbalise these needs and ask for your company. Their behaviour simply demands it. A parent must understand this. In this example, all the child will do is see bed time, as quality time with mum and dad. The rest of the time mother and father are being self-centered in their actions and attitude.”
When parents leave children to just get on with it on their own – so they can ‘get stuff done’ – loneliness sets in. I believe loneliness in our children is a bigger problem than we realise. Interaction with others is the cure for loneliness and teaches us about ourselves. Self-awareness, as some might teach us, never comes from being alone. No, it comes from healthy interaction with others.
In an ideal world children should never be left alone. Attentive, loving parents, who set appropriate boundaries and rules for children, raise grounded and healthy adults. A computer game or television teaches us something about ourselves, yet we must ask, exactly what? What are we being taught? What behaviour do we expect from our children, when they’re lonely, having only the illusion of company, created through tablets, phones or television?
I could weep whilst watching this video, because what I see, is a lonely child getting the attention she deserves through being unruly, and out of control. In a real loving world, that isn’t the fantasy we’re taught (that children can be left to their own devises) parents would understand how much time they truly need to spend with their children.
We’re all so busy though aren’t we? So how can we make time for children when we simply don’t have it? Well, there needs to be a clear understanding of what children actually need, and then a plan in place for how we can provide that, before, we have them.
Sound to simplistic?
Probably, however, if we continue to fail in our duty to properly love our children, the issue of de-evolution stands a greater chance of becoming reality. Artificial Intelligence taking over the world, may not linger in the realms of science fiction for ever. It is in fact already becoming a genuine fear many academics have begun to express. If we don’t realise and act now, failures in parenting and how we love, will grow to be the start of our demise.