Young minds search. They seek relentlessly for some identity. A young mind wants to know what and who it is. The young mind wants to know how to behave, what to do, how to be.
Think of a young boy. An impressionable new mind seeking guidance. Do you think this new, young mind, automatically knows how to be and how to act? Or do you imagine he will be seeking some guidelines, some order and structure?
What if your son has no role model?
Many animals of the world, us included, follow and mimic the animals around them. The void, of the young boy’s mind, is to be filled with what gets him closer to his mother and father: those that keep him safe. When the child is within a stable family environment, he sees father in love with mother, and wants his mother to love him also. As such, he becomes his father, so mother will love him more.
“If your relationship with his mother fails, never lie, about your mistakes.”
Whether his father is a good man or not, is irrelevant, he’ll model himself on what he sees. If his father is a gangster and his mother loves him for it, he will become a gangster, in one form or another, when grown. The main issue, you may have with acknowledging this, is the responsibility it brings. Be a man and acknowledge your responsibility.
As a father your first step must be to become more self-aware. This is simple. Just notice what you like, or dislike in others, and know, this is you. All others are simply a mirror of ourselves. So, in order to become more self-aware and a better person in the process, all we need do, is get to know others. As many people as possible, so open up, your social circle.
Now, to love your son – and there are benefits to this your own father may not have been able to teach you – be a beautiful role model.
Be meek, in terms of understanding your anger and frustrations.
Be gentle, in terms of how you treat your wife.
Know boundaries, in terms of your time, and that of others.
Give of yourself, in terms of how much, you play with your son.
Learn how to think, in terms of cause and effect, and then teach this your son.
Be grown in terms of becoming emotionally mature.
Find contentment, in terms of accepting your responsibilities.
Above all, show your son what it is to be a good person; a good man. Be strong, patient and empathic and learn how to love yourself, because if you can’t do that (he will know), you’ll be failing at loving your son.
If you want to be a good man, and help us all improve this world, be responsible, and love your son. Are you happy for him to become who you are right now? If not, change, it’s your duty. Simple.