“The Double Bind, is when an individual is bound in such a way, that there’s a feeling of no escape – or no alternative – to heading in one particular direction, or following a certain set of rules.”
For example, on entering a Hypnotherapists consulting room, you may well be asked: Would you like to sit in that chair or the one by the window? Either way, you’re expected – and bound – into sitting during the session; or are you likely to state: I’d prefer to stand, thank you. If so you’d probably be told the ‘yoga’ class is next door. A negative result for all concerned.
So you see, a Double Bind, is one where you’re left with no alternative, or certainly with the feeling, there’s no alternative.
Whether we like it or not binds are something we face everyday of our working lives. Do we take the bus, the train or do we drive to work? We’re bound by our commitment to work for a living, and of course, for most of us, travelling there. What we must remember though, is we’re not bound or tied to do a certain number of hours in any one week. We’re not bound to give our entire lives to work as so many seem intent on doing.
“In order to free ourselves from this particular bind, and turn it to our advantage, we must change our thinking.”
There must come a point, in the near future, where more of us realise the nonsensical nature of how we’re living out our lives. Leisure time will increase as more and more of us find that machines have taken our place. Automation, of labour-intensive work, makes perfect sense, as does the potential for AI technology, to replace jobs such as teaching or driving.
If in the future, wealth becomes better divided, we’ll certainly have more enjoyable lives, and more time for leisure activities. Removing the guilt, associated with having a leisurely lifestyle, and then becoming more creative with our free time, will be important for us to succeed at this upcoming change.
“The binds, many of us are neglecting to acknowledge, are there as a means for control. We’re steadily slipped deeper and deeper into appalling systems, that are dictating and creating appalling, unhealthy lives.”
These systems are telling us we must earn a certain amount of money – we’re initially bound into through needing to pay off student loans, for example – and we’re conditioned to believe in the need, for a certain – ever-increasing – amount of money, to live comfortable, happy lives. We believe money and lifestyle equal the level of happiness we experience.
So there are the binds, escaping these shackles starts by asking ourselves: What’s the point of the whole thing? We’re working forty to fifty hours a week to pay of the debt – a belief system – has generated.
Imagine a life with no debt, ten hours of work per week, and the rest as leisure time, filled with fresh air and energising, joyful exercise, that requires little financial outlay. It’s about state of mind. It is achievable, all we need do, is think ourselves out, of the binds we’ve placed ourselves in to.
“Balanced minds create balanced lives where work, exercise, time with family etc. are all in harmony.”
In addition to this, time just sitting silently watching through windows, is never wasted time. When we make this kind of time, we extend our lives, enhancing the richness of our experiences. This is something for us to get our heads around.
Teaching our children contentment happens when we have this for ourselves. Contented children will achieve whatever they choose, whilst those who’ve been taught to achieve, will always be busy wondering: Why can’t I find it?