family

A Basic Human Right

Human Brain

“It’s said, one of our fundamental, basic human rights, is that of procreation. We have the right, as human beings, to conceive new life. It’s fundamental to our entire makeup, all of us adults, have the right, to have a child.”

It stands to reason doesn’t it? We are life, therefore, we have the right to create life. By association, we then have the right to mold this new life, in whatever way we see fit. It’s this association we must take issue with.

We must take issue: because we have the basic human right to create new life, we then have the right to make assumptions. To assume this new life has no influence in deciding how it’s raised. How can we simply assume that we have the right to raise a child, in whatever way we see fit? To do this even if we’re ignorant as to whether this is in the best interests of that child or not.

Of course who decides what is in fact ‘the best interests of the child’ raises more questions than answers. We do place governments in such a position that they hold most of the cards in this regard. Yet most governments – because of their fear of losing power – are no doubt often reluctant to interfere.

We do have social controls in place. Those who work within this field, are authorised to intervene in the most extreme cases. They must intervene when the best interests of the child are being completely ignored, and/or perhaps even abused. However, their intervention is often too little, too late, and therefore ineffective.

“So what about making the case for children’s rights before they’re even born, or better still, conceived?”

Perhaps we can play with the idea of having fewer people in the world. Would this improve things for children and their rights? What about China? Although the intention, was not to defend the rights of the unborn, but to protect the wellbeing of the living, Communist China, and its one child policy, is perhaps a good example. Do children in small families have greater rights?

China is now facing fears of economic disaster in its near future. There are too few youngsters to pay for an ageing population. When we look at the quality of life for the child – who has no siblings and as such is the sole centre of attention – has the one child policy been beneficial to China’s children?

“Interestingly, and much to the dismay of China’s leaders, even though this policy has now been abandoned. Many young couples are staying with the idea of only having one child. It has now become enmeshed into their culture.”

With all this said, even when a family is small, there is no guarantee of this improving quality of life, or asserting and improving the rights of the child. In fact it could make matters worse. Often siblings prove to be the providers/protectors of brothers and sisters, and as such, larger families do have their benefits. And let’s never forget the issue of loneliness.

Back to the point in question: who is protecting the rights of the unborn? What is it exactly that gives parents the right to bring life into a world that many consider broken and overpopulated?

Having children is certainly one of the most selfish activities there is, this is not to say there’s anything wrong with selfishness, there isn’t. The problem, is when selfishness, is mixed with ignorance.

“What would it take for potential parents to realise that the child, they’re asking to bring into the world, is not actually asking to be born?”

They may just as easily be asking to not be conceived. It may well be, that once the child’s consciousness is sufficiently developed, it would much prefer to have never been born; ever increasing suicide rates no doubt the solution.

And so, along with reducing suicide rates and protecting the rights of children, what would it take for humans to make this world – and its people – a more welcoming and pleasant place?

Surely potential parents should be asking themselves: “do we really want to bring a new life into this world that we’ve turned into a hell?” Why are parents so decided on bringing new life into this hell only to perpetuate its existence? Surely any parent would want to bring a child into a heaven, rather than a hell?

The answer, for most, is of course family. We create a little slice of heaven with our families don’t we? We exclude and negate the existence of the hell all around us, by creating the warm bosom of family. When we have family, we can find a little peace of heavenly-safety, longingly returned to each day. Something that’s way and above the depths of this hell we’ve created.

“Thank goodness for family you might say. And as long as we continue to place psychopaths in charge of this hell, then hell – outside our small family units – is all we’ll get.”

This does bring me back to something I’ve mentioned in the past: The Global Family. We know immigration doesn’t work – it will never take over five billion humans out of poverty – and so what is the answer to creating the ease and safety, a Global Family, is likely to create?

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The answer is a common understanding of the most fundamental concept to human survival: LOVE. Surely love, and a clean understanding of this, is the first basic, human right to be sought and guaranteed. Consider this definition:

“Love and the ability to teach it, is wanting and needing to empower your partner and children to evolve into whole human beings who are free of fear, because that process gives you pleasure, freedom from your own fear, and brings you closer to wholeness”      Create Beautiful Partnerships

This definition of love, takes into account the natural tendency toward human selfishness. Indeed it uses this very tendency in a positive way. And what if, rather than simply stating: partners and children, we also include – all those we meet – into the definition? 

If we loved all those we meet, in the manner described above, this world would certainly be a better place. Irrespective of the size of our family, this could be achieved in a very short space of time.

“Removing fear will prove to be the most effective means of controlling the levels of our population.”

So there we are: putting the world to rights before we have children. This includes a common understanding of love, the removal of fear and effective leadership from well reasoned people. Not to much to ask for now, is it?

children, love, award of love, pleasure, pain

All You Need is Love

Love

I’ve been awarded an MBE! Surely not, me? An MBE?

Actually, there’s no award, no MBE, I lied, and after this short piece, there’s never likely to be one in the offing either. So with that said, let’s get to some truths.

You see, when it comes to truth, it’s all about perspective. It’s about how you choose to look at something, and how you choose to feel about it, and that’s all there is to it really. Your truth is just that: your perspective, your opinion. However, how we choose to view and feel about something, can have a very powerful effect on our lives.

In life, there are times, when we’re unaware or confused, as to why we often don’t fully achieve our goals – irrespective of our perspective – and so what follows, are some clues to help solve the riddle. Also, the bewildering facts of life, in terms of how the elite stay elite, and the rest of us stay small, is also explained within the next few paragraphs.

Let’s start with this example. You may think being awarded an MBE, or any award for that matter, is something special. Perhaps you’d be right to feel pleased to have been honoured with such a prestigious award as an MBE. If so, good luck to you.

The alternative perspective though, would be to feel manipulated and belittled, by this act. Consider this: The Beatles were given an MBE back in the sixties. Now, it was certainly plain to see, The Beatles were very popular by this time, so popular in fact, they were becoming a force to be reckoned with amongst the young. They had influential power, yet this power was never abused, they simply enjoyed being fabulous, new and inventive rock stars.

Now, imagine you’re the aristocracy observing the rise of such a power. Imagine you felt threatened by this unknown entity: rock stars. Imagine asking yourself what would be needed, in order to remind them, (The Beatles) and all their fans, who is in charge, and who (or what) is the most powerful force in Britain.

That’s right, what would we need to do in order to reassert the balance? The solution, as we now know, is to give such a force an award. Wow! What a wonderful way to ensure you ride on the back of someone else’s success and assert your own power at the same time.

When it come to games of power, no one is better at playing these games, than the British aristocracy. Some, but not many, are seeing through these games. It’s possible John Lennon saw through it – he was certainly intelligent enough and endowed with an extremely powerful force – as he returned his MBE in November 1969 citing Britain’s involvement in the Nigerian civil war and its support for America in the Vietnam conflict as his reasons.  

You see, power games are played very subtly. Take some time to ponder and then consider the merit of the following: When you’re given an award, the unconscious statement from those giving it, is this: Because we have a history, we’re stronger, richer and therefore more powerful than you. By this accord, we claim the right to be properly qualified to give you an award.

“In fact, the reality is, no one is better or stronger than you, and as such, have no right to belittle you by giving you an award. The act of giving awards gives the awarder power over you.”

The award actually states: “we’re better than you.” Power, and the recognition of them having it, is disguised as recognition of you. “You are awarded for recognition for services to…..”  How dare they! 

The MBE, awarded the Beatles, weakened them, and at the same time, strengthened the aristocracy. The Beatles had no need for an award. It was never something they reached for, sought or expected. They were great before it was given, with sales of records that stand testament to this. The aristocracy had no right to invite themselves upon their success. Put simply it was despicable behaviour.

Although at a slightly different level, the same principles apply throughout. Consider awards given within the workplace. You may be well aware of the childlike nature of the awards some companies give their employees. Frankly, some of the awards, given to staff by large corporations, remind me of something that would be given out to a five year old at primary school. Or perhaps a good monkey or pet dog.

At this point I’m so, so tempted to start swearing, and God help me if Bob Dylan makes any positive mention of his recent award. I say: ‘don’t play the game man, stay great!’

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The same applies to you, the awards don’t mean a thing. They mean nothing: no thing. No one is qualified to award you, and in the same measure, no one is qualified to belittle you. Be great and greater still by only expecting in return what The Beatles, and those like them, were built on: LOVE.

“You receive love, not from awards, but by the power of love instilled within you – love, silently growing within, from your acts of bravery. Every single day you get out of bed and live a good life, never living off the hard work of others, is bravery.”

Never exploiting others, only ever giving to others, is bravery. Be assured: you will be rewarded in ways you currently cannot conceive. Do it, be brave, give love and you’ll never look back. Above all, always ensure your perspective, is in the right place.

the key is parents who teach empathy

Where’s The Fun in That?

Golden key and puzzle

You’re crouched behind a low wall, your heart is beating fast, you’re anxious, you’re scared you have a rifle in your hands, the gun is sighted, you pull the trigger. Bang! He’s dead. So where’s the fun in that?

The plan is laid, the bomb is strapped around your torso. Now walking, as calmly as you possibly can, headed to the crowded market. You pick your moment, you’re sweating profusely, yet you know this is the only way. Bang! You’re dead.  So where’s the fun in that?

You’ve had a drink too many, you’re feeling happy, he’s asked you back to his room. You’re having sex it’s exciting, you’re drunk, and now his friend is at it too. Bang! You’re mind is dead. So where’s the fun in that?

“Whether it be shooting at your enemies, choosing martyrdom, from the self-detonated bomb, or having exciting sex taken much too far, we’re all able to find a way to make a complete mess of our own little world, aren’t we?”

You might wonder what it is that compels us humans to be so damned self-destructive. It’s not as if we plan it this way is it? The plan is usually survival of one form or another. A belief in the afterlife, one much better than this, is obviously very appealing when you live in abject misery. Especially when the corrupted teachers of hate and fear get hold of your mind when young. What underdeveloped countries lack is all too obvious: good leadership.

And what about the night out turned sour? Or playing war games with real guns and bombs, ships and tanks? We didn’t plan on getting raped. We didn’t plan on getting shot or being the shooter, destroying our lives with the guilt and shame of taking life.

Looked at from afar, we can see the games we play as simply that: games that have gone too far. Games where the rules of proper sportsmanship have become confused and overly complicated. Games of fear that we play out in reality making our lives, and that of others, a hellish misery.

When young, if we’re lucky, we’re asked to ‘play nicely.’ To play our games in a way that is controlled and based on simple rules. We’re asked by our parents: “if you hit Johnny like that, how do you imagine he feels?” We’re asked to be gentle and loving, we’re shown how to play nicely. We’re taught empathy. It’s as if we’re lacking these lessons in how to think. It’s as if we’re missing the lessons of how to love and build compassion for our fellow man.

How do the people left behind feel when you blow yourself up? How do the loved ones, of the man you’ve just shot, feel, when picking up the pieces of your violent act? If you take this woman when she’s drunk – with little control over her mind – how will she feel in the morning? Will you feel like a man or a coward? Would you feel ashamed? A real, courageous, strong man, doesn’t overpower a woman, to get what he needs, he respects her needs first. Where have all these men gone? Where are all the gentle-men?

“Truly courageous men and women don’t take up the gun or the bomb in the belief it will get the job done. True courage is displayed by those who seek, the more challenging and difficult job, of finding peaceful solutions. Where have all the peace-keepers gone?”

We can carry on failing and flailing, in an unthinking way, or we can plan to succeed. We succeed, not through destruction, but by the construction of loving bonds and lasting resolutions to the lazy solution of fuelling violence, anger and hatred. It starts with understanding how we fail. We fail through failing to plan with empathy and love for each other in our hearts. We fail by failing to plan.

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When it comes to planning, and specifically how we plan on finding the correct people to lead us, it’s seems we’ve still to learn from our mistakes. We humans, don’t necessarily always learn from our mistakes, only sometimes.

So what about leadership? Those who are drawn to politics are not necessarily the correct calibre of people to lead us. We need a rethink. At the end of the day, it’s us that’re electing people who border on – or are completely full blown – psychopaths. Loving, powerful leaders with the skill of empathy, are rare, how do we find them? We find them in their childhood.

We must teach our children empathy and how to be effective leaders in their childhood. Only then will we have a pool of potentials, who, as adults, can lead us all on to greatness. Sound crazy? Think about it. We really do need a rethink, or perhaps just a reminder, of how and why certain leaders, from our distant past, became so great.

entitlement and the fantasy reality crossover

Fantasy Reality Crossover

entitlement and the fantasy reality crossover

Entitlement

Is your back broken? Do you have pain in your body? Have you been working hard? Are you exhausted? Do you feel entitled to a comfortable time now? Do you feel like it’s your time now, to get all you want?

If the answer is yes to all, or the majority of these questions, then it sounds as if it’s time to step into reality.

The reality is you’re now entitled my friend. You’ve climbed that mountain, you’ve carried that cross, you’ve broken your back for me.

In a little while I’m going to tell you how to claim your prize. And what a prize it’ll be. Pleasures like you’ve never dreamed. Such ease and delight, you’ll think you’re in heaven. All you need do is one more thing, yep, just one more task and all you’ve ever dreamed of, and more, will be yours.

And what is it you’re dreaming of my love? What are your dreams? Do you dream of lazy days, perhaps sitting in a comfortable rocking chair, placed on the wooden decking of a boathouse? Before you is a beautiful sunny day, not too hot not too cool, just right.

“You can see the beautiful blue lake, and at the end of the jetty, is a little boat, bobbing on the gentle ripples of the water.”

You’re drinking lemonade and there with you is a kindly old man; he’s smoking a pipe. The smoke from his pipe curls up in beautiful, colourful swirls, and the smell is most alluring.

Computing Colors

You have questions, and the old man is listening. He can tell you anything you need to know. What are you going to ask him? Would you ask him if there’s life after death perhaps? Would you ask him if there’s a life free from pain, hardship, injustice, tears and torture? Is there any entitlement? He may well tell you “no” and only explain about hell.

He would tell you: “it could all be so much worse than it currently is my love. A whole lot worse in fact.” You’re thinking you’ve caught him out, because – ‘if there’s a hell, then surely there must be a heaven, right?’

He says: “the life beyond this dream, your currently in, is your heaven my friend. And are you facing the reality of your responsibility to this place; this heaven?

Because you know real pain, you can taste real pleasure now. It’s time you woke and stopped creating the reality of hell. You have the reality of heaven right here. Of course you cannot dream of heaven without the nightmares too. Looking to avoid the pain is only delaying the inevitable. You must wake from the nightmare you’re creating by staying mostly asleep; and the final task? Wake up”

With the power of this information, you awaken, anew, refreshed and somehow empowered; breathing in the day. Knowing that the dream is over, the nightmares too, place your feet firmly on the ground. Climb from your bed to begin a new day.

There is entitlement here, just not too much; you’ve been provided for. Are you ready to claim your prize? It’s right before your eyes.

the cure to madness

Why the World is Mad

Connected lines background

It’s all about links and connections. Think about how one thought leads to another.

You wake in the morning and your mind starts to whir. What exactly decides the thoughts that lead from one to another?  What is it exactly that determines our very thought processes? Why do we think what we do? Why do we think the way we do?

“One thought always leads to another and it’s this very process that determines our seeming sanity and rationality.”

If our thoughts were completely random without any obvious links and connections then confusion would be the result. This confusion would potentially only reside within the minds of others, rather than within the mind of the random thinkers themselves. Random thoughts – within the confused mind – do not seem random, they may well seem correct, and normal. The insane are unaware of their insanity.

Thankfully, the majority of us have thoughts that link in a logical, sequential and rational manner. Incidentally actively promoting non-logical, lateral thinking can be useful at times, but that’s for another post. Now, the easiest way to understand how thoughts and thinking are organised and directed within the mind, is to think of the human brain as a kind of map. We can call these maps: Belief Systems.

With this now established, let’s consider someone with an important mind: a world leader. We can easily map out the sequential thoughts (beliefs) of our example leader; we can do this linguistically, like this:

leader = power = ownership = home = control = strength = fear = military = protection = aggression = growth = defence = anger = hate = resentment = prejudice

“We can safely say these thoughts would go around in a looped fashion, and these few words may only be part of a sequence of many hundreds.”

Now, consider a different leader whose sequential thoughts (beliefs) include these:

leader = direction = love = home = growth = teacher = strength to others = giving = education = prosperity = freedom = compassion = empathy = equality

Take a moment to ponder on these beliefs and decide which list would best suit a good world leader. Hopefully you’ve chosen the second set, and will of course by now noticed a problem: Not all leaders have the second set of beliefs mapped within the neurons of their minds. Not all world leaders think the same way.

“Certainly if our motivation is of a positive nature i.e we’re accepting of the inevitable pain life may hold for us; driven by love to find what we want – rather than fear, to avoid what we don’t want – all will be well.”

However, if we’re negatively driven (avoidance) then it’s more likely our minds will hold beliefs similar in nature to the sequence in our first example. So to put it simply, the beliefs we choose, will always be influenced by what we were shown or taught, to be effective motivators.

In order to build your understanding a little more, let me give you a further example. Consider the schoolboy experiencing bullying. On reporting his troubles he’s told: ‘the best way to get rid of a bully is to punch him fairly and squarely on the nose and to do this so hard he doesn’t get up for more.’

Now, what beliefs, do you imagine, are likely to form in our schoolboys mind? Is he likely to grow up offensive, defensive or in fact neither of the two? Bear in mind, the outcome of punching his tormentors on the nose, would certainly be a decider. If the bullies backed off, this would affirm the advice, yet if the bullies just came back for more, this would cause confusion, creating a different set of beliefs, that would possibly be confused and nonlinear in nature.

Far better to advise our tormented schoolboy: bullies are simply people who believe in using violence, as a means of defending themselves against what they fear, and the best way to tackle this will never be with further aggression.

“The best means of helping the bully is to love him. We do this through educating him with something other than our fists, guns, tanks, bombs or whatever.”

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The overall point to gain is this: confusion is our madness. When there’s little continuity in the beliefs and understandings of our leaders, confusion is the result. World leaders (or potential ones) all have their own agendas driven by their own values, motivations and beliefs. Therefore we’re all being kept in a constant state of confusion.

The prognosis, unfortunately, isn’t good. Until we have a universal understanding (in the minds of the people who are drawn toward leadership) of what it means to be a good, effective and powerful leader, the madness will continue.

Perhaps the answer is to find one leader, who holds the correct attributes – beliefs and all – whose teachings can then be used to govern the entire world. Of course who this person is and on what authority he’d be elected, remains to be seen.

What a crazy idea though, total madness, wouldn’t you say?

Your Greatness – Their Greatness

map of greatness

“Have you ever engaged with someone at a level you’ve never experienced before?”

Have you ever had the feeling you have someone’s absolute, full and complete attention? Have you ever had the feeling that someone understands you so well, that it’s almost as if they’re inside your mind?

This, is the power of analysis conducted by well trained, knowledgeable therapists. Not only that, when you add the power of modern psychotherapeutic techniques, and specifically GOLD Counselling, you have a formula that encourages change.

Clearing the way, for our clients to get all they want from life, is the aim of the committed therapist. Deep within the psyche of all, resides the power to succeed or the power to fail. That’s right, failure takes energy of mind, easily equal to that required, for success.

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‘Whatever I believe my mind always achieves for me either in reality or with my imagination as fantasy’ – GOLD Counselling

Required, for gentle insight into where our beliefs were learned, is the induction of a light trance, or relaxed state of mind. Simply listening to music can do this for the average person, due to our ability to focus attention. We’re then asking our clients to focus on some specific instructions; this alone can be sufficient to focus the mind.

Once focused we’re able to access and recall specific moments from our past that directly – or indirectly – link to the sensitising incidents where we learned our beliefs. Judicious questioning reveals startling insight into how, why and from whom we learned what we believe about ourselves, and the world about us.

Make no mistake, clearing the way, by removing limiting and negative beliefs from our minds, is only the first step, however, if we’d never taken our first steps, we’d have never learned to walk.

Imagine walking through life as if it were a minefield. Blindly stepping one way or the other simply hoping intuition, or trusting the map we’ve been shown, will correctly direct us to finding what it is we want. This, is what we all do, to a greater or lesser degree.

“The map is the territory and this map was shown and explained to us by our childhood cartographers. Do we know; can we be sure they got it right?”

Removing any doubt, that we may be heading blindly in the wrong direction – expending valuable energy – simply because we know nothing, other than what our childhood cartographers taught us, is how we positively place ourselves on the correct path.

By giving your clients valuable and elusive insight into their own minds you give them a powerful head start. By giving them the information, missing from the original map, you effectively give them the sight necessary, to see the buried land mines of failure.

There is a map in existence that clearly states: you will only ever have what you give. Your greatness, becomes their greatness as you begin to see clearly the map of misdirection laid out before you. A map that has been directing you, to use your time and energy, headed in the wrong direction.

Ruthless Determination

The Simple Formula of Powerful Leadership

Leadership. Audio version here

Leadership
Leadership

If you’re a bit of a reader (likely as you’re reading this) then I’ll start by recommending a good book.

jack-sparks

Even if you’re not necessary into the genre, it’s worth having a go at, as you’ll easily be able to see the metaphor behind the story – I’ll leave you with it, and share no more, or be at risk of spoiling it for you.

“When it comes to leadership, there’s certainly a very fine balance to be struck. Amongst many things, this includes the necessary balance between giving the people what they want and getting what it is, you want. This last sentence holds the key element to powerful leadership: what you want.”

What exactly do you want? Immediately, you may think I’m going to get all righteous and noble and say: leadership has nothing to do with what you want. This would be incorrect and I would go as far as to say: powerful, effective leadership, has everything to do with what you want.

Let’s paint a picture of the ideal. In the ideal picture what you actually want, and is therefore your motivation, is a beautiful life. Of course what your definition, or beliefs, of what ingredients are needed to form a beautiful life, will be important. If having a beautiful life for you, includes the experience of seeing  disharmony, suffering and hardship, amongst those you lead, then we have a problem. So obviously, good leadership, includes such things as compassion, empathy and so on.

Now, coming back to what you want (a beautiful life), a further important ingredient, is the understanding that a beautiful life is only ever achieved, when we see others experiencing it. For example, the best cooks are the ones who gain enormous amounts of pleasure, witnessing people eating and enjoying their beautifully prepared food – I have a great deal of respect for a good cook.

“Perhaps we could gain an important insight here in terms of identifying whether or not you have the most suited character traits for good leadership i.e does observing happy, joyous people, give you a sense of satisfaction? Are the policies you’re likely to implement going to enhance the lives of the people you lead? All important questions.”

Good leadership no doubt includes good, healthy internal drivings. Consider a leader who blindly pursues self-centered agendas that are based on playing to deep seated anger and resentment. This deep seated anger and resentment will of course reside within the leader themselves, and yet, the goal of power is to play to this within the people. In other words we have a negative as the driver.

Changing this around is to have a positive as the driver. Perhaps to talk about union, togetherness, prosperity within individuals, rather than segregation.

“To be able to promote individuality at the same time as togetherness is to empower each and everyone of the people you lead.”

This is achieved through appealing, not to deep seated anger and resentment, but to the freedom of movement love of the self, promotes.

The example of Scottish independence is a good one, as the current SNP agenda, is loosely based on the negative, historical continuity, of a hatred between the Scottish and the English. People will be reluctant and restrained from moving on when they continue to see, and are given value, in remaining stuck in the past.

“The amount of companies, for example, that still manage their staff through using authoritarian fear, instilled in childhood, never ceases to amaze me.”

Manage through the belief, that all your staff have the best interest of the company at heart and have emotional intelligence – or at the very least the potential to gain this – and you’ll be on the right track. This is done through education.

So there we are, a snippet to help us understand the what and who of powerful leadership. Your internal map holds the key. The ability to listen to good advice is also important.

One-upmanship

One-upmanship, For the Love of You (part 2)

king or queen of love

We’re so busy aren’t we? So much going on, we’ve barely got time for each other. And it’s all got so damn competitive hasn’t it? Back-biting, backstabbing, bitching, scraping, scheming, gossiping, it’s all going on, and these are just some of the things we’re conscious of, never mind the subtle stuff we barely recognise. Is this just the way of it? The way of the world? The way things are?

“It all seems like a desperate fight for survival. A dog-eat-dog world, the self-preservation society, the land of the fittest. Everyone seems to be playing the game of one-upmanship to its utmost, and if you don’t know the rules of the game, and can’t seem to make any sense of the confusion this brings, then basically, you’re screwed.”

It could well be that the vast majority of us are now playing the game of one-upmanship so well, we could describe our game playing skills as having become: unconscious competence. In the same way we learn to drive a car, initially it feels very awkward and unsystematic, yet now, if we’ve been driving for some time, it becomes unthinking and automatic.

“In other words, we’ve being playing the game for so long, we rarely think about the rules, and how to play on any kind of conscious level.”

There is a major problem here though. If we’re no longer conscious of playing a game, then the game itself, is out of control. How we play has become sloppy and slovenly. For example, consider what a driving examiner would make of your driving, if you took a test now. There’s a good chance many drivers would fail this test, perhaps the examiner would be appalled at how aggressive or nonchalant and lazy it has all become.

For further example, imagine a game of chess where the players no longer gently think things over, and then move their pieces into place, instead they smash them around the board in an aggressive and unthinking way. The manner in which they take their opponent’s pieces, is to simply discard them, and throw them on the ground. Definitely not how a game of chess should be played.

Coming back to the analogy of driving for a moment, along with failing to pass a test, an added problem is, if we drive in a slovenly lazy or aggressive way, we wear out our cars more quickly, and experience accidents or near misses more often.

And so what of this out of control game of one-upmanship? An overly competitive world, where we often feel threatened by newcomers, strangers or even people we know, is part of the problem. In such instances, we often act in a dismissive or rude manner, in order to gain the advantage.

A world where we must fight for the advantage, in any way we can, leaves us living in a place filled with lack, and to a degree, sadness. It feels like such a sad place when we’ve lost our kindness and time for each other because we fear, either being taken advantage of, or indeed losing the advantage.

“One-upmanship can be as subtle as not even bothering to say hello when we know this will have a negative effect on a kind and warm person. We may look to bring people down in order to gain the advantage. Why should we say hello? Why should we call and wish someone happy birthday? Why should we give anyone the time of day?”

Any moments of unkindness or coldness toward our fellow man – because we fear it may place us at disadvantage – are wasted opportunities. Any time we’re not living as independently as we can, dependant on others, feeding illusions of control, harbouring feelings of inferiority, are misguided moments.

Furthermore, when the mind – at an unconscious level – sees dis-ease as the answer to gaining control over others, and winning the pointless, hateful game of one-upmanship, this, is heartbreaking to see. In fact, we could say: our failing awareness of the competitive, ego-driven, fighting-for-the-top world, we currently live in, is killing us.

If we stop reaching for the top, and reach within instead, we’ll find something interesting: our higher self. Beyond our destructive, game-playing-ego, there’s an awareness and a cleverness waiting patiently. Hello.

Courage

Courage

Courage
Courage

“What is courage? Do you know any truly courageous people? What character traits would define a courageous person? Someone who can climb mountains?”

Perhaps this would depend on whether this was a real or metaphorical mountain, some might say the real ones are easy, and climbing has nothing to do with courage, just everything to do with bravado, and stamina.

Is a person who spends their life doing what they feel they must do, as opposed to what they want to do, a courageous person? You know, the person who bravely caries out their duty to others. Is that bravery or simply foolishness?

What about the firefighter or the soldier, are they brave? Saving lives or taking lives, surely there’s bravery there? Could you walk into a burning building, pull the trigger or go into battle, putting your life on the line? Bravery or simply foolishness? Testosterone and bravado? You decide.

And what about professionals? The people who hold high positions in society, such as representatives of government or professional bodies such as doctors, dentists and surgeons, they’re brave people right?

“Holding such a position must carry certain responsibilities that require strength of character and courage to endure.”

For example, is it a brave thing for a professor – who represents dental surgeons – to be on the side of the children, who come to see his dentists, as opposed to the parents who bring them? Can we just assume, that a person who holds such a lofty position in society, naturally understands his duty?

Does such a person naturally understand that he has a duty to display backbone and strongly advise and educate parents to do the right thing by our children? Surely denying a child time with a dentist, is a reflection of ignorance and neglect, is it not?

The reality is, when it comes to protecting the rights of the child, many professionals are unlikely to ‘commit career suicide’ by siding with the child and admonishing neglectful parents. It seems the parent is the one with all the rights and the child is secondary; another example of our topsy turvy world.

It has been noted that as many as 187,000 fewer children experienced the excellent services of a dentist in 2015/2016 simply because – as the professor mentioned above stated: “parents may have different priorities than taking their child to a dentist.”

Courage and how it’s viewed will obviously depend on the beliefs, views and experiences of the individual. Some may consider the bravest individuals to be the ones who simply devote themselves to living a good life and doing the right thing by the vulnerable.

“Doing the right thing is something that demands courage. Swimming against the tide takes courage. Standing firmly by your convictions takes courage.”

When we truly understand what integrity is, what love is, and what it means to protect the rights of the vulnerable, courage is demanded in such measure, that it becomes hard to define.

When we begin to see our children as the precious – so precious – investment in our future that they are, all of us will come to understand: if we don’t start showing the necessary courage and fortitude needed to protect the rights of the child, professional suicide or not, our future will be lost.

True courage is displayed by those who understand what fear is, and how the human mind may look to rid itself of this emotion, in a negative and destructive way.

Climbing mountains and stepping into burning buildings, is how understanding, emphatic individuals, rid themselves of this fear. Cowards rid themselves of fear by looking to control and frighten our vulnerable. Failing to protect our children is the worst kind of cowardice. A cowardice, that unfortunately for many of our children, is all too common.

 

Importance of improved parenting

Parenting or Government Dependency

Importance of improved parenting
Importance of improved parenting

The topsy-turvy world we live in and the need for improved parenting

Opening our eyes to the real reason for increasingly restrictive governmental controls, is likely to raise our awareness, to the need for improved parenting skills. The more dependent we become on government, through the shirking of more and more of our responsibilities as parents, the weaker we all become.

Governmental controls – be it sugar tax, authoritarian policing or more restrictive laws – are being implemented, simply because of the increased responsibility government feels. Indeed, it may well be the case, that government is happy to see this increased responsibility, and our subsequent dependency, as this increases their power. We could say, as a result of our blindness to these matters, there is now a mentality of fascism, insidiously growing and creeping unseen into government policy.

“Right now the need for improved parenting skills is greater than it’s ever been. If we continue to shirk our responsibilities, with our understanding and skills as parents becoming lost and confused, we hand over ever more of our power to government.”

Change, can at times be slow, and this is no more evident, than in our need (or that of the elite) to determinedly hold on to our antiquated class system; a system that’s as much alive today as its ever been.

We have the privileged and we have the underprivileged, or working class and middle class; the third option, upper class, is something of a joke these days, and it would be a mistake to think this status is only measured in terms of finances.

For example if we’re raised in an environment lacking in proper emotional boundaries, between adults and children, where positive adult role models are missing and/or where feelings of safety, security and love are also lacking, then we’re most certainly one of the underprivileged, and money may have no baring on this whatsoever.

“In fact family environments where money is scarce, yet where there’s an abundance of love, always do better than those poor in both comfort and love.”

blackboard1

To take the topsy turvy out of society would be to educate the underprivileged into understanding why they’re considered so (the elite and their need to restrict education for control).

To educate children about how to think and fully understand cause and effect – as apposed to what to think, and the do now, think later principle – is part of the solution. Continuing to reinforce our collective, limiting beliefs, and building on our failing methods of policing society, is no answer at all. Policing and laws will never bring about emotional maturity.

“Emotional maturity comes from effective role models in the home.”

Emotionally stunted adults raising children is just part of our current disastrous and messy recipe.  Until we teach our children, about the benefits of thinking skills and emotional maturity, our police force and laws will continue to become increasingly intrusive and authoritarian (think Big Brother).

Spec ops police officersSWAT

When it comes to the belief systems, that directly influence our expectations and experiences of life, they’re easily changed when we’re told: it’s okay to question them, and their origins, at a very early stage.

“For example, many of our belief systems relating to religion, politics, family life, what it is to be successful in this world, and how to get there, are in fact extremely restrictive.”

Now, although all of this may sound very accusatory or judgemental, it’s not until we open our eyes, and take collective responsibility, will we begin to make the necessary adjustments in current, dysfunctional thinking.